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Need help on Christmas (Ugh, I know) Present

Ok. I come seeking counsel, once again.

I've been seeing this wonderful woman for about a week. Things are going very well, and it seems that she is going to stick around with me for some time.

So... come December 25th, it is highly likely we will still be together, and I totally, absolutely, unequivocally SUCK at buying Christmas gifts. The only such gifts that I have ever been good at picking is for my daughter, and it is ONLY because she gives me a long list of things that I can choose from. She of course circulates the list to all family members...

But I am uncertain as to what might be a good and appropriate gift for this new woman in my life. She is a reader, loves sci fi, and British comedy, drinks bourbon and scotch, all the things that I like. But not sure what I should get her...... (oh, and I want to rule out anything too obviously sexual and/or lovey-dovey)

At least I am planning ahead. Need your wisdom, counsel and advice.

Thanks, my unpaid dating consultants!

P.S. She is also an atheist. Recovering catholic like myself. I am pretty certain that she celebrates it the same way I celebrate it. Non-religiously. So assume for the sake of this question that it is appropriate for me to get her a present. So, "nothing" will not be a very helpful or relevant answer. smile001.gif

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If she wears jewellery or suchlike a bangle. It’s personal and unobtrusive and says ‘special’. Don’t get anything written on it


Why not find an interesting bourbon and buy her a bottle (with two glasses if you've got the $)? I wouldn't, however, suggest you share it. Let her make that suggestion.


She will love whatever you give her. Women love gifts!! I know I do!!!


Does she have a wish list on Amazon? Things that are a big no-no: lingerie, appliances, (unless they're on her Amazon wish list) or perfume (again, unless you know for a fact she wants a specific scent.) If you get jewelry, a simple pendant of some sort is nice, or an elegant chain. Don't buy a ring unless you are ready to negotiate a change in the relationship. and NO, repeat NO, homemade "coupons!"

Deb57 Level 7 Dec 12, 2018

Thank you. I've already got something for her. And it is consistent with your advice!


I know it’s daft, her birthstone set in a silver necklace ( white gold if you have loads of filthy lucre).Probably better as a birthday present thinking about it , so a piece of amber with an inclusion or two , again set in silver ..... looks great !

Hebert54 Level 7 Nov 26, 2018

Add some stocking stuffers like DVD's of Monty Python, Mr Bean and such.


Think about something that celebrates the two of you...something to remind her of how you met, or a special place you visited together, or even a great conversation you two had.

That or get her candles LOL. I recommend Yankee Candle out of Deerfield MA because they're soooooooooooo perfect! smile009.gif


I say keep it simple. You want her to like you for the little things. May I suggest a scarf or a vase of flowers? Ask her indirectly, "What kind of flowers do you recommend that I buy for my office? What kind would you buy for yours?" BAM! Next! CHOCOLATES with bourbon!

I am so happy for you, Ken! Get 'er done! lol

Lol! Thanks!


I have a few ideas as few ideas considering some of the things you mentioned are very near and dear to my heart. You will have to do a little home work to see if she is already has of been exposed to them and if she is into the things you says she is she should be familiar if not already into them. My ideas concern the First go to the British and SciFi. Douglas Adams- "Hitch Hikers Guide to the Galaxy" Series, ask how much she knows about that. If she is a fan or if she is interested you can expand by betting her more of that (5 books in series) AND "Salmon of Doubt" his final work a must for (posthumous) avid fans also "Dirk Gently -Holistic Detective Agency" , all Adams, all British humor and Science Fiction AND Totally AWESOME. Also top shelf whiskey and bourbon mini samplers are always a good go to. Bullieit. Jack Daniels, Around Christmas i always see 4 or 6, there are rarely a bad one to be found and most have a special holiday minis that are only available once a years.


All excellent suggestions! Thanks!


Hummingbird Feeder if she likes birds. smile009.gif

A nice glass one doesn't cost a mint and looks very thoughtful particularly if she does have a good place to put one.

I have the simple sugar recipe if you go that way. Just Granulated Sugar and water.

RavenCT Level 9 Nov 20, 2018

small gift cards to a book store. or Netflix or both.. with a couple of lottery tickets. and maybe a bottle of scotch? and a cute christmas decoration

AmmaRE007 Level 7 Nov 20, 2018

You guys fucking rock! I know I am going to look good thanks to you!

You got this, Ken!


I would go with a book or something book related.

Paracosm Level 8 Nov 20, 2018

My go-to gift for women for whom I have no idea what else to get them is a scarf to wrap around the neck for cold weather. They are even popular in Sothern California (what cold?).Get that and a book by a atheist and liberal female author. That or tickets to a theatrical production of something that SHE would like to see. And, as you mentioned, a bottle of single malt Scotch is always there if all else but I am still voting for the scarf.

OCJoe Level 6 Nov 20, 2018

Huh. Theater tickets! That will also make me look classy!

@KenChang an older woman, I would much prefer experiences or consumables rather than STUFF...


Find out if she has an e-reader. If so, a gift card or whatever for ebooks. If not (and she's not a technophobe), maybe a Kindle or Nook--but these can be dicey, even for avid reader, so I'd ask first. Or maybe just a general GC to Barnes and

SciFi is a broad catagory, so I wouldn't just latch onto any author, universe, fandom, etc. If it were me, I'd be tickled pink by a nice hardbound edition--or set--of some classic in my wheelhouse. The Playboy anthology is pretty smashing, actually (short stories).

She told me she likes paper books. I am a Kindle person. Some cool hardbound actually sounds great. Need to listen more carefully as to what she might actually like. Thanks!


After only a week, I wouldn't be counting my chickens before they hatch.

You might want to concentrate on learning who she is - something she says may guide you.

evergreen Level 8 Nov 20, 2018

Ugh. You mean I have to actually pay attention? I am joking. Lol! Yes. Thank you. Great advice.


I think a bunch of of smaller gifts can be fun! A good book, a good movie and maybe some bourbon or scoth.

AArealist Level 4 Nov 20, 2018

Yup. I was actually thinking this. Thanks for confirming!


Nerd jewellery! DNA coil earrings, a pendant of her favourite compound (like caffeine, or ethanol, or dopamine etc.). You can get rings made from iron nickel meteorites that are etched to bring out the funky cross hatched alloy grain. Ammonite fossils make lovely pendants, too.

Unless he knows it will be appreciated, I wouldn't. Personally I detest jewelry as presents as I'm extremely choosy on what I own/wear. She may be the same way.

Lol! Sounds like fun gifts though!

Personally, I'm not a fan of jewelry. I have a jewelry box full of it, and never wear any of it except on rare/special occasions.
In a new relationship, gifts of jewelry can be misconstrued, and should probably be avoided. Even if she has specifically said she likes a particular piece, I would advise purchasing something else. Especially when you're only a one week in.


Can't go wrong with a nice bottle of bourbon, or scotch.

KKGator Level 9 Nov 20, 2018

Thanks. I was thinking that it might be too obvious.... this shall be my default, yes. Thanks!

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