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Why are men and women put under so much pressure to have kids in this society?

EmeraldJewel 7 Aug 7
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0

Most people in this country are religious and popping out those little critters fills the pews.

gearl Level 8 Aug 8, 2018
5

Because its always been "a woman's purpose" to have the next generation.

It irritates me. Why? I can't even raise myself why on earth would you actively want me to have responsibility over an infant!?

Ikr !

4

Hell if I know. I think it's pretty inappropriate for anyone to exert any kind "pressure" on anyone to procreate. Society can go fuck itself with that bullshit.

I remember the father of a friend telling me that since I was an intelligent woman, involved with an intelligent man, we had a moral obligation to have children.
We didn't, and I never have.

Good for you, and it's your choice anyway. I always call people like that as "doing a job on you, or doing a number on you." It is manipulation that I have never allowed in my lifetime. Keep in mind also that religion plays a part in this as well. People believe it is our jobs to "replenish the earth."

@DenoPenno Well, I need to be honest. About 10 years after that, I was married (to someone else) and we were trying to have children. It didn't work out for 'reasons', but at that point, it was a conscious choice. The thing is, I never allowed myself to be pressured by anyone.

@KKGator My ex wanted children but I'm too old for that and I knew I would end up raising the child.

4

Everyone is bat-shit crazy. People fear death and think they will live on in their spawn. That and the pre-conceived notion of never being able to be alone and the perception of being loved forever.

3

I don't know, but it is annoying and very detrimental. It just goes along with the conservative mindset of keeping everybody in their place

3

If I could do it over, I wouldn't have any. I love my son but it has not been easy, still supporting him. The world is too fucked up to bring another person into it I think. Its selfish.

Having a kid is selfish. How could anyone justify bringing a child into this shitty world?

@shockwaverider My sentiments exactly!

2

Remember your teens? Remember when every cell in your body DEMANDED sex? It's a biological drive first and THEN societal pressure.

2

Slaves have to reproduce in order to maintain slavery.

2

My oldest is not my biological son which surprises anyone who finds out. We are much alike, but I came into his life at 16 months. The next two, come a few years later and although my now ex wife agreed I got a vasectomy which she later complained about. I love my kids, but three is easier than five. Oh, my ex kept me around a lot longer than may have happened. She decided I shouldn't adopt the oldest so she could collect money and then later used my love for him as a wedge - you will never see him again, just his siblings. I put no pressure on my kids and at this point expect no grandchildren. I am perfectly fine with that. Now that I'm divorced I thought about adopting my 37year old. He says save my money, he knows who his real dad is. I am very proud of my kids; Not only do they love each other, they like one another, even taking vacations together.

I'm sorry this happened to you and VERY GLAD your son understands!

2

I think it probably stems from our biological conditioning for the survival of the species.
Of course Christopher Hitchens did also touch on the idea that children are the only shot he had at a second life let alone an immortal one.

Christopher Hitchens was amazing!!!

@EmeraldJewel (Always wanted to have dinner with him....)

2

I don't hate the idea of China's law of one only. I know there is much more to it, but what in the world is the point of having a handful of kids. Or 10, or more!!! I had a friend in school who was one of 18 kids!!! What the hell. The parents offered no love or support, did not even come to graduation. I say that's bullshit. The world is overpopulated, too many people with too little, no or awful parenting and the circle of dysfunction is never ending.

2

As a little kid in the 60s I heard talk about the "population bomb," and I realized then that the world did not need me to have kids. Two hundred years ago it was necessary to produce farm hands to work the land and a large percentage could be expected to die young. Nowadays having kids is a luxury, not a necessity. In decades past I got not so much pressure as surprised reactions that I was opting to not have kids. It was as if the default setting on the white, educated, heterosexual, middle class, American male was always procreation. Now, with climate change nipping at our heels and civilization on the brink of agonizing change if not outright collapse, I think people look at my decision not to have kids in a different light. I certainly have no regrets.

2

We should be encouraged to have less not more....the planet is overpopulated. Unfortunately it is the religious this should directed at as they seem to have taken the biblical text “go forth and multiply” as a personal mission!

2

Seriously.
I've heard everything from "you'll change your mind" to "you're being selfish not having children".

Here's a dollar. Call the Dugards, and tell them to pretend 2 of their 19 kids are mine, and stop bugging me.

Angus Level 5 Aug 8, 2018
2

Because a lot of people can't wait to be grandparents. 😀

2

Because women are brainwashed to believe that they can't be complete humans without pooping out crotchfruit. It's not going to change until parents start handing their daughters briefcases and calculators instead of Barbies.

The religious brainwashing (Be fruitful AND multiply) is deeply ingrained.

Crotchfruit! I’m using that ASAP.

2

I think a big reason is because the foundation of this society is puritanical, and one of the main tenets is to "be fruitful and multiply".

2

It’s the prudish Christianity rearing it’s ugly head. And they want you to join their misery, lol!
?

Jimm Level 4 Aug 7, 2018
2

Because if people don't have kids then society will cease to exist at some point. Saying that...I don't want kids. lol

Why would that be a bad thing? Seems like we're heading for destruction anyway...

@shockwaverider Oh you know, preservation of humanity....blah blah blah...we're the best specifies ever... blah blah blah....the world can't go on without people. Just stupid stuff like that. hahaha. It's only a matter of time before people go extinct.

1

It may be a societal pressure but it is also a biological pressure. We would not exist without the drive to reproduce. Birth control has taken some of the guesswork out of the equation but that does not mean that there aren't psychological, biological and social consequences. Parents also instinctively want grandchildren and can add to that pressure. It is important. It is a choice but that doesn't mean that it has no effect beyond the individual.

1

Just say no. I did.l know it is different for women, but no one can force you. I believe family members pressuring their children to have children is just as wrong as forcing religion on them.

1

Because misery loves company.

1

I was never interested in having kids.

1

Misery loves company?

Sorry. My snark came out.

Procreation is a deeply programmed part of any species. Humans are the only animal that can choose to not procreate.

We are also the only animal that can verbalize that basic biological requirement. So when people choose to not have children others feel the need to interject.

A wordy way of saying people don’t mind their own business

1

I have never regretted being child free. I politely ignore the well meaning relatives who want me to reproduce.

1

I decided in my 20's that I never wanted children. I never understood the appeal, I don't find babies cute or appealing, and I sure never wanted to treat a child how I had been treated. I recall asking some of my friends parents, "If you could go back to before you had kids knowing what you know now, would you still have kids?". I got way more people saying no vs. yes.

It was a great decision for me. I had a very successful career which involved working a lot and traveling extensively. If I had kids I might still be in a bad marriage and/or still paying child support instead of being financially independent.

Some people might have tried to pressure me, but I was oblivious or blew them off. My older sisters had kids but I don't think my parents would have pestered me about kids anyway.

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