No, I agree. It’s just between scheduling and kids and work, I almost need a spreadsheet to keep up with the people in my life. Those spaces are valuable. Just figuring out the sweet spot for who gets my psychic energy and who gets deleted. There seems to be no in between.

@brainyactress Is there any reason to think a guy isn't just as short on time? We never really know what's going on in someone's life, sometimes even if we're in daily contact.

@bingst ??‍ S’why I’m asking.

@PalacinkyPDX That applies to both parties. And the time factor alone isn't the only thing involved.

No, no, Mr. Six Weeks didn’t get a response at all. Mr. six Days is a harder read.

@brainyactress I agree with that.. I opted for three days as the cut off for me. I’m too old for games. You either want to see me again or you don’t. Im very pragmatic like that.

Nobody should tolerate being on a date list or little black book...2 timer triple timing hareem hoarder is a germ typhoid Mary waiting to infest all of us

@GreenAtheist Huh?

@brainyactress respectful dating is not silent or evasive

Seems like it sometimes... if only I didn’t love men so much.

@brainyactress I know! it sucks doesn't it!

@Kojaksmom That women still love and desire men is proof that sexuality is not a choice.

@brainyactress With all the games women play these days, it goes both ways.....

@TomMcGiverin it does, we know

You’d think not but as much as I hate to admit it, men hate it. I wish they didn’t.

@brainyactress Really? Just a "Hi, the night was nice, thank you."?

@Pedrohbds Again, I wish it weren’t true. I made those sentiments known as we parted. As did he.

You’d think so but as much as I hate to admit it, men hate it. I wish they didn’t. I used to totally pursue whenever I wanted. Men have taught me not to.

@brainyactress Hmmm. I'm feel like I am always the one to initiate.

@Dandewine I used to be. What I’ve learned is that if I back way the hell off and give no pursuit at all besides being kind and polite as called for, they treat me so much better.

@brainyactress I am not saying call many times. Just one call is enough (after 2-3 days). If he still doesn't call, then move on.

Your comment pretty much nails it.

I’m expecting him to reach out because he said he would. I don’t expect to move in with him. Gosh, y’all!

@brainyactress Unfortunately, there are a lot of people who will just tell you what they think you want to hear rather than be honest.

On the other hand, if you're truly interested you've got to be authentic about it or risk losing out, right?

well, if you really liked the date, you are only restricting yourself with all these thoughts! I mean why him contacting first gotta be the only determining fact if he's into you or not? There are literally thousands of ways to find that out even after you contact him.

I feel it's better to keep the control to yourself rather that falling at others mercy by passing the ball and wait! Live your nickname now, will ya?

He may have been busy or uncertain ... He texted. ... Now decide if you'll respond. ? glad he got back to you.

Therapists have told me we teach people how to treat us by what we allow them to do. If something bothets you, mention it. If it keeps happening, you'll have your answer.

@Shelton I think that when we let go of expectations we can then enjoy what is there

I take this a bit too far perhaps, and always assume Im going to be stood up. With this in mind I schedule meets for places I'd enjoy if I went alone. It makes sense to me.

@Hellas I had one person ditch me, I try to keep it convenient and simple. Of course that was the one time the meeting place was more complicated...It was upsetting.

I think I love you!

@RiverRick Awesome! I’m at the door.

Because he said he was going to and as much as I hate it, the slightest pursuit of a man before six dates always marks a lady as “not serious material.”

@brainyactress I must have missed that when I read the "Mandatory Rules of Dating Handbook".

@dahermit I used to pursue men whenever I wanted. Men have taught me not to. And, there’s a whole industry re: those dating books.

But how long do I give them to come back. That’s the question. At what point does my ship sail?

@brainyactress If it's not worth waiting for then it's not worth having.

@Nevermind345 If women waited like that for men, we would never stop waiting.

@maturin1919 Yeah - my parents were kind of absentee and I had no guidance. I was engaged at 16 and made a lot of bad choices back then.

Because he said he was going to and as much as I hate it, the slightest pursuit of a man before six dates always marks a lady as “not serious material.”

@brainyactress I wouldn't mind a mild pursuit by a woman, but I guess that means I'm not a typical man. At the same time, I don't lie or play games so if I said I would send my phone number I would have done so within 24 hours after the date. How much time has passed since this first date? I agree with the other poster that until I actually see someone the second time it's best to have little or no expectations that the second meeting or date is going to happen no matter what was said in person the last time because women often say they want to see a man again to avoid confrontation or embarrassment of being put on the spot. I also agree with the other poster that nowadays it's so hard to read many people on a date as to how it went or was going, so many guys do assume the date went not that well until they hear otherwise from the woman or see her again. As someone posted in another thread, dating is really hard these days partly because so many women never let their guard down so it's not always easy to read them on dates.

My vote for dropping interest in him is not hearing anything for three days. Has it already been that long? If he contacts you in a week, my vote would be let him go no matter what reasons he gives for the delay since he would probably be lying about the cause and was clearly not as into you as you had been into him.

Right?!

@brainyactress apparently, there are rules ...

It’s not so much hanging on. I’m wondering what’s a good deadline to refuse to respond to future contacts. Like if I never hear from him again, whatevs. But what if he calls at 10 days? A month? I have a date tonight so there’s no waiting around. Just trying to figure it all out.

@brainyactress Well speaking from my personal behavior I can tell you this that if after going out with a woman I felt like that time wasn’t enough then I’d reach right back out.

If I was moderately impressed but I also had others that I was dating then I’d do so in a couple of days.
But if you were ok to hang out with but not someone that I’d want to be in relationship with then I’d reach out whenever.

Or if you were an absolute fucking nightmare I wouldn’t say anything to you but if I was in public and you were to see me then I’d grab the nearest gay guy I could find kiss him squeeze his ass and thank you for helping find my true sexuality. ?

It’s not so much hanging on. I’m wondering what’s a good deadline to refuse to respond to future contacts. Like if I never hear from him again, whatevs. But what if he calls at 10 days? A month? I have a date tonight and two other established beaus, so there’s no waiting around. Just trying to figure it all out.

@brainyactress 3 - 6 days is not unreasonable. If a man waited 10 days to call me after a first date, I'd be asking him to remind me how we know one another.

I’ve been forward with men all my life. They have taught me it’s a terrible idea. But thanks.

@brainyactress Sorry you endured that--must be the egos of those guys. Knowing the woman is interested takes all the pressure off. Seems odd that you're not allowed to show your interest. Of course if they are threatened by that, they aren't the guy for you.

???

No, I agree. It’s just between scheduling and kids and work, I almost need a spreadsheet to keep up with the people in my life. Those spaces are valuable. Just figuring out the sweet spot for who gets my psychic energy and who gets deleted. There seems to be no in between.

[giphy.com]

Please don't stalk it only perpetuates the penis perpetrators

I can’t watch Greg whatsisname rip off others and then try to act... Oy. But your point is taken.

?