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Complaining.

Are you conscious of how often you complain and do you actively work to complain less?

How does it feel when you’re around people who complain excessively?

I have a lot to complain about, legitimate tragedy and corruption directly related to my being disabled, and all the hardship that comes with that.
I talk about it, but I think I’m pretty conscious about not flooding my friends and peer circles with it.
I’m steadily trying to distract myself with the more positive aspects of life.
I consciously look for that which feels good to focus on, and I try to maintain some sort of balance.

It’s difficult for me to be in the company of people who habitually talk/write about menial struggles, issues that have solutions, though I recognize it’s all relative.

AMGT 8 July 9

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31 comments

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10

the constant complainer can add me to the list of things to complain about because I'll get tired of listening pretty quick. someone who talks about difficulties is one thing, someone who whines about the trivial is another. ??

I might go out and complain about some complainers to thier face. if it works I won't have to listen to them complain anymore.

10

I'm not a complainer. And I don't have much appetite for a ton of somebody else's. There's just more interesting stuff to talk about.

skado Level 8 July 9, 2018
10

I do not complain. I admire those who don't.
We all have struggles, some more than others. Saying that sounds trivial, but that's not what I mean.

If someone needs help, I will listen and offer assistance. If someone's just complaining, I am less apt to care.

Ditto

6

I don't like being a pin cushion so if I begin to feel like one, I'll pull away from that person, persons or group for a while or permanently, depending on the association. When you have a lot of empathy and compassion you tend to draw people like that. I admire people who own their story and open up about certain struggles in their lives. It helps people relate and I think being vulnerable in that way takes courage. But there are those who constantly complain, and that just brings me down after a while. If I'm involved in a themed site, post, blog, or debate (e.g. politics and/or religion) I consider that different.

6

Yes, I consciously don't complain (too often). And it's no fun being around a complainer.

5

It is hard to hear because we absorb the complainers negativity but everyone does it from time to time. if you are open to hearing someone trying to help you by lifting the mood or presenting some bright side, then it is easier to deal with. some complainers never want to hear a bright side. those are the worst to be around. i try to be someone i wouldnt mind having to listen to.

5

My daughter taught me to try to look at some positive aspect of any situation. It's not easy, and it doesn't always work, but it's energy invested into something other than complaining. People who always complain tend to blame everyone for their problems and not consider their own part in the path to resolution. People who think like that are never happy. And I do try to steer clear of them. Good on you for looking for the positive in the face of adversity. Not easy. Highly commendable.

4
3

I have a friend that gave me a great motto. Can complain, choose not to. I think of that often

3

Yes. I never complain. If you can fix it, fix it. If you can't then complaining about it will rarely help. Now there is a difference between complaining and voicing frustration/venting. I too try to focus on the things I can change and the positive things. I refuse to be a pessimist.

3

I seldom complain. When I find something distasteful or troublesome enough, I say so, along with the grounds for the statement. That is not a complaint, but an assertion and a search for a solution for the distasteful event or act. I don't complain. I try to cvorrect the problem or leave the situation.

3

I probably complain more than I recognize. Hell, I work with a guy that complains about everything constantly, so relative to him, my own complaining is minuscule. However, that situation may cloud my own interpretation of any complaining that I may or may not actually do. For example, my level of complaining may be greater than 10 randoms of this site complaining, but I may not recognize that due to the lack of exposure.

2

Oh yes, I am well aware of the amount I complain. Not making any effort to stop it. Its one of my hobbies. As my wife says "I wouldn't be happy if I had nothing to complain about"

Me too. One of my few pleasures in life.

2

Some people accuse me of being negative but a few tell me I'm so good at making humorous complaints that they don't mind. I really don't care very much what people think anymore.

Carin Level 8 July 12, 2018
2

I have a lot of compassion for complainers, having been one myself. Usually people who complain are overwhelmed by lots of fears and things that are not in their control. I've been able to let go and focus on the things that are important and try not to worry about the little things. A lot of things I've come to understand have their own way of working out.

You sound like a nice person.

@Carin I try. Not always.

2

I think this is the key. Understanding how pain is relative frames the narrative and makes it easier to digest.

The problems start however, when some people, who instead of wanting better for themselves, insist on everyone else suffering more. Those types are easy to spot.

2

Sometimes people complain about little things maybe bc it feels safer or just where their focus is at that moment. anyway, lots of star outside tonight 🙂

2

I complain a lot about people that complain a lot. Aren't they just the worst?

2

I rarely complain because nobody is interested.

2

I try to only complain when it can directly affect a future outcome. For example, I am getting shitty service or I don't like what my elected officials are doing. Any other complaining is disempowering not only to you, but the others around you. I have people like this if at all possible.

2

I try not to complain but sometimes a subject comes up and I then have to give an explanation that sounds very much like complaining.
It all starts when someone asks me what I do for a living.

1

I would like to think that I am conscious, however that's for everyone else to say

1

I can absolutely relate!
I have had daily struggles for most of my life. I am a chronic pain sufferer and I've caught myself complaining on tougher days, but daily, I don't think I complain much.
I'm even a little annoyed when friends, who know I suffer, keep asking me how I am. I'll tell ya how I'm feeling, but I would prefer to just get on with what's important. How I'm feeling isn't really going to get better, and certainly not by talking or complaining about it.
I work with a complainer, and he annoys the crap out of me!

scurry Level 8 July 10, 2018

@AMGT Holy Crap!! I had no idea. I'm So Beyond Sorry!!!! I can't imagine anything worse. I'm so so sorry. I can't even begin to understand what you went through. Faakk!!
It's pretty awesome that you're the go-to mom. That absolutely says something about you. It takes a lot to be able to relate to others - more so others from a different generation. Sounds like your son's friend knows she's lucky to have you.
Hugs to you!!

1

I am not big on complaining. If someone has legitimate complaints or is just annoyed and is venting that’s fine. But if they are constant(my head hurts, my back hurts, I’m tired - periodic complaints) my opinion is that they are looking for attention.

jab60 Level 6 July 10, 2018
1

For me it's balance. If they are working to find a solution and they are just venting frustrations, then ok, but if they are just complaining to get attention, then naw, it's a mess and I cannot handle that.

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