A student failed to have her paintings ready for her Senior exhibition. Her water heater exploded a month prior and ruined them.

Just recently, on the way out the door, pushed a large glass bottle of olive oil onto the tile floor. To make it worse, I have dogs that would have licked up the oily shards.
Truly the worst mess Ever, and dangerously slippery too. Oh, and the grout sucking up the oil was So helpful!

Sorry I am late, I didn't want to come.

I was looking after my friends sons hamster, whilst they were all away on holiday. The hamster got loose and chewed though the wire of my alarm clock and electrocuted itself. I then had to go to a pet shop and find a lookalike replacement for the hamster.

Someone smashed my car window and I had to file a police report and get the window fixed.

Someone came to work late once and just said "I would have been on time but I didn't really want to." Good to be honest at least.

My goat is kidding & I'm covered in goo.

I drank too much last night

I can never think of these things on the spot. Not really sure of any crazy excuses I've heard, I'm sure I've given a few though! XD

"Sorry, I was in Poland this morning" was a memorable one from a junior colleague recently.

Two of them from the same friend--after a massive flood she sent her boss a photo of the street, which was under chest-high water. And after a huge snowfall she sent the same boss a photo of her car, buried under several feet of snow, with a small bit cleared off and the note 'This took an hour and a half.'

<Smug mode>
I've worked from home for myself for 15 years now. Never late as I manage my own time.
</Smug mode>

"I am late for a liver transplant" he told the officer who stopped him for speeding. The problem is, it was true. I wasn't an excuse.

I had said more than once.... if somebody was going to be late, it has to be me. I was never good at dates, I will get dress and hope she call and cancel so I will go somewhere else. I liked the Freedom to hunt more than the best date ever. That was me. I got caught a few times after breaking up a date... life in the hunting grounds.

Late to biz meeting in another state went into meeting with approximately 200 people in the room. Pres ask why we were late
.
Alien abduction

Everybody laughed and we got away with it.

I got high

"Yeah but I'm still early for tomorrow"

I was at the shopping mall and forgot where my car was.

Went to get a quick hike in!

A freak accident involving a toaster, hippo, and a bag of frozen peas. You don't want to know the details.

The flying saucer that kidnapped me ran out of gas…

i had to kill a blind rabbit said i to my boss

Ship ran aground, Sir.

"It was dark, so instead of taking my blood pressure medication I took an opana."

He didn't last very long.

I have been late several times going to remote Thailand schools because public transport songtheah wouldn't stop for me. I had to ask my boss for a lift a couple of times before I learned to take a songtheah to an intersection south of town where all the songtheaw had to stop.

I usually err in the direction of early, so it isn't a common problem for me.