I don't think that you shouldn't allow this to interfere with your current relationship and block the special bond that she could have with her grandson. It is a difficult situation, and while she may have done it for selfish reasons, you may never know. Your father may have had a 'special calling' in his last moments that led him to seek this, or wanted to find peace with his wife. My personal advice, if you do decide to seek out a relationship with her again, set boundaries. If you want your son raised in a scientific house, make it clear. If she has free time with him, be sure she does not abuse her power in an attempt to convert. I may be making a mountain out of a molehill, but you know how you want your children raised.

I think you are correct: this was about her, not about what he needed. My cousin did some crazy stuff like this with my mom and I was very angry about it. I think you are completely justified in feeling this way. I'm a x-catholic priest, and can say with certainty, this so-called baptism has zero to do with anything. It took me years and almost a doctorate to figure this religion thing out. I now say it is important to be a loving caring compassionate person in this beautiful world. The projection of the that onto god or Jesus or the trinity, etc. is projection. Be the good in the world and with your family and friends. Just my humble opinion.

She dishonored him.

She did it for herself no doubt-There is no right and wrong. Life is short. Its up to you

I think you have a right to be angry because all our emotions are valid. It is good that you can see that it was for her peace of mind, but also be aware that her lack of peace was probably, due to fear that she would never see him again, or that because she loved him the thought of him suffering after death brought her pain.
Because the whole religion thing is a delusion anyway, the ritual she went through really didnt change anything, and as I am sure others have said to you - let it go for your own and your childrens emotional welfare. As I said before your emotions are valid, it is what you do with them that is important.

This story touched me. I'm 74 and have copd and can tell as time goes by, that I get weaker. So I gave this some thought. I'm atheist and so is my romantic life love, and in all these years, she has been my pocket of rocks, (kept me anchored), always supportive, loving, always "there" for me. So..
I ask myself, what if, there was something she wanted of me, something that would make things easier for her, something that I might think was totally ridiculous, or even be totally against. I would want her to know that if it would bring her even one day of relief, she would have my full support, as she always was supportive of me. Of course that would exclude cutting off my penis, stuffing it in my mouth, and putting me on display, but short of that.

My sister did the same thing with my father. He was as atheist as it comes, and it was no secret. She talked about how a smile came across his face as he was baptised. I think it was a grimace because he didn't have the strength to punch the guy in the face.

What she did made no difference to your dad and his fate. But in a way, yes, you are wrong to be upset about this because that increases your negativity. Let it go and you will be calmer and happier. She was wrong to take advantage of your father's inability to defend himself, but that is on her, not you. No reason to feel happy about her actions, but you might feel pity for her instead of anger.

You could always take the ol' pascals wager, better to be safe than sorry. But what she did really didn't harm anyone. As a nonbeliever, I wouldn't be upset at this. The woman was trying to pay her respects to her dead husband, just because you and her don't have the same belief in what happens next doesn't mean you should get angry at her for honor the dead in the way she wants. People have been doing that since the formation of civilization. I'd take it as a sign of respect and gratitude. She was showing how much she loved him and saying her "goodbyes". Not trying to piss off an atheist.

I think because he lacked a sound mind, he wasn't really a part of it, and the only question would be if you think he, in a clear state, would have felt dishonored or humiliated by such a thing. I think out of love for his wife he might have been ok with it to give her some peace. I think we have to try to forgive this sort of thing because her intentions were good, even though religion in general leads to a lot of bad results.

I always think that if there was a god, and I was still a good person-living my life to “do no harm”, then a loving god (isn’t that what is preached) would not exclude me. Or you, your family, your deceased love ones and anyone else. It’s just a bloody ritual. Dipping someone’s head in water or sprinkling it over. I would let it go. I’m sure your dad wouldn’t mind if he loved her.

Their make believe rituals did nothing harmful to your dad. It might have given his wife some peace. Yeah, it was kind of intrusive, but people do stupid stuff when they're afraid or distraught. My advice is to let it go. Forgive her and move on. There is an old saying that not forgiving is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. So get the poison out of your system. Forgive her and move on.

Hell no, you aren't wrong to be upset by what she did. She showed complete disrespect for your father, and his stated beliefs. She basically ignored everything but her own need to perpetuate her delusions. I'd have cut her out of my life, too, and I certainly wouldn't want her anywhere near my children. This kind of bullshit is another reason I have such little patience with religutards.

Let it go apart from her being completely wrong in reality it doesnt matter. Shame she felt she had to betray her husband with her delusions rhough

When I was a bub and my mum was visiting her dad and his 2nd wife she was talking to her and she said "oh by the way your father's baptising your son right now". She wasn't impressed, but in retrospect I don't really care, it's just a meaningless splash of water. I've heard some ministers say that it's meaningless if the person isn't aware of what is going on.

That's messed up. I'd be upset. I don't personally believe in the afterlife but that or not shitty thing to do. I'm pro-consent all the way and whatever beliefs that baptism was a scam and without consent.

I can understand not wanting your son exposed to religious doctrine when he's young I can also agree with it making you upset. I guess it comes down to wether or not you want your mom to be apart of your life in general. If you feel ultimately incompatible with her belief then fair. I can understand why she would do it and since atheism has no concept of blasphemy I couldn't be too angry. I know though that if certain members of my family forced their beliefs on someone I cared about I might be happier severing that relationship rather than continue to make excuses for it.

My father had a similar experience with his older brother who was converted on his death bed. Dad never had much use for religion for most of his life. While this was a despicable thing to do, don't let the hate consume you. Forgive, if it gives you peace, but don't let this woman have an emotional hold on you, even if it's anger.

I don't think this was a matter of how you feel about it. He probably didn't care because it mattered none to him since he didn't believe that it would do anything to him. So if he was still happy to accept her as she believed, it probably didn't hurt anyone. I understand that she couldn't accept and honor his beliefs but maybe he could hers. This is the thing about persons who are religious they often can't respect those who don't believe and those who believe differently.

It's irrelevant to your life and your fathers.it's not like you are part of a religion and she baptised him into another one.it's not worth thinking about as it has no effect on anything.

First of all, Baptist was for her. not him, if it gave her peace, so be it - also if he was not of sound mind the bible would not recognise it as baptism.
She is an idiot and take solace in the fact there is no God, so it meant nothing.

What, are you angry about his baptism to appease a love one? Or that he let it happened?
The question you should ask, are you afraid that she's right, and if so, why? The answer isn't religion, the answer is only for you.

Let it be. Let her believe what she wants. Try to find something you do agree with her, and put emphasis on that. Not permitting your sons to discover who she is, is not a rewarding decision. You can advise your sons not to bring up the subject of religion and ask your mother to avoid the subject. Do not be concerned if she lapses. Your relationship with your sons will be in the minds of your sons and they have to decide for themselves what to believe. If you try to control your mother or your sons, you might encounter resistance. Just let it be and let your mothers ideas be her own and expose your sons and mother to the love they deserve.

One of the purposes of religion is to provide comfort with respect to our own mortality and that of those close to us. The idea that you end this life and go to a better place, and that when your loved ones die, you are reunited with them, takes some of the finality out of death. It might be nonsense, but as a coping mechanism, it has validity.

Yes, it sounds like she did it more for her own sake than for his, and she's violated your and his principles along the way. But equally, it sounds like he might not even have been aware of that, so perhaps there's no harm done to him. If it helps her with her grieving process, then it's served a purpose.

Feelings aren't facts so always remember that feelings aren't wrong of course it anger you. Forget about in case she's right cuz even if there is a God or whatever power it's not like the one in the Bible I call myself an agnostic atheist because I believe in not knowing personally I don't like it when people seem sure there isn't a God or sure there is one it's an unknowable. But just like you want people to let you be you let her be her. By the way I like your profile I'm a contradiction too .