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What was your funniest first date?

Tell us your funniest first date story.

When I was 15, my parents thought I was too young to date. Wait until age 16.

But they were fine with Ricky Salvaggio taking me to the movies. Ricky and I grew on the same lake in Michigan. He lived five houses away. As kids, we played together.

At 16, Ricky impressed my parents by saying he planned to become a priest.

In our small town, Union Lake, there was no movie theater; just a drive-in movie. Union Lake also had the highest teen pregnancy rate in the state.

Ricky picked me up in an old car, with the front seat propped up by a board. As we jounced into place at the drive-in, the board slipped. Suddenly, we were flat on our backs! We looked at each other, shocked.

“A priest, eh? I asked dryly, and laughed. We laughed through the entire movie.

By LiterateHiker
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11 comments

1

A running club I was in threw a Christmas party one year and it just happened to coincide with when I began to see a woman. I don't dance, so we took a pass when they announced that they were going to play a dance version of musical chairs. In their version, when the music stopped, the announcer would call out a sexual position and whoever was last standing left the floor. I was simultaneously mortified and couldn't stop giggling for all the calls for "wheelbarrow", "woman on top" and others. I was accustomed to the brazen nature of the club, but she wasn't. What an introduction!

chalupacabre Level 8 July 12, 2018
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1

Met someone from a dating site a few years back. She led off the conversation by telling me she never wears three things - coats, socks and underwear. She then went on about how she had a tendancy to be toxic to relationships.

Now this was a top-shelf gorgeous woman, professional, and I was already curious about why she would need to resort to a dating site.

Suffice to say the evening continued to get stranger as time progressed. It ended up with her throwing her drink at me and getting kicked out of the place.

That's a close to funny as my dating stories get.

ronin73 Level 7 July 12, 2018
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1

I still wonder is it a date if you don't know its a date when i was 16 my best friend invited me to an art show that also had a book signing by an author i liked so sounds like a prety great day to spend with your best friend well that was what i was thinking
and around 16 i was oblivious to girls hiting on me
so we go to the show its in a bar we manege to get in where hanging out with people this other girl i was talking to about art aperantly was into me as well but oblivious as i was i did not realize it and then she says oh sorry are you guys on a date my friend was about to say well we are i invited him
but befor she could finish her sentance i said no shes my best friend to wich the other girl replyed are you sure that of that i think she sees you as more then a friend maybe you should pay atention when a girl into you and she left smiling i turned to my friend and realised she had her hair done makeup nice dress the whole nineyards and she was blushing all uncomfterble and only then did it hit me she likes me more then a friend and this is a date so i started playing down the concep of a date by saying the most shitty pickuplines ever she laught and back to her normal self she was affter that we had a great rest of the evning. we ended up together for 6 years after that

astrocreep1994 Level 4 July 12, 2018
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2

I'm an avid bird photographer and environmentalist. I had a date from a dating classified ad, and while we were walking to the restaurant, we passed a grove of trees where some migrating warblers were singing.

I paused to listen and remarked that they were an endangered species. The guy actually said that if a bird is going to go extinct it may as well go ahead and do so, and remove their flawed DNA from the gene pool.

I was too shocked to reply. When we sat down to eat, I asked him what he did and he said he was a developer. He'd buy tracts of forest land, bulldoze it, and build condos. He proudly bragged about how much money he was making.

I was furious, and stood to go. I told him that his destroying the natural habitat of wild birds for his personal gain that people like HIM were what was what's wrong with this world.

He looked up at me and said, "I take it there won't be a second date?"

I said, "You're SO right," and walked out of the restaurant.

birdingnut Level 8 July 12, 2018
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@Birdingnut
I had the same experience with a man who spent 30 years clear-cutting Washington and Oregon for Weyerhaeuser. He flew his private plane to Wenatchee to take me to lunch.

It had snowed in the mountains the night before, dawning a clear, blue day. I grabbed my camera. When I met him at the airport, I asked for a plane ride around nearby Mt. Stuart, 9,416 feet.

That spectacular flight the best part of the date.

Photo: Mt. Rainier, 14,127 feet, wrapped by the Enchantments.

Over lunch, we argued about protecting the environment vs. industry, organic vs. non-organic foods (he was against organic), environmental destruction caused by clear-cutting, etc. Polar opposites.

Edited
1

You know you are old when you can't remember first dates. But going to try... Remember a first date, we started walking and she started limping. I didn't asked why. Happened she was an athlete and had a hip problem. Making love to me on a regular basis cleared her condition and of course she married me.... 19 years. The second longest relation I ever had also remember I arriving 45 minutes late, she was so unhappy that she showed me she could kick me in my throat if it ever happens again. Despite being in her 40's then, we still movie date 16 years later but once again I am walking out of her life to another state. I still do the late thing but I am adorable. She gonna miss my lateness without a valid excuse.

GipsyOfNewSpain Level 8 July 12, 2018
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4

In the 11th grade, I was not interested in going to prom. I was an enterprising musician and had booked a gig at a friend's prom party and was looking to make some money. Some people began saying to me "hey, how can you do that gig when you'll be at prom?" I said I wasn't going and they looked confused.

A while later, I was asked "hey, what made you decide to ask Liz to the prom?" I had no idea who they meant. They meant the younger sister of a girl I knew. Mind you, I had never spoken to her beyond saying "hi" maybe once. I figured it was the other Matt Thompson (yeah, that's my name... creative parents I have) in my grade. I said "oh, I hope they have a good time" and thought nothing more.

A bit later, her sister comes to me and asks "Did you ask Liz to prom?" I truly hadn't. She told me that their whole family was surprised - Liz never showed interest in anyone before and she started just saying this stuff about going to prom with me. They all just assumed she was a lesbian prior to this. So, I was encouraged to take her; "we'll even pay for the dinner and everything. We just want her to have a great time." I was sympathetic, but I booked a gig for my band and wouldn't be able to do both. I was the drummer for this group and had to handle that and PA gear. I took it seriously.

A few days later, Liz walks up to me, says "here", and hands me a bit of peach colored fabric. Puzzled, I asked what it was for. "This is the color of my dress. My mom and I finished it last night. Make sure your tux highlights this color." I'm somewhere between flattered and feeling like I'm talking to a crazy person. "Liz, I get that you want to go and you seem nice but I planned to..." She grabs my hand, looks in my face, and says "Please?" ... so, I was the only dude that year in a gray tux (what, peach and black seemed harsh!)

Her family was extra happy for me to take her out. I wasn't comfortable having them pay for everything - so, I just ate the costs... did the flowers, got mom flowers too (hey, I'm not always punctual and I know this. Plan ahead in case I'm 5 or 10 late by giving mom a good vibe), did the tux, cleaned my family's classic car... did a double date with some other friends in case conversation got tough since I didn't know this girl and she could get shy... I was genuinely trying to be a decent intro to guys.

Haha - I was polishing the brass on the titanic. It was awful. She complained endlessly... didn't like her food (she insisted on the place!), thought I tipped too much (people complain about this?!), didn't say much otherwise, didn't want to dance, was jealous when I spoke to other people... However, I was determined to have a good time, so I grabbed another girl that was having a bum date and danced. We're hit it off and decided to ditch our dates and hang out. I got Liz home around 10:30, told her I had a good time (not a lie - just not with her), and that I hope she did as well. Went full Road Runner and meep meep'ed my ass over to the other prom deserter. Not a class move, but I'm 16 and not feeling the martyr role for this adventure any longer.

I saw Liz a few years ago with her husband out on a date night. She is the queen of resting bitch face, but she brightened up when she saw me. "Hey, remember me talking about that prom? This is the guy!" Her husband has a great sense of humor. We hung out for a bit and swapped stories. She thanked me and said that she learned to be more considering of a date's feelings from that experience. The husband said "yeah, thanks man!" She then informed him that "too late for you, we are married... GOTCHA, BITCH!"

Awkward date, but great people.

HonkyBMcfunky Level 6 July 12, 2018
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@HonkyBMcfunky
You are a grand storyteller! Are ye a wee bit Irish? Half-Irish, I'm a born storyteller.

@LiterateHiker English and German as far as I know, but I can pretend in March with the best of them!

2

@LiterateHiker Your story is funny and adorable. I'm shocked at how the topic was interpreted as an invition to bully annymous people.

The best I can do is share this:
My true first date happened the summer I was 15. A older boy named Mike called and asked if I'd like to go bowling that afternoon. I called my mom at work (pre-cell phones) because I was excited, but freaking out--a date!! She couldn't leave work, so she told me what cute outfit to wear and told me to get $10 from the hidden spot in her room. She didn't want me without a quarter for a pay phone or some cash. Just in case. Turned out, my brother had already taken all the money without permission. All that was left were quarters. So I put them all, about $9 worth in a baggie, but it was super heavy and nosey in my purse, so I clutched it tightly when walking. He showed up to get me a couple hours later. We had a great time. When we were getting ready to leave, he picked up the strap from my purse to hand it to me, I panicked, not wanting him to know I had all that change. I grabbed it too quickly and he released simultaneously causing my purse to go airborn. When it hit the ground, the bag opened and quarters flew everywhere. He stood there looking at me like I was insane. Again I panicked but quickly recovered saying, I hoped there would be some fun arcade games we could play. We ended up in an arcade and had a great first date.

MarvelAnn Level 7 July 12, 2018
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@MarvelAnn

Thank you, dear. Your story is hilarious! I was thinking if he got fresh, you could whap him with your heavy purse.

That was quick thinking! Love your clever comeback.

0

On this one really funny first date, I got catfished hardcore.

She weighed about 50 lbs more than her online pictures, and was in fact very overweight.

So we are talking about being definitely outside of the very wide, forgiving range of beautiful female bodies, here.

I kept stuttering because from the moment I saw her, all that was crossing my mind were the jokes I wanted to make. I started to laugh at the jokes going across my mind, and she would laugh along, thinking that I was jumping for joy over the date, so when I went home, I had even more laughs to myself.

DZhukovin Level 7 July 12, 2018
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Sorry, but wow, she dodged a bullet. Your story offends me as a human, let alone a plus-size gal. Not cool, dude.

@MarvelAnn

Listen, I don't create your sensitivity, okay? Stop pretending like this is all my fault.

Edited

I had a similar experience where a girl was much bigger than her pictures, but damn, dude, that's harsh to make jokes and laugh about her weight when she's standing in front of you.

@joeymf86

Who said I was making jokes? This was never said.

Edited

@DZhukovin You said that.
"...all that was crossing my mind were the jokes I wanted to make. I started to laugh at the jokes going across my mind..."

@joeymf86 I also had a guy who was much heavier than his pictures and I wondered what else he was hiding or lying about.

However, unlike @DZhukovin, I’m not a complete ass hat and do not make jokes about someone’s weight. In my mind or aloud.

I hope this happened years ago, while you were still really young and immature. If it was recent, you're just a dick.

@Marcie1974

Thank you

@KKGator

It was two years ago. I was twenty four.

Edited

@joeymf86

Okay so I was in fact making jokes.

Why is it such a crime that I thought something that never affected her?

@DZhukovin It's not a crime. You can think whatever you want. However, admitting to such an inconsiderate thought and not realizing that it be can be hurtful if you act on such thoughts (ie laughing at someone) leaves impressions that you are not a compassionate person.

1

My supervisor at work kept "hinting" that I should date his daughter...

He went so far as to schedule a one on one lunchtime meeting with me, only to "forget" two conflicting appointments... lunch with his daughter, and a meeting with his supervisor.

I walked into his office to find his daughter, and him leaving to go to a meeting. On his way out, he commented that the two of us should just go to lunch together, without him.

I assumed that the daughter was at least somewhat interested in me... and the only reason I wasn't sure about her, was the "boss's daughter" idea.

So we went out a couple of times, with me playing the perfect(ly boring) gentleman. She lost interest, and said "goodbye"... and I continued working for her father, without any drama, for another year (left for unrelated reason).

I sometimes wonder if that was the best way to handle it...

camne Level 6 July 12, 2018
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5

Met a women on line, her photo looked nice and she said she was 6ft. Tall. That's works.

Caution, Whenever you finally go out on a blind date. Keep your investment low, don’t buy drinks or food.

My mistake i took my blind date to a bar & grill. I looked around to find her, from the photo I had, could not find her. Then she stood up, I mean way up, like the friendly giant. She was 6'8 ft. the tallest women I have ever seen in my life..She also gain 50lb& aged 25years more compare to her pic.

We eat and drank,after await she got very drunk and wanted to go for a moonlight walk. Its intimating to argue with a women that big and that drunk, so I agreed.

We walked around the park She took her big mans hands and grabbed mine, in which covered my entire hand, like a man's hand. Her shadow was huge and my shadow on the sidewalk looked so small.. Had a flashback of walking with my mother as a child...Then I looked up... Way up.... Then said, I'm sorry this is not going to work out.

Next day my buddy asks me about my date... I said Nothing happened.
He said. Not from what I saw, I happened to be at that bar. Looked like you romancing a sasquatch .

Castlepaloma Level 7 July 12, 2018
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This is a great story. Catfishes suck!

Everyone has their time when they have to face judgement lmao. Glad you survived the romance-rapture.

Edited

Sasquatch!...Dude! You shoulda' totally climbed that mountain!

@goldenvalleyguy

Wondered if she turn out to be a guy. Then the lying game could of turned to be the crying game.😫

@Castlepaloma ...never date a chick that can dunk a basketball! She really might have had an extra surprise 'tucked' away for later....LOL....

0

I only had one first date. 🤐

Silver1wun Level 7 July 12, 2018
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