I noticed this trend in the Plenty of Fish dating website Profile Review forum, with young guys who ask for help because they get no replies to their messages.
Over 90 percent of these dateless guys called themselves "sarcastic."
Sarcasm is defined as:
“Sarcasm is really just hostility disguised as humor,” said Clifford N. Lazarus, Ph.D.
“If you want to be happier and improve your relationships, cut out sarcasm since sarcasm is actually hostility disguised as humor. Despite smiling outwardly, most people who receive sarcastic comments feel put down and usually think the sarcastic person is a jerk.”
(“Think Sarcasm is Funny? Think Again.” by Clifford N. Lazarus, Ph.D., Think Well, June 26, 2012.)
"Perhaps young men aspire to be like “the meathead clowns floating through the films of today,” said Linda Holmes in “Bad News, Men: You’re Not Very Charming” in The Atlantic on May 28, 2013.
Why do young men think sarcastic humor is positive? Your thoughts?
Just say in your profile that you don't like sarcasm which should weed out people like me. I say in my profile that if you don't like sarcasm we won't be a match and I mean it. Sincerely, not sarcastically.
I like sarcasm, always have. Yes it can be mean or hostile but it is also an integral part of witty banter. Some people find it offensive. Some don't get it right away, if at all, and therefore feel left out or stupid. But for me, it's fun and a normal part of banter. So it isn't just young guys, many women and men of all ages like it. To say it is all bad is an incorrect gross generalization.
I'm sarcastic all the time, and I think I manage to treat people generally quite politely and with respect. When I'm sarcastic, it's often in the form of self-depecating humor or situational irony, and rarely aimed at others unless I know them well or I'm trying to build rapport through gentle, tongue-in-cheek gibes. I see nothing wrong with sarcasm unless it's masked aggression aimed to wound another person. For me, that's never the intent. It may be a defense mechanism, though, to never take anything too seriously or at face value, and I've been known to deflect compliments with sarcastic self-deprecation. Maybe that's a bad thing, but I've been doing it for 20+ years, it's generally well received, and I can't imagine changing my sense of humor after it's been such an integral part of my personality for so long.
I guess I am a member of an outlying group. While I do at times find sarcasm offensive ( and have been it's recipient numerous times on this site), I rather enjoy it when it is done intelligently. I'm sure my comment is loaded with rationalization because I also use it, but not as a means of inducing pain or discomfort, rather I use it as a means of producing thought and response. I joined this site in part because I was becoming I'll with the controlled diplomacy I was exercising with people who were making horrid decisions politically. I despise trump, believe him to be truly evil and I do not believe a truly cpasdionaye or ethical thinking human being can truly justify supporting him. But I also despise politically correct cowardice and I think mysarcadm is in a sense a rebellion against this. So while I will probably modify, I will not stop with the sarcasm.
There is different sarcasm. It's not always an insult and it can be aimed at topics, objects, and not people etc.
It's almost like the PC discussion. There is such a thing as being an asshole and/or just being open and honest talking about certain issues without insults.
The amount of generalities about this on here are astounding.
Some people are just assholes who use sarcasm in a different way. Sarcasm isn't necessarily a negative thing. It's how it's used. Someone here said it was an excuse for one guy to just say anything demeaning towards women. His issue is much deeper and it's not mutually exclusive with sarcasm. Non-assholes of both genders can use sarcasm without insults or demeaning someone.
Maybe they don't think it's positive. Maybe they are just describing themselves, looking for someone who will accept them as they are. Isn't that what we should be doing? Is it about pretending to be someone who you aren't so that you will get dates?
I think the author of the article is misguided in trying to apply the dictionary definition of sarcasm to those who would say they have a sarcastic sense of humor. People like George Carlin, Patton Oswalt, John Stewart and John Oliver used and continue to use sarcasm all the time as a main staple of their comedy. It is the life blood of satire and social commentary. People who shrink away at the mention of the word are people I would just as soon choose to avoid anyway, so they're doing me a solid. The writer of the HuffPo article comes off as a delicate snowflake in need of a safe space
Amazing. Been married 35 years. Sarcasm is a staple of our mutual humor.
I concede that our years of silliness provide a basis for understanding the sarcastic remarks.
Yet, many of my friends share humor based upon sarcastic remarks.
I think the definitions stated above are not complete.
So, if a person gives you sarcasm give it back. Isn't that called flirting?
Ssarcasm is no more or less hostile than any other type of humor. Sarcasm is using irony to convey contempt for something. In some cases that contempt is deserved. The current administration, the Catholic church, our education system, evangelists in general are all fair game for contempt. Pretty much any authority figure or organization is an appropriate target.
The problem isn't sarcasm it's abusive individuals who degrade people under the guise of humor.
I am originally from New England. I grew up on dry humor and sarcasm. I love it. Never cruel. Always funny. It wasn’t until I was in my 40’s and lived in the Bible Belt that I often people around me did not “get” the jokes. Instead of understanding the irony of my words, they took my words as truth (verbatim). I was shocked that they didn’t understand. And I have always been proud of my sarcastic wit. I put it in my online dating profile and never had a problem dating...