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Could an Athiest with open views and a God fearing Christian with open views have a successful relationship or is it doomed from the start?

Kwhite7713 3 July 5
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13 comments

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1

I think what would cause major issues in this type of relationship is outside forces. Assuming that the couple could be so in love as to be able to respect their opposing views on a fundamental, life defining belief, in most cases there would be family to deal with. II, as an Atheist, have developed an understanding with my family, if they are believers, that has allowed them to accept me as I am. Will I be able to convince my partner’s family that I am not “leading their daughter into hell!” If she has a good relashionship with her family, based on their religious beliefs, and I am unwilling to participate in some way in their ceremonies and holidays without feeling like I am going to vomit because of the stupidity of the sermons and activities required, will it not cause her to feel the need to choose sides? Will there not be constant attempts to bring me into the fold by her family members, even if she is able to not do it herself? I have been in relationships with Christians, but they were not devout and loved sleeping in Sunday’s as much as me! ? And at the time I was a little more malleable about going to church for special occasions than I am now. I still show up at those few funerals and weddings I get invited to, but find a need to grit my teeth the whole time I am there. How would that work if my partner was a devout Sunday church attender?

1

+-i was the Christian and my husband was the atheist when we married in 1979. We had good conversations and my husband nicely presented to me how my beliefs were what I was taught to believe, and nothing else to them. I changed to being atheist over 30 years ago. We were married 37 years when he passed.

1

It really depends on each of you. (How's that for a non-answer?) For me, I can easily be friends with an open-minded Christian, and I can see how the paradigm can be interpreted positively. However, for a romantic partner, I would forever feel a bit of a barrier to fully speaking my mind and feeling like that person "gets me." I need too much to be able to speak plainly without my intimate partner feeling like I am disrespecting their heartfelt convictions. I would not go for it unless their Faith" was totally nominal/metaphorical and they were honestly NOT magical-thinking about it. But That's me. Your mileage may vary.

2

This question always reminds me of Elaine on Seinfeld.

1

Not going to be successful. Both would have to compromise their principles far too much.

2

If having open views means it’s going to get discussed then no, that is unless one of them changes the others mind in the first week. It’s either non sustainable or not an important issue to them, but it must be important for this post to have a purpose.

3

It all goes south when you say "God fearing." A Christian might be workable but not if they are the God fearing variety. How can someone who is sure you are heading to hell ever sustain a loving relationship with you. Doesn't make sense.

Now a Christian who is of the view this is the way they honour the divine variety may be able to wrap their head around a good person who is an Atheist, but the believer in the wrathful authoritarian God has no chance.

Kimba Level 7 July 5, 2018
1

I don't think so. I am an Atheist and I couldn't do it.

1

I genuinely believe that if two people can look past that and see them for who they are then yes it could work out, on the other hand if one or both are stuck on the fact then it's doomed from the start.

3

I know plenty of Atheists in a relationship (married, dating, etc) with a religious person. I think if both people have mutual respect for each other's views, it could work. Honestly, I personally could never be with a theist.

2

I think they could make it work, as long as both parties accept the other and can agree not to proselytize. And the Christian isn't going to be eaten up about the fate of the atheist's immortal soul.

1

I am not sure. You state 'open views' so that's good. But, for me, it wouldn't work out. I think I would lose respect. I couldn't deal with a partner who is acting out of fear. For some people, maybe it would be fine. ?

1

Theoretically yes. Any relationship can work if both parties respect the other’s point of view. In reality, probably not!

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