If he was an atheist, no amount of preaching and crossing the forehead with water or dunking in a baptismal font (doubt they dunked him) or loud praying, will make a bit of difference to him. Be happy because you ARE a happy person...let it lie...

I think that baptizing someone against their will is pretty despicable, especially when it's done at a time with the person being baptized doesn't have the conscious ability to agree or disagree. For those who claim to believe in "free will," this is profoundly antagonist to everything Jesus taught, which suggests that she does not believe what she said she believed, and was willing to get what she wanted through any means necessary.

Walking around with anger or hurt/hate is a bad thing for you. The sooner you forgive and forget the better for you. She's still controlling you if you have bad feelings towards her in you. Don't do that...

There really are no straight down the line 'should's' or 'oughts,' we do what we do often from a very straight place within ourselves . Feel your anger and sometime you might be able to let it go - just carry on doing whatever you need to do for yourself - Many times I have been in a situation where someone with good intentions has 'blessed' me - I try to find the way to make it work for me and then let it go; like the man said "whilst your'e bearing a grudge the grudgee is out dancing!" it seems it is ourselves who give ourselves pain - Let it go if your husband was atheist its not going to harm him now.

You have the right to be angry ...but did you guys, you and your dad, talked about that before he got too sick? Or did you ask her if she had his okay?

A lot of religious people are selfish in this manner. They cannot live and let live. Think about it as a mass insanity. How can they justify a sky fairy in their own minds if someone rational is before them? She will say she saved him and her fellow believers will hero worship... ugh

I really REALLY hope no one messes with me like that. Sorry

It's pretty amazing how people are when death are involved. Did it hurt your father, no. But I would be very upset if someone did that to me towards the end. My Grandmother died Christmas Eve Morning. We still had our family Christmas and my mom let my Aunt say grace and it was horrible. This is the same Aunt who was upset with me when I decided to tell my family I was an atheist.

I was going to quote Voltaire's last words to the priest but there is doubt as to their authenticity. Instead I'll leave the following link to some interesting deathbed quotes real and imagined.
[nairaland.com]

OH my gosh! I would be livid You are right to be furious, but don't let the anger consume you. It only hurts you, not the transgressor. Peace.

I was in the hospital. My parents priest showed up to give me a blessing while I had a toothbrush in my mouth (in bed). Apparently the LOOK I gave him convinced him not to come back and visit again. It's wrong to force your beliefs on someone when they can't defend themselves. But don't worry - a baptism doesn't "make you religious".

Upset yes, I am explicitly stating I do not want god even mentioned if someone chooses to memorialize me. But the good part is what your mom did means nothing, My mom just died a few months back and she was like me, atheist and did not care to learn what my brother the pastor or my brother the born again catholic. With Alzheimers disease Mom was lost and I wanted to donate her brain to research, My wonderful catholic brother hired a priest , would not donate her brain due to the resurrection mom was about to receive. I was pissed off and mostly hurt at the lack of sense or common good.

I would be super pissed.

She’s an asshole

Awwww, my condolences for your Dad. And, I think this was a story on a show with Seth Andrews, "The Thinking Atheist."

I think you have a right to be upset by it but I would caution you to consider her position as well. He is gone, no harm done to him. The rituals and ceremonies that any one of us does when someone dies can be a comfort as well. She had to live on without him. She did what she had to do to let him go with some degree of peace of mind so that she could get through the day, the week, the month and all that follows. Living in a mentally/emotionally tortured state eventually leaks out to those around her so be upset, but at least give a little consideration for her needs, too.

My father was conservative Christian his whole life and in his last weeks he began to doubt his faith, doubt his faithfulness to that faith, and became terrified that there wasn't an afterlife. My stepsister convinced him to relax and wait for it, but his decaying faith at the moment of truth was eye-opening. It's not like your father's wife did any harm, because she just wasted some effort on a person who most likely had no idea what she was doing. I wouldn't want anything to do with her now, but she was just being ridiculous and that's not worthy of being upset.

It made no difference to him, in reality. Relax. It's not like he was actually damned--any more than he would have been without the silly ritual.

Neither. There's no point in being upset about it -it's happened. It probably gave her some comfort. Hopefully your dad didn't know much about it. And as far as you're concerned, I'm guessing you're not a believer, so what happened? A man said some strange words. I'm guessing their intentions were good if misguided.

It's all fantasy bull shit and doesn't really change anything, but it is creepy as fuck.
If she is an otherwise good person, the "christian" thing to do might be to let her see the kids everyonceinawhile, if they want to, after she apologises for her transgressions and promises to never do it again, or face full astraciziation.

I would be upset because of the presumption. She knew your Dad was an atheist so she waited until he couldn't object. It is similar to the Morman practice of having baptism ceremonies for a family's dead because of the "belief" that only Mormans go to heaven. I can't say if you were too hard or not with her because I don't know the whole story.

I think that a god so powerful and all knowing could weigh the evidence of someones life--you know, the one he designed and created and knew what was going to happen before it does--against the final act of pouring water on someones head. It is an insane thought to think that what you do in life is pointless unless you say some magic words at the last minute and thats all that is needed to pass a test.

I think his wife is and was evil. But you are correct, she did it for herself. And I think you should avoid her.

I doubt a few passes of the hand and sprinkle of holy water will make much difference to his eternal soul. The disturbing point is that she knew his standpoint. That is certainly disrespectful, probably not to your father as an atheist he probably wouldn't have bothered one way or another. But disrespectful to you as you knew your father's beliefs but were overtaken by her personal belief. My sympathies for you

It's not fair, nor is it really worth to carry the burden of the grudge. Just tell yourself the your dad's mind was Teflon covered..

She is an idiot who thinks a magic bath will make someone live forever, her delusion makes no difference to your Dad, laugh it off, all she has done is make a fool of herself.