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Is it possible to fall in love with someone with opposing political views?

Is it possible to fall in love with someone with opposing political views? I was asked this question today and found it rather difficult to answer and dependent upon the definition of 'love'.

By Grumpy
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58 comments

7

My mother was a Southern Baptist Republican and my dad was an athiest socialist and I never heard them even have cross words with one another until I was 18. I was so shocked when dad raised his voice a bit at mom I feared a divorce was imminent but that was the last of it (at least in the presence of us kids) until they got old and mom had to nag dad to basic tasks when he would forget. We had as happy a house as anyone I ever heard of. They had been married over 60 years when dad died. It is possible as this illustrates but I don't think I could have done it.

oosbray Level 4 Nov 23, 2018
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I had a similar situation growing up.

5

As a woman, no. If they think it is right that the government have any say over my bodily autonomy, then I will never respect enough to love. If they think that a persons job defines who they are, or their level of money, or their orientation, basically if they think something superficial has any bearing on another persons worth, I could never respect them enough to love them. If they want to cry 'personal responsibility' while not holding corporations responsible for their behavior, I could never respect enough to love. Nutshell, no.

CommonHuman Level 6 Nov 22, 2018
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4

Yes, but it depends how verbal they are about it.
There is someone I won't ever take seriously because they're batshit crazy with their ideas. "Commie this, commie that" , socialism this, socialism that." So they're friendzone.

Late dh in his one issue youthful voter cluelessness voted for GW in '00. I cried.
"it's just an election" he said.
Boy did he regret it every time W opened his mouth.

Qualia Level 8 Nov 22, 2018
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4

Right now I'd be more likely to date someone who identifies as religious than Republican.

pashaonenine Level 6 Nov 22, 2018
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4

As a democratic liberal atheist, there are certain viewpoints that, no matter what, I would never find attractive (pro-life, anti-lgbtqi+, etc.). I don't mind listening to or befriending someone with those viewpoints, but I just would not be able to see them in a positive light in terms of dating.

Wenepai Level 4 Nov 22, 2018
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3

I could never. For me, it's a question of values. One of the first things I look for in a partner is compassion for others. If I don't see it, pretty much right away, I'm already outta there.

Spudnut Level 7 Nov 30, 2018
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I cannot support greedy partisans on any political spectrum. ..I could never love a taker only a giver

3

Yes of course, but then it's not wise. It would be better if it was a case of supporting rival teams, not politics.

graciousme-2 Level 4 Nov 27, 2018
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Yes I shall love your team if you love my team unless playoffs trophies are on the line

@GreenAtheist I think it's easier said than done lol
When it's sports time, the rivalry is real haha

@graciousme-2 I agree
Go Leafs Go!!

3

Why not? Alas if we only loved people who are similar to us...

tsallinia Level 3 Nov 23, 2018
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3

It's possible for some people but not possible for myself. I have to respect the person I'm involved with. If there are key disagreements about core issues how society deals with income inequality, women's reproductive rights, LGBTQ rights, sexism, racism and things like gun control, that's not someone I can love. It's not your child where you are (hopefully) with them for life no matter what.

PalacinkyPDX Level 7 Nov 23, 2018
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3

As time goes on, and the country becomes more and more polarized, such a match seems less and less likely !

evergreen Level 8 Nov 22, 2018
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3

I could not date a conservative at all, probably not even a middle of the road person politically unless politics was not very important to them.

TomMcGiverin Level 5 Nov 22, 2018
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2

For a great comic analysis of this question I recommend "Let Me Count the Ways" by the underrated US novelist Peter de Vries. Please read it!

Redcraze Level 4 Dec 4, 2018
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2

Yes it is, but you are building an inherently problematic aspect into the relationship. Kind of like dating someone who doesn’t want kids when you do. You can be in love, but there is a built in conflict

Myah Level 6 Dec 1, 2018
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2

Not for me.

Dragonfly1965 Level 5 Nov 26, 2018
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2

Not for me. We need to have the same values.

LiterateHiker Level 8 Nov 23, 2018
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2

Not sure how that is possible. If you believe the opposing view is degrading and destroying society/country, how could you have faith and trust in a person with those same views.

I could never have a relationship with a leftist, just as I could never have a relationship with a christian.

Veteran229 Level 7 Nov 22, 2018
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2

For 27 years,my late wife and I voted for opposite parties,she always said our votes canceled each other out.Politics were never discussed in our home.

Mike1947 Level 7 Nov 22, 2018
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1

I think it's possible for me as long as the person is kind and compassionate. I have a very divided family politically and nastiness can come from both sides really, but so can kindness, humility, and compassion. I've dated on both sides of the isle. But there does need to be a level of compatibility for small differences to work.

Holodeck30 Level 4 Dec 6, 2018
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I agree

1

In true love, such little differences doesn't even bother, rather you enjoy all the bantering of the differences.

Insane_God Level 4 Dec 6, 2018
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1

Yeah, what's the definition of "love"? I think most people fall in "lust" first because how could you possibly "love" someone until you really get to know them? the verbiage "fall in love" indicates(to me anyway) a reaction that occurs very early on when two people get together. So, I think two people who fall in "lust" with each other will put up with(ignore actually) political differences for a while, until their lust is sated. but eventually, one, the other, or both will be confronted with a wtf moment and have to make a decision. In today's political climate in America, the schism between conservatives and liberals being so great, I think MOST politically divided couples will fail.

aintmisbehaven Level 4 Dec 4, 2018
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Well said!

1

I think it depends on the issue and on how extreme the views are.

Piratefish Level 7 Dec 1, 2018
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Agreed

1

Yes but I'll admit, if I were single, I might not marry my husband again.

SophieSquirrel Level 4 Nov 27, 2018
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1

Yup. My wife is a staunch republican. I'm an independent.

celticagent Level 7 Nov 27, 2018
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1

Its certainly possible, but may not be wise.

Cleave Level 1 Nov 26, 2018
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1

Of course it’s possible. But, you do need some common interests, common values and compatible habits.

Rob1948 Level 5 Nov 23, 2018
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