Keep the good memories, forget the rest.

Welcome to the "family values", not club. Last, April I met my daughter and her family for a few days in Portland. Her mother was supposed to be there, but mysteriously wasn't. My daughter had told me mom has changed but later told me that she had told my granddaughter that I divorced her on her birthday (in actuality she had started the divorce proceedings (she was in Bakersfield and I in Germany) and I had started the separation process - it was on her birthday. The point is that continue to hear these stories/lies from my former to anyone who would listen. I told my daughter it is very bad form for parents to bad mouth the other in front of the kids (it's a ploy to reduce their own guilt and/or pull the kids closer to them). However, I also said I reserve the right to defend myself and I often have proof. Obviously she has not changed and this may have something to do with her conveniently not meeting me in Portland.

That’s a good story, families can be interesting. Your daughter is lucky to have a classy mom.

You sacrificed to make your daughter's day special for her no matter what anyone, her father, did that could have ruined it. I'm not a parent, but it seems to me that you did what good parents do. And your daughter is in love! Congrats! Get some rest and feel better soon. Even if some people didn't notice your sacrifice, you sharing it here makes me admire you!

I believe sometimes it's because the person is wanting attention. Just went thru some crap with one of my daughter-in-laws after my husband past away in June. 3 weeks after he past, I was having a tough day and was crying when my phone rang. It was that daughter-in-law. She proceeded to question me about why was I still crying all the time????? I told her I wasn't feeling well and had caught a cold and was still missing Richard a lot. I told her at this point of my life I didn't think I would be looking at going back to work, but knew I would have to so I could pay my bills. I then said I don't want to talk and hung up. She immediately started her usual BS, and I made the decision to block her from my life until she apologizes to me for her horrible behavior. She told many people in my family lies about what I said to her and it's only gotten worse. I realized that she had been doing this crap for the 20 years she has been in my family. I told my son, "look, she either grows up and apologizes for her lies and ugly behavior, or I have nothing to do with her." She has never apologized for her behavior in the past, so I don't really expect one now. That is fine by me, as my stress level has gone way down since shutting her out. I still go to family get togethers, I just avoid her. Sometimes you simply have to buck up and say ENOUGH, and not allow ugly people to ruin what good is there in the rest of the family.

Once again, you survived the bad and moved on to the good...you were there for your daughter and it will be that which she remembers always. Glad you made it home safe and sound...must have been such a proud mom to see what a positive impact you had on your little girl...she turned out to be a charming and lovely young woman...like her mother. I am happy for you.

Your daughter sounds lovely and I am so glad you enjoyed the wedding. Forget about your ex. No need to think about him!

Venting is good for the soul. You've earned it Mom! I'm so glad Claire had a wonderful wedding and in the end that's all that really counts. I hope you found a way to have some fun too despite all...

I've always liked Claire, she's a good kid. Congrats on the marriage. Tell Terry to grow up and stop being such a tool.

It sounds like there was plenty of positive to focus on, and Claire sounds like a delight.

I think sometimes that why some families have to drink at every get together. They still backstab, bitch and fight but they laugh, hug and cry too.
I'm glad I no longer attend my ex's family gathering for that reason. Why hang out, when you despise each other's presence?

Some kids do listen, even when you think they don't. Sweet story too bad the ex is an ass. BUT he is the ex so remember the lovely moments and let the crap fade away.
You acted with class and I bet many from his side of the family miss you.

Just curious, where was the winery that temps dropped so low? Have not had any temps below 39 here in Ellensburg.

The biggest reason is looking for attention, or jealously that someone else is getting attention

fuck weddings are stressful parties sounds like you enjoyed it in the main and the ex will be remembered as the dick.Now on to important things did your hair survive all the dancing?

Because your family knows exactly how to get you to respond to their every act. They push you into acting in a way that suits their scenarios.

Since these things are usually played out over and over, make a plan on how to avoid the traps that will be laid. Stay centered in that resolve and you'll be treated to a real mind-altering show. The bi-product will be a learning experience and a peaceful gathering.

I had a lot of aunt's and uncles, the only difference between weddings and funerals was a dead person.
There was always someone that caused problems.
I'm glad all else went well.

I don't blame you; I hate wedding ceremonies and being forced to be around obnoxious relatives.

I had a destination wedding on the beach at a FL island bird sanctuary, in a ballroom gown I designed and sewed myself. Only a handful of close friends there and we ate afterward at a seafood restaurant on the beach.

Yay, congratulations! It seems like you raised a great daughter and you did it right. Oh, and unhappy people tend to bring their unhappiness with them wherever they go, the best one can do is in knowing that ahead you can try to limit the impact. It’s tough at weddings, your focus is right.

.thanks for the insight.You did set the
example to follow.

Maybe because of they feel comfortable being themselves as most everybody knows each other?

I take it he's your ex for all those bad behavioural reasons you listed?

The biggest reason is looking for attention, or jealously that someone else is getting attention.

Glad to hear there was so much good. So sorry to hear about the ex. Seems you made a wise decision to move on.

May your daughter and her husband experience a lifetime of love and joy.

You kind of explained why with the father. Narcissism often just entrenches itself into people it's inflicted on.

I avoid family events. Last one was mom's wake. I love my mom but family. Uncle norm was there and his stuck up kids. Love Norm but his 2 kids. Wedding last ones i been i was a hired gun. Wow i just realize my fave niece did not invite me to hers