Your BF is not agnostic. An agnostic, almost by def, doesn't need to win the argument. Nor do you.

What's wrong with having these arguments? Many arguments are cover for other things going on in the relationship. Stay objective and keep emotions out of the arguments. It's just a discussion.

Just like if you date a theist... Be respectful and actually listen to each other. Simple

Your Significant Other is more like a Diest. It sounds like does believe in god (little "g" ), but he doesn't understand much else. I may be over simplifying this, but for me an agnostic can not prove god is, and an atheist can not prove god isn't.

Obviously, the power of your question and predicament has prompted many responses. I read several, but not all, of them. Arguing over this issue can be many things-- fun, engaging, frustrating, illuminating, etc.

If I were in your position, looking back over my 53 years on earth, I would ask myself "how would we raise our children" I'm not trying to make any sort of sexist statement that you need to have children, but I'll share that I have one (quite amazing BTW, freshman in college, independent, feminist, doesn't listen to anything I say-- all the things i drilled into her). It could end up being an important question, as parents can be more adamant about what their children are taught than what they believe themselves.

Best of luck to you!

Well, what I appreciate about agnostics sometimes even more than atheists that is they say I don't know a lot and we don't know everything. There's a starting point. It makes me wonder how he defines god.

1. You're not going to change his beliefs. You can point things out to him but once you've done that you need to let him make his own mind up about things.

2. Understand that a lot of people want to be "culturally Christian" so as to fit in, and the pressure to do that in a Bible Belt environment is particularly strong. Again, he's going to do and say things that are comfortable for him and you need to respect his comfort zone (and you have a right that he respect yours, too).

3. Don't let your disagreement about things become confrontational. You have a relationship with this man which has nothing to do with religion and that's a valuable thing to work towards. In other words, don't pick a fight with him about religion. That's what door-to-door missionaries are for.

In order to really keep ths discussion open you HAVE to divest yourselves from the emotional investment in it. The mind is meant to think and reason out the answers. If you find your voice getting sqweeky stop and take time out - for days even. You can't think in a reasonable manner when you're all worked up.

Perhaps consider dating again, He is not into what you hold as your core

To me bei
ng agnostic does not mean leaving the door open for a sentient God with a kingdom in Heaven. It means leaving the door open for some power or agency, non sentient that impacts our existence or is beyond are ability to comprehend at this time. I feel it would be arrogant not to acknowledge limits in are abilities and understanding.

I say strangle him and sacrifice his body to satan.

He doesn't sound agnostic. He probably just says it just because he wants to be with you and is willing to lie in order to do so.

why do you have to go there at all - I mean the place where you both choose to knock your heads on the same old, same old .I'd make a pact not to talk about religion or lack of it and make a relationship based on all the things that you have in common and strengthen that. if oyu love him stay with him if you dont, leave. But it sounds like you're making a relationship based completely on a negative . If any of my friends believes in a sky god I let them, and pass myself it isn't my business. I have many religious friends and as long as we don't have boring conversations about our positions - what odds.

Well, Your BF doesn't seem like even a real agnostic. I consider myself an agnostic atheist. That is 2 totally different things. Atheism states that, usually for reasons of lack of proof, that one doesn't believe in a god or gods (& quite often the supernatural in general). Agnostic states that one has no knowledge about a particular stance or belief. One is a belief, the other is "knowledge". It can be a fine line, I realize, but there is a difference. I have no knowledge regarding a god & therefore have no belief. Many theists may be agnostic theists, & just believe, some believe they are gnostic theists, which is dubious, at best. & there are even gnostic atheists, & I think that is a bit of a stretch also, because I don't see how the "god" question has a knowledge basis on one side or the other. I think it is far more likely that no god exists, but I cannot state unequivocally that such is the case. I have no proof, just a lot of observations that make me lean to un-belief!

I don’t know if this gets to the nature of the issue at hand. But I have a family member who once bought me an audio bible on CD disk. I still couldn’t get through the entire thing. But it makes it a lot more digestible when you can just drop in every time you have to go the the post office or on the way to work.

Skip over the lack of logic, and examine if his beliefs help him be a better person.

Life can be meaningful, even with religion.

Avoid this kind of conversations.

My first question for you is, do you feel respected by your boyfriend? If you continue to be an an atheist, will he respect your decision to the extent that the two of you can agree to disagree? If not, and without mutual respect, you are engaging in a relationship that will be prone to failure and to repetitive cycles of unproductive conflict.

You just have to avoid talking about anything to do with religion. You can have fun together, have sex (protected) and go out on dates. But a long-term serious relationship is going to be very difficult. I am 64, a dedicated atheist for 5 years and was disabled in a car accident 30 years ago. My "boy" friend is 70 and became a not so dedicated Mormon about 20 years ago shortly after he became disabled. We have a ton of friends in the disabled community but NEVER talk about religion. I guess being as young as you are and serious about your relationship it will be impossible to avoid talking about religion. Good luck in working things out.

Why not celebrate your differences? It would be truly boring if we were all the same. The only thing you seem to be in disagreement over is the possibility that a god or gods exist.

There's a lot of religion that's provably ridiculous. The Garden of Eden. The ark story. Young Earth Creationism. But surely the point of whether some external influence created the universe and the first spark of life within it is pretty much moot this far down the line.

I don't see how you can make this a rift in a relationship any more than a preference for strawberry jam over marmalade.

I see plenty of evidence that there is no benevolent God supervising this world at this point, and nothing to support the notion that there is one. But to deny the origin of the universe, when all that exists are theories to explain it? That's a big leap for me. I think it's perfectly reasonable for different people to have different ideas.

I'm married to a believer. His reaction when I first told him I was an atheist was that he just couldn't wrap his head around it. He is not a churchgoer, however, nor does he act like most Christians. It rarely even comes up. I think he just likes the idea of a god and a heaven. He will say a short prayer at special meals, and sometimes I say it, only not to God, just a blessing or a hope for blessings. We worked it out by giving each other room to believe as we do. I don't think this would work at all if he was trying to get me to go to church or "get right with God" or whatever, but he has never tried to bend me to his way. If anything, I have tried to tell him why my way makes more sense. It's crazy. We just love each other, going on 40 years and it just doesn't come up that much. At one point I thought to ask him if he wanted last rites or a religious funeral when he dies. Just in case it's him that goes first. He said yes he probably wanted the last rites, but no he doesn't want a church funeral. And about 25 years ago he showed up with a small crèche to add to our Christmas decorations. Every year I get it out, along with all the fun, pagan stuff I enjoy, and find a spot for it. I think of it symbolically and don't get hung up on why I'd rater not have it. If you love each other and he isn't going to turn into a nutcase about it, you can certainly get past this difference. If he wakes up one day and decides to drag you to church, or gets angry with you for your atheism, those are deal breakers. But, you can let him have his doubts and his illusions as long as they don't do you harm. One thing I did was read the Bible and talk to him about the things I was reading as I read them. He listened and didn't try to defend, and I read and tried to pay as much attention to anything good as all the horrible stuff in there. It made for a good discussion, and he didn't have to slog through it. Good luck. It's hard to respect religion, but I have found that when it shows up in those I love, belief can be respected as long as it isn't used against me.

He doesn't sound agnostic. He's fooling himself or trying to please you by saying he is.

Since you love this guy then I would avoid the subject. He knows how you feel and that is now with him to think about. For some of us it takes time to come around (decades in my case). Since he is not a bible basher, then why don't you just enjoy yourselves in all of the wonders that you have before you - friends, music, nature etc. etc. (it's a long list!). Unless his religious beliefs are a real impediment to your relationship, then I would just get on with living.

that doesn't sound like hes agnostic at all lol

Religious conversation are often challenging at the best of times, being agnostic, it's conversations I prefer too avoid.

I understand why he defends it so, all though he really doesn't understand it. it's his blue print, his values. our values are handed down to us by our parents and grand parents, society plays a smaller role. we all defend our values sometimes literally to the death. We rarely ever sit down and examine these values and ask ourselves do they still make sense to me. We don't write out our values the values that make sense to us today. get him to do this with you it will be an eye opener for both of you.