Just the stuff in between, "in the begining" to "Amen".

I think we can just leave this at "The Bible".

Actually, it's pretty difficult to determine the most ridiculous story. What's the most laughable and terrifying at the same time is that people believe all of that bullshit.

When Moses tied his ass to a tree and walked 40 miles into town. Even Kim Kardashian couldn't do that.

"I realized a woman cannot be turned into salt," my mother said, explaining why she became an atheist in nursing school.

Bravo! Mom was raised Catholic, and attended Catholic schools through college.

i agree, although it's the talking snake that always makes me laugh.

g

I think the whole book is pretty fucking hilarious but i particularly like the part where God says killing is bad, and then he decides to murder everyone on the planet except for some old, drunk guy and his dumb ass family of desert dwellers. I also love the bit where God makes the foreskin on the penis but then decides his own creation sucks and it needs to be chopped off.

The amount of incest that would have taken place in both Adam's and Eve's family and in Noah's family, being held responsible for populating the planet.....

The story of Jephthah's daughter Judges 11:30-40
The arsehole who is tricked by god in to sacrificing his own daughter to god by god in exchange for helping him massacre of his enemies, then actually does it.

The burning bush that spoke to Moses. LSD wasn't invented until the 1930s!

Oh please - don't make me pick just one, when there are SO many !

And the LORD opened the mouth of the ass.

Say that in front of a room of 12 year olds.

ga hed'

The story of Noah, and how he built an ark with his family and then filled it with two of every kind of animal. LOL ?

Acts 20:8-10 King James Version (KJV)
8 And there were many lights in the upper chamber, where they were gathered together.

9 And there sat in a window a certain young man named Eutychus, being fallen into a deep sleep: and as Paul was long preaching, he sunk down with sleep, and fell down from the third loft, and was taken up dead.

10 And Paul went down, and fell on him, and embracing him said, Trouble not yourselves; for his life is in him.

I like the one about the donkey talking. It isn't as good as the one that took Muhammad to heaven but it is funny.

Moses Getting the10 Commandments most of which are common sense.

I think some of the most laughable parts of Christianity don't necessarily come from the Bible, but from interpretations of the Bible by some Christians. One guy for another forum was convinced that a description from Ezekiel of gyroscopes was proof of aliens. He was also convinced that Bigfoot was real and the reason we couldn't find any solid evidence for it was that God was holding it in reserve for some role during the apocalypse. A TV preacher I heard a very long time ago (like the 1970's) was interpreting Revelations and the return of Jesus. The passage he read said that everyone would witness Jesus' return, and so he reasoned that the only way this could happen was if the whole earth turned inside out and the surface of the earth would face some great cavernous center where Jesus could return and all the world could see him all at the same time.

The omnipotent desert god was impotent when faced with iron chariots... Judges 1: 19.

The whole creation thing..

Onan.

The Bible, a great story. Plenty of sex, drugs, violence and the good guys win in the end.

Ummm let's see...

1. there was day and night before it "invented" the sun
2. It needed a rib to make a woman even though he could create the whol fucking universe without anaything
3. Balaam with his ass, his talking ass!
4. Jonah living in a whale
5. It saying he was responsible for all the good and all the evil. Placing an evil snake in the garden who is as smart as god - and blaming Eve for eating an apple.
6. an Arc, holding 7 each of every clean animal and 2 each unclean animal and & of every bid, and the Boat held all the animals, bird, insects etc AND all their food.

Shall I go on?

Just for info, Monty Python did lampoon ancient church views of Onanism in the song "Every sperm is sacred" from their film The Meaning of Life. This is followed by the condom sketch which is also very funny, well observed and well worth watching.

Apparently the bible claims there's this guy who's an omniscient, omnipotent, all-powerful, unseen superbeing who can command time, space and dimension with nothing more than a wave of his hand or even just a random thought. He's ageless, timeless, eternal, and perfect in every way.

Riiiiiight.