When something bad happens and someone says "everything happens for a reason", what us your response?
I just got mad asking that question.
"shit happens". The reason may be over my paygrade. But I feel you. Sooner or later I had to bring up about 4, 5 days before xmas... because my sister lost husband on November she wanted no part of putting any xmas decoration of any kind, no lights etc, She donated all decorations and xmas trees to Goodwill warehouse. She lives in suburbia near an army base. Neighbor across the street thought that she forgot and that it was in good will to bring her a xmas decoration for the door. Thursday night before xmas I think bringing the decoration gift she tripped in the driveway and broke her glasses, scratching her face, knocking at the door bleeding with decoration in hand. Such an unexpected situation and so out of character for a benevolent supreme being. We put up in the door the decoration but reminded us that "Shit will Happen". And we don't know why.
A lot of good answers. In the past my response has probably been "I guess," in a dismissive tone, but next time I'll probably say, "not A reason, multiple" because I agree with the concept, but the proposition that there is a plan that we don't know about isn't helpful.
I don't say anything. But I believe they have it the wrong way around. Everything that is, is because of infinite things that have happened or not happened. Some things cause others to happen, but there is no reason involved, just physics. My "dumber" ecology students make comments about how amazing it is that plants know how to make their leaves grow a certain way to trap and direct water, reduce evaporation and so on. Trying to explain to them it was just random chance, but those that mutate an advantage have a better chance of surviving and passing their dna down the generations.
AAAargh! That's another one of those hollow, meaningless statements people always say because they aren't intelligent enough to make normal conversation, but still like to hear themselves talk. The worst of these is "It is what it is". When people say things like that to me it's usually a red-flag as to the kind of controlling personality they have...
I concur with you, on all your posts...love your love of parenting, n your honesty is a huge turn on... I'm verging on " enamored "!
I suggest: report uncomfortable enamorement...to admins,
You are simply the gem of gems herein, and I hope your happiness grows!
Presumably, what you are implying in your question is that those who say that things happen "for a reason" are referring to some Grand Plan, formulated by the gods (or "God" ), and that we should not necessarily view the unfortunate experience negatively. Is that correct? There are many old Chinese (often Taoist) proverbs that give examples of why that may be so; however, if you're not Chinese (or Taoist, or perhaps Bhuddist), the concept may seem aggravating. As far as I'm concerned, everything happens for no reason, and for every reason. You can give these occurrences meaning, and therefore reason, or not, and therefore, no reason. It's up to you.
They just need something to say. I don't say that to anyone who had something bad happen. Especially when it's something horrible like someone being killed or dying from a disease etc. How the hell can you tell someone who just lost a loved one that it happened for a reason?