I was in the hospital. My parents priest showed up to give me a blessing while I had a toothbrush in my mouth (in bed). Apparently the LOOK I gave him convinced him not to come back and visit again. It's wrong to force your beliefs on someone when they can't defend themselves. But don't worry - a baptism doesn't "make you religious".

Upset yes, I am explicitly stating I do not want god even mentioned if someone chooses to memorialize me. But the good part is what your mom did means nothing, My mom just died a few months back and she was like me, atheist and did not care to learn what my brother the pastor or my brother the born again catholic. With Alzheimers disease Mom was lost and I wanted to donate her brain to research, My wonderful catholic brother hired a priest , would not donate her brain due to the resurrection mom was about to receive. I was pissed off and mostly hurt at the lack of sense or common good.

I would be super pissed.

She’s an asshole

Awwww, my condolences for your Dad. And, I think this was a story on a show with Seth Andrews, "The Thinking Atheist."

I think you have a right to be upset by it but I would caution you to consider her position as well. He is gone, no harm done to him. The rituals and ceremonies that any one of us does when someone dies can be a comfort as well. She had to live on without him. She did what she had to do to let him go with some degree of peace of mind so that she could get through the day, the week, the month and all that follows. Living in a mentally/emotionally tortured state eventually leaks out to those around her so be upset, but at least give a little consideration for her needs, too.

My father was conservative Christian his whole life and in his last weeks he began to doubt his faith, doubt his faithfulness to that faith, and became terrified that there wasn't an afterlife. My stepsister convinced him to relax and wait for it, but his decaying faith at the moment of truth was eye-opening. It's not like your father's wife did any harm, because she just wasted some effort on a person who most likely had no idea what she was doing. I wouldn't want anything to do with her now, but she was just being ridiculous and that's not worthy of being upset.

It made no difference to him, in reality. Relax. It's not like he was actually damned--any more than he would have been without the silly ritual.

Neither. There's no point in being upset about it -it's happened. It probably gave her some comfort. Hopefully your dad didn't know much about it. And as far as you're concerned, I'm guessing you're not a believer, so what happened? A man said some strange words. I'm guessing their intentions were good if misguided.

It's all fantasy bull shit and doesn't really change anything, but it is creepy as fuck.
If she is an otherwise good person, the "christian" thing to do might be to let her see the kids everyonceinawhile, if they want to, after she apologises for her transgressions and promises to never do it again, or face full astraciziation.

They didn't save anything except (false) face. HE didn't embrace anything and they just put on a dog & pony show. Salvation requires personally embracing something; if he didn't believe then he went to his death with his (spiritual) integrity intact.

Hedging his bets no harm done.

I don't think that I would let what she did mess with your happiness. It is understandable what she did if she is one of the christians. Does not make it right. We have centuries of deep seated thoughts and ideas in our culture based upon christianity. I don't feel anger towards these people when I see or hear them say something or do something that contradicts logic and reason. It is a constant battle for us, but as they say down here in the South "it is what it is."
Just my opinion.

I think I would just view it like any other bath or shower, but likely soapless. As long as it didnt hurt him in any way, it was by definition harmless, right? I can understand you being upset because it was disrespectful of his beliefs, but I think I would have an easier time letting it go if I framed it that way.

I think I would just view it like any other bath or shower, but likely soapless. As long as it didnt hurt him in any way, it was by definition harmless, right? I can understand you being upset because it was disrespectful of his beliefs, but I think I would have an easier time letting it go if I framed it that way.

I agree with Mighty Justice, since there is no God it was more for her own peace of mind than anything. It doesn't really change who he was or what he believed at the end of the day. He may have went along to pacify her.

I agree with Mighty Justice, since there is no God it was more for her own peace of mind than anything. It doesn't really change who he was or what he believed at the end of the day. He may have went along to pacify her.

I agree with Mighty Justice, since there is no God it was more for her own peace of mind than anything. It doesn't really change who he was or what he believed at the end of the day. He may have went along to pacify her.

I wouldn’t be angry but for different reasons. There’s such an infinitely small chance they are right. I wouldn’t be mad because, despite the silliness of a baptism, they meant well. If a shaman came and sprinkled salt on his toes and ate a frog leg at his bedside while chanting it would be just as silly, but his intentions are good. I would thank them for their good intentions and smile to myself thinking how quaint.

You have a right to be angry, as she forced HER OPINION on a vulnerable person which to me is a form of mind-rape.

This was an act of compassion, she may have done it and it may be for her piece of mind, but its nor herself she did it for. Id welcome it. Evwn if I don't believe in it, its nice to know somebody cares.

Creepy, yes. I would agree with the other posters when thinking with my head. But when thinking with my heart: I thought it was SO CREEPY that Mormons were 'converting" people postmortem, even though I don't believe in Mormonism. So I hear ya, as they say. I'm so sorry for your loss XOXO

If he wasn't bothered by it at the time, I don't see any harm. If it annoyed him, that was darned rude of her.

Anger isn't healthy for you though, or for anyone around you. If you don't want anything to do with her; nothing wrong with that, but remember to kick her out of your head, too.

edit to add:

But if your kid wants contact with her, it would be healthier for him to have that and not worry about upsetting you.

It is not about you... is your father upset right now? We can't say, can't we? Let it go. Live your life. Remember the good. Don't let those others sour your relationship with your father memory. Having 2 daughters I know how important I am to them. You always going to be His Precious Daughter. With last rites or without last rites. Not trying to offend you. Remember... "NOTHING AND NO ONE BETWEEN YOU AND YOUR FATHER".

Something similar happened with my father. He was already in a coma and my BF on behalf of my sister, prayed over him before he passed. My dad’s sister that is also an atheist was pretty pissed off. But it didn’t bother me and I don’t think my dad would have cared either. When I asked him what he wanted done with his ashes etc...he said ‘What the F do I care, I’ll be dead’. So I don’t think he’d care if someone prayed some nonsense over his while he was dying.