While I've experienced someone breaking up with me, I don't consider that "abandonment" .

But being smothered would be my choice. Too much of a good thing CAN be too much !

Wow, good question. Neither sounds good. I guess, just because I'm so introverted, being smothered seems a lot worse than being abandoned.

Smothering. With that said, I get that in the beginning of any relationship you are riding a wave of hormones and chemical reactions, but when the hormones come back down to a normal level...I want my "ME time" and I would hope my partner does to.

A bf once said, smother me in bed, abandon me in public. I can live with that.

Smothered.

Abandoners can stay gone; good riddance! They don't need any encouragement from me to get out of my life. Problem solves itself.

Smotherers tend to react badly when you tell them to back off. Drama city. Yuck.

Smothering...the introvert in me needs my own space and some quiet time to recharge every now and then.

Whenever I felt either, I was out of there.

Don't let yourself get smothered, for sure...

Been through both and neither are ideal. Good question. I’m pretty sure red flags would dictate communication on my behalf, the results of which would determine the direction of the relationship.

Being smothered.

-have never been smothered-except someone from college who had his hand on my knee at breakfast as I'm trying to eat my cereal-couldn't handle it-ended quickly. Abandonment hurts too.

Dealt with both, but only one of them hurts, and far less so these days - abandonment. Therefore I'll say it's the most concerning.

They are about equally as bad. I love snuggles time but to be smothered removes any desire to touch them. Abandoners hurt my feelings emensly

I have always had issues of abandonment, so am pretty needy in a relationship.

Being annoyed beyond my capacity to be civil.

Although I need my space, I like the cutesy stuff too much, but there is a time and place. Iv had the misfortune of having gfs who smother me in public, and not enough for me in bed.

I need my space

Smothered, need my space

Smothered.

Abandonment. Am an extrovert with the personal space of a cat who immediately arcs up anytime someone tries to control me, so being smothered has never been much of an issue. On the other hand being adopted and having been dropped in it from a great height where people have said you take care of this and don't worry about that as I'll deal with it, only to have them abandon me and leave me to sort it out, that plays on my mind more.

Smothering can make me nervous. It sometimes gives off a creepy vibe.

Honestly I tend to get both in a relationship. Lots of smothering early on, which for the most part is fine with me because I need a lot of intimacy especially with a new love interest, but I'm a huge introvert too so I need time to myself to recharge. Of course they tend to see that as me not being interested anymore, or possibly cheating, since we're not constantly on the phone or snuggling like at the very start, and then they cheat on me or abandon the relationship, or both. Then I'm ready for more intimacy but she's nowhere to be found. Abandonment hurts more for me because it usually includes cheating.

If I had to pick one, I’d say being smothered.

On second visit to the idea, it may come down to the definition and degree of "smothering." I don't think I've experienced the same level of smothering as some folks here, and therefore perhaps I'm ill equipped to understand how bad it can get?

Abandonment seemed easier to guesstimate, as it has only one degree, and a sharp one at that: finality.

Smothering and controlling. When my ex told me she rented an apartment, I went to Tractor Supply and bought the biggest two wheel hand truck they had and moved her sorry tail out!! And out she stayed. I divorced her!! Best move I ever made