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Dating Site Don'ts

What are some small things that you consider "don'ts" on dating sites?

Excluding the obvious like posting nudes and harassment.

Little quirks if you will that make you less likely to want to meet or carry on a conversation.

Crimson67 8 July 12

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Admitting to be being a 45 supporter.


Dead animals in your pics. MAGA hats. Confederate flags. Pic frames that say "blessed" or "I stand for the flag".


My biggest turn-off is when I’m messaging/chatting with someone and I could sense that they are messaging multiple people simultaneously. How I could tell is the delay in response and the terse, nonsensical answers they give. To me, when I’m talking to someone, it’s because I’m interested in getting to know them and I’m giving them my full attention. I expect the same courtesy in return or it’s good bye.

I agree. Maybe I’m showing my age, but I prefer common courtesy and basic social etiquette when I’m chatting. I always consider the person I’m chatting with as someone I’m talking to face-to-face, and therefore if I get inadvertently distracted, I’ll let them know by talking them “uh gee, my dog needs out, brb....” or some such. It takes little more time and shows respect, which at minimum can only help your dating potential, right?


No photo or bio is an immediate turn off, or a bio that just says “message me”. Why?

PenLOP Level 7 July 13, 2018

Usually "message me" is someone trying to bypass having to pay on those sites that let you lurk but requires payment to participate.

@godef Ok, I get that, but I’ve seen that on this site too. Sigh.


Guilt tripping others. Tearing them down for circumstances you don't have any idea about. Stuff like that


When the Bible is listed in favorites


Posting a main picture that does not match the posted age by at least 20 years. An older picture might be ok if it is there for a reason, and not represented as being current.

Sending a message that just says, "Hi there," especially when their profile shows they have nothing in common with you.

Personally, I don't date smokers, and prefer nondrinkers. I am open as far as diet as long as they accept the fact that I am vegetarian.

I also tend to immediately move to the next profile if the lady indicates that she is religious. It would not be a good match for either of us.

Sending a respectful message that references something in their profile to show actual interest in something you may have in common.

Humor, in your profile, your picture(s), and/or your messages is a good idea as long as it is in good taste, not forced, and not overdone.


I think a long list of attributes you don't want in a partner is a bit of a red flag. I understand you have had some bad experiences in relationships - we all have - but your profile is your chance to sell the dream of being with you, so please accentuate the positive.

Strabo Level 6 July 12, 2018

Snapchat filters...puppy ears, big eyes etc...Just don't.


Types in all caps. Always, every time a guarantee of low intellect usually combined with laziness. Not interested.


Talking about themselves the whole time. It's nice to get to know someone, but it has to be a mutual curiosity.

Gareth Level 7 July 13, 2018

I've spent some time on dating sites and have passed up a lot of potential matches for various reasons.

Both women and us guys are guilty of looking at a pic first, its just human. So lets start with the pictures:
Unless you're at a pool or other activity where a swimsuit is warrented keep the clothes on.
Posting Cleavage, eroticly posed, or nudity sends the wrong message if you want a relationship not built on sex.
All kids are cute but their faces and images shouldn't be on a dating site.
Don't post senior pictures from H.S. unless you're this years class or you actually do still look the same.
Angry faces.
Crosses, rebel flags, wedding pics,........

Just post pics of your self, doing things, being a goof, or what ever. Then again I don't get a lot of responses, lol.

Bio/written profile:
As the guy its like we are expected to initiate so we need something to work with here.
Grammar and spelling is important.
Its ok to list a few dislikes, but knowing the things you do like can be nore helpful.

Just be yourself and be true. Women don't be afraid to intiate the conversation, but same rules apply to you as to us guys. Some of us can be oblivious though, lol.

Best advice: a dating profile is an advertisment selling you. Don't bait and switch, post real pictures, and write an accurate description.

I could not agree more about the pictures. I always shake my head at the cleavage shots, the bare torso shots, the man in bikini shots, and even the sexy bedroom eye, pouty lip shots.


I’ll tell you later.....oh no you won’t. A shopping list of physical attributes wanted, these are huge red flags for me.


All photos are wearing sunglasses. Are you trying to be incognito?
Photos with a gun.
Barely filled out profile.
Selecting " prefer not to say" to questions that are totally innocuous (for instance: I can see from your pic you wear glasses, ladeezman242).
Any profile that starts with a negative rant. I get it - online dating sucks, but we're not going to start this off with you taking your dissatisfaction at the process on me.

GwenC Level 7 July 13, 2018

You don't have a bio filled out either. 😉

@AstralSmoke LOL!!! Touche!

@AstralSmoke I don't view this as a dating site

@GwenC But we do have a compatibility score, so you must at least be aware that some members view it as such.

@AstralSmoke and your point is? I've got other profiles other places that are actual dating sites that meet my own criteria


When someone clearly has not read my profile or my words or chosen to ignore what I have said. If I say I am a demisexual I am a damn demisexual. Do not try to hint at sex or hooking up right away! I am not playing any damn games. Also when the guy is too pushy trying to get me to send pics or to meet him. I send pics IF I want and I meet when I am ready. Stop with the forcing shit. ugh :/


Starting off with uninviting greetings:

How are you?
What’s up?”

Or the more elaborate and unnecessary:

“Hey I saw you and I just had to say hi”

Come on really?

Anyway, I personally like someone who chimes in with a more assertive approach. Like some oddly observant comment about something they saw on my profile or photo, or some cheeseball compliment. Just keep the creep factor to a minimum. ?


It doesn't seem to matter on how I perceive them. it does matter how they perceive me. I must be doing everything badly.

@Donotbelieve You're such a sweetheart!


There are passions you would like to share with others as perspective friends. Material things can give others ideas of what kind of a person you might be. What fun those You should put out those "this is what I like" parameters. Saying "Hi" to someone could be to just see if they might get your attention. Though saying "Hi, what do you like to do for fun?" would be better. Sometimes I just like to say "Hi" and see if I get a "Hi" back. I could just say "Why" too.


Spiritual but not religious. Smoking. Suggestive poses. Saying you like to have fun and laugh. I mean, have you ever seen someone who says they like to spend their time being tortured? Didn't think so. Or having nothing on their profiles. Come on, say something about yourself.


Long winded blathering on about themselves.
Blah, blah, blah...


Not a fan of pictures that include small children or animals. If you have them, then that’s fine, of course, but I think that comes up in the getting-to-know-you stage.


Well, I prefer the old fashioned way. Meeting someone, making contact and find out if it sparks. That's how I met my wife. Never needed a dating site. Suppose Internet is gone because of whatever reason. You have no idea how to make contact with other people. Well, yea, find some church and connect, but for me that's no option.

Gert Level 7 July 13, 2018

Dating sites are a turn off.

djswan Level 4 July 13, 2018
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