Is it possible to fall in love with someone with opposing political views? I was asked this question today and found it rather difficult to answer and dependent upon the definition of 'love'.
My mother was a Southern Baptist Republican and my dad was an athiest socialist and I never heard them even have cross words with one another until I was 18. I was so shocked when dad raised his voice a bit at mom I feared a divorce was imminent but that was the last of it (at least in the presence of us kids) until they got old and mom had to nag dad to basic tasks when he would forget. We had as happy a house as anyone I ever heard of. They had been married over 60 years when dad died. It is possible as this illustrates but I don't think I could have done it.
I think it's possible for me as long as the person is kind and compassionate. I have a very divided family politically and nastiness can come from both sides really, but so can kindness, humility, and compassion. I've dated on both sides of the isle. But there does need to be a level of compatibility for small differences to work.
Yes, but it depends how verbal they are about it.
There is someone I won't ever take seriously because they're batshit crazy with their ideas. "Commie this, commie that" , socialism this, socialism that." So they're friendzone.
Late dh in his one issue youthful voter cluelessness voted for GW in '00. I cried.
"it's just an election" he said.
Boy did he regret it every time W opened his mouth.
As a democratic liberal atheist, there are certain viewpoints that, no matter what, I would never find attractive (pro-life, anti-lgbtqi+, etc.). I don't mind listening to or befriending someone with those viewpoints, but I just would not be able to see them in a positive light in terms of dating.
As a woman, no. If they think it is right that the government have any say over my bodily autonomy, then I will never respect enough to love. If they think that a persons job defines who they are, or their level of money, or their orientation, basically if they think something superficial has any bearing on another persons worth, I could never respect them enough to love them. If they want to cry 'personal responsibility' while not holding corporations responsible for their behavior, I could never respect enough to love. Nutshell, no.
It's possible to be romantically attracted to anyone with whom you have that base-level chemistry. But once that starts to fizzle and reality settles in, I think that for the most part, you have to be bound by similar values and ethics—morals, if you will. Political affiliation used to not be so closely aligned with core values. In fact, there was a time when the only difference between Republicans and Democrats was that the former were more fiscally conservative—it was just business. Times have indeed changed.
I suppose it's possible to spend a life with someone, as long as you were in a highly traditional, gender-roled marriage in which the little missus kept her mouth shut about such things and voted the way her husband voted, regardless of how she felt about it. But for couples who marry because they love each other ...?
I don't see how it would be possible for me to love someone who chortled and thumbs-upped after a seven-year-old Guatemalan child died in U.S. custody. Or who championed illegal, destructive, racist behavior by the leaders of our land.
It's possible for some people but not possible for myself. I have to respect the person I'm involved with. If there are key disagreements about core issues how society deals with income inequality, women's reproductive rights, LGBTQ rights, sexism, racism and things like gun control, that's not someone I can love. It's not your child where you are (hopefully) with them for life no matter what.
Yeah, what's the definition of "love"? I think most people fall in "lust" first because how could you possibly "love" someone until you really get to know them? the verbiage "fall in love" indicates(to me anyway) a reaction that occurs very early on when two people get together. So, I think two people who fall in "lust" with each other will put up with(ignore actually) political differences for a while, until their lust is sated. but eventually, one, the other, or both will be confronted with a wtf moment and have to make a decision. In today's political climate in America, the schism between conservatives and liberals being so great, I think MOST politically divided couples will fail.
For me I'm pretty sure the answer is NO. I consider political views to be a deal maker or breaker.
Some of my best friends are Republicans (not really - while it isn't a friendship deal breaker it does make it much harder. ) but I sure as hell wouldn't be able to marry one.