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Psychology of women's profile for men they would/want to date

Just curious, don't e-shoot me 😉, why do women specify characteristics such as "honest, generous, caring, etc .." for men?
Are there women (or men for that matter) that want to meet dishonest penny pinching narcissistic people?

mander207 4 June 20
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2

You actually read women's profiles? ?

8

My favorite is an obese male posting "No fat chicks."

Hahaha. Every. Single. Time

well, think of the logistics. His weight alone is taxing his car. If he adds another good size passenger it is likely to break the car. Same for the bed and the sofa. And a full size gal is likely to finish her meal, where a slighter girl might not, so he can.

5

"Confident, but not arrogant" is my fave! Only confident guys I've known dating after being divorced, were straight up players. They were confident because they had no feelings in the game.

And it was a game to them.

2

How many women have actually dated men who are honest, generous, and caring?

Many/most men lie to gain advantage and hide their true activities, like pretending to like the women while really just plotting to seduce them asap.

Many men are selfish..hiding their bass boat purchases while criticizing their wives when they spend money on hair salons.

Men can be caring when it's to their advantage, but if their regular romantic partners are out of town and a hot new woman starts eyeing them, it's amazing how quickly many men will remove their wedding rings.

You make this out like men are the only ones that do this, and that is simply not even close to true, woman do it too probably to an equal level, that’s how humans are, humans like sex and crave it.

@NOCMike You are mistaken. Most cis hetero men want to have sex all the time with most women, while most cis hetero women only want to have sex at certain times, and with only a select few people. Men THINK they understand women, but it's just them. That's why they actually often think women WANT to look at gross photos of their genitals.

That was a lot of generalizations, you have any data to back your claims? Most woman make generalizations that are not true about men. Most woman think most men want to send them pictures of there genitals. Most woman are looking for a sugar daddy. You see how that works and feels? Claims submitted without evidence can be dismissed without evidence, Everyone is different and that includes men and woman and can not be lumped in a most category other then most men have penis's and most woman have vagina's. I bet I can find data on that last claim I made, complete with pics! What's your e mail? lmao Just kidding.

The funny thing about stereotypes is there's usually a few grains of truth and a lot of bullshit.

While we're running with stereotypes and we were discussing who pays this week... a very attractive waitress has been flirting with me for several months. Chatting with her, she's about my age, very active a non-traditional college student....could be Twue Wove!

I brought up who pays, her response was the man pays 100% even going on expensive trips. So she's a hottie who wants a sugar daddy, I hope she gets a guy to help her through college and she doesn't feel like too much of a prostitute 🙂.

Prostitution sounds like a strong word there, but she wants someone to take her to expensive restaurants, pay for ski trips and concerts....in exchange for her company. I don't see how that's not some type of prostitution?

@birdingnut

"Gross photos of genitals"

Is all you need to know

@educatedredneck Wow. You lack male instincts. Females mostly only allow men into their lives if there is a distinct advantage, and the men are eagerly taking care of them..protecting, nurturing, adoring, and paying for them. Otherwise, why put up with them?

If some man were to ask me out, and I had to go to the bother and take the risk of meeting him somewhere, if he wouldn't pay, I'd walk out and block him from my life. I'd much rather be single.

@birdingnut ok that hasn't been my experience over 8 years of marriage and 22 years of dating and I while there will always be utilitarian concerns w any relationship I'd refuse to date any women who looks at me as dollar signs and a meal ticket w to give them "advantages"

Sure, I'm being a bit antagonistic but you claiming I "lack male instincts" simply bc we disagree here is Fing offensive. It's awesome to know I'll never have a shot with you! 🙂

1

When it comes to women and what they want in a romantic partner, never listen to what they say. Watch what they do. Their actions will speak far louder rhan their words.

BULLSHIT. I say what I mean and mean what I say. Women are not fucking animals to be "handled" and trained.

@Blindbird why do we have to keep repeating ourselves. FFS.

@Iamkratom right?" Don't listen to what women say". That's the dumbest advice ever. Listen very closely to what we say or your ass is gonna get dumped/ turned down for dates over and over. Idiotic.

Oh you still have so much to learn...I suggest stepping back and actually listening to women, not attempting to speak for them. Until then you will get it wrong every time.

I state in my profile exactly what I want and what I am looking for. I also state that I am pretty serious about it. If that is not important to you then you are not important to me.

@Blindbird, @AdorkableMe, @Chan, @Faithless1 👍👍👍👍

I had two players in my office trying set me on the player path when I got divorced. One thing they both stressed was many women write one thing, and do just the opposite.. They'd laugh and brag that things like "no hookups, interested in LTR only!" usually meant something more like 'oral before dinner at Chili's' with our age group. (I was just over 50, they were both 5 years older,)

One related a story to me about a woman he was going to see, and how she stressed over and over she wanted to meet in someplace public, well lit, etc... "For her safety". He then pulls up to the parking lot of the agreed location and she is in her at waiting. They wave at each other and she jumps out of her car, comes up to his, and doesn't even want him to park... Wants IN HIS CAR! He lets her in and she immediately starts hugging on him and then kissing him! (He was laughing telling me about this one) he said "Finally she sits back and I'm catching my breath! Then I reach over and poke her in the stomach saying 'stab stab stab!' because she had said like 2 or 3x she wanted to meet in public to make sure she felt safe around me. A few minutes later she is ready to go to my place when she figures out how close I live! Screw that!"

I've heard dozens of similar stories from both guys.

There are no doubt women who write exactly what they mean, but apparently there are many who write profiles they wouldn't feel embarrassed if read by co-workers... Despite their actual intent.

Of course I know guys lie to get laid. I got advice all the time by the 2 players of what I should write in my profiles. Hilariously, I was guaranteed that stating "good Christian man" on my profiles would get me laid!

The whole "never listen to what they, watch what they do" is so disturbing. It's literally the excuse men use for rape. "She said no but what she did said yes ." No is No. Period.

@Iamkratom

The topic of rape never came up in this discussion until you brought it up. Why the hell would you equate the crime of rape to observing a persons history of choices and behavior in regards to their romantic life?

@webbew1 I forgot women don't get raped on dates. That mentally of ignore what women say and pay attention to their body talk has lead to rape. It's a rape culture mentally that said far to often and some men (not all) think rape is justified.
I would like that to change.

@webbew1 because it IS a mentality that leads to rape. You're assuming women don't really know what they want, next step is assuming YOU do. Then it's totally okay to do anything because women don't really know what they want, right? Big ol'smart man just KNOWS what a woman needs, don't mind her yelling no at you, just means she's into right?

@Blindbird

We also have people out there who seem to think that they can take advantage of the elderly because they are old (amongst other individuals who engage in various other types of nefarious behavior) because they make the same jump to conclusions which you are referring to. We have laws and jails for people like that.

There is a big difference between observing behavior and assuming one can take action without consent based upon said observed behavior. The former is perfectly fine. The latter is illegal.

@webbew1 The former LEADS to the latter. It's never ok to discount consent/lack of consent period.

@Blindbird

As I already stated in my previous post, we have laws and jails for people who presume that they have the right to take action without consent based upon observed behavior.

@Blindbird "Don't listen to what women say". That's the dumbest advice ever. Listen very closely to what we say or your ass is gonna get dumped/ turned down for dates over and over. Idiotic."

I've seen this played out countless times.
e.g. One best friend of mine another lifetime ago, stunning, wicked smart off the chart, wanted to be married. Her boyfriend "sat" on this information a little too long. She dumped him and HARD.(sent all their photos together back to him and gawd knows what else)
While trying to console him couldn't help notice he was honestly shocked!? But he wasn't listening to her when it came to something VERY important. So he lost her.

Rinse repeat, her professor husband, smart sweet guy...kept not hearing her, that he needed to get off his donkey & stop burning down in front of video games with his twin brother. She also wanted to do some traveling before starting a family.
Did he act on any of this information before it was too late? NO. She went to Japan by herself while they were married. Did she divorce him in the most dramatic way possible? YES. ?

Both her exes were in hysterics in her wake. But neither were listening to her. SMH

She's just one. So this isn't isolated. Another GF is a way bloodier story, but I'll save that since it wound up in some revenge & serious headgames she felt was dealt her(he flaked when she needed him to be there for her). Still the guy was surprised when she dumped him.

Some otherwise intelligent guys just don't seem to have the skillset required & absolutely REFUSE to learn. ... before it's too late.

@Blindbird
I could also add:. Both those women were in love with their BFs, husband, both had abortions when the men they were with spooked them with their abject flakiness & fatal inability to LISTEN to them.

@Qualia I don't have any stories that intense but yes, not listening to what your partner says is the quickest way to kill a good relationship or find yourself in one thats very wrong for you.

@Qualia

So tell me why, after she dumped the first guy, she went back to the same kind of guy? If she really wanted to be with a guy who "listened to her", she'd have dumped the first guy and started dating an ear lobe.

I think you just proved my point, but I'll say it again just for emphasis.....

When it comes to women and what they want in a romantic partner, never listen to what they say. Watch what they do. Their actions will speak far louder rhan their words.

5

My guess they are listing the traits they find most important. Seems better than saying they have to be tall, hot, and rich.

Well I guess awoman once they meet a man can immediately tell if he is tall and hot, rich not sure the man could have a rental Bently! But how do you verify traits like honestly, caring etc...only by experience in my way of seeing it.

Maybe investing time with messages and phone calls, lol. IDK, just a thought. I don't understand why a woman would want to meet someone without knowing those things first and have it be a big surprise. That would be a no from me dawg.

I've only seen a handful of profiles that came out and basically said "I'm looking to be your trophy wife!" I saw one gal in Houston with a profile that was funny and full of snark... But when you read it, you realized "Wow! She's serious!"

Height, looks, fitness, smoking, drug use, Jewish or willing to convert, live in specific $$$ parts of Houston, and make at least 400k annually.

That later got changed to 250k!!!

I thought her profile was awesome since she had the gall to lay it out there! Even a dollar amount!!!

8

Men write the same exact thing....lol
Plus they write my favorite red flag line "no drama".

Photog Level 4 June 20, 2018
2

Pretty sure those are just generic "gimme" answers that make a tedious activity (filling out an online profile) easier to handle. Also lets people get through it in a noncommittal way, cause as you said - those responses don't really filter anyone.

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