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So Valentine's question. My wife and I are going through a divorce right now but still living together till it's done, and she moves out. Looking for opinions on Valentine's day. I bought our 35 year old daughter a valentine(always have) and our 7yo granddaughter a valentine.
Wasn't sure of the protocals for someone in my soon to be divorced position. So I bought the soon to be ex-wife a generic non-wifey valentine and everyone got chocolate covered strawberries. Not that big a deal but it is sort of a situation I haven't ever been in. And will hopefully never be in again, Lol.

ronnie40356 7 Feb 14

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15 comments

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2

Just wing it

3

Am in almost the exact same position except without kids. It's ok to be confused because it's a confusing situation. Didn't give her a valentine because we are not in a committed relationship anymore and I want to keep that boundary very firm. Do your best to figure out which boundaries won't confuse this already difficult situation and don't cross them! This is something you have to figure out but as an outsider a valentine seems to be inappropriate. Good luck and if you want we could share more of our struggles.

2

I think that you can never go wrong, showing regard. I am sorry that you are facing this major change in your life. Some relationships change over time and simply want fit...one or both of the people on it, any longer. The more self respect that you maintain as this process plays out, the better it will be for you, your child and your ex. And, I would add...all the people that love and care about both of you. Because, everyone around you will experience some hurt. My best to you...

2

Bloody hard, we were separated, had young kids and separate parts of the house, could go weeks with out seeing her, yet she would try and blackmail me into pretending, wanting to go out to dinner for kids birthdays, or have her parents down etc. She bought herself things a few times re Valentines and others saying they were form me. I guess I am a hard bastard, I woudln't have done anything re Valentines, but then your wife is probably a much nicer person than mine was.

2

Bloody hard, we were separated, had young kids and separate parts of the house, could go weeks with out seeing her, yet she would try and blackmail me into pretending, wanting to go out to dinner for kids birthdays, or have her parents down etc. She bought herself things a few times re Valentines and others saying they were form me. I guess I am a hard bastard, I woudln't have done anything re Valentines, but then your wife is probably a much nicer person than mine was.

2

To show her that you still respect her, was great. I’m glad that you are able to do that. When the ex is the parent of your children, they will always be in your life.

I made a photo book a couple weeks ago for my daughter’s dad. It was mostly her and her kids, but a few of the rest of the family too. We got pregger at 15, 29 years ago. We haven’t been together for 31 years. He was super surprised, and very thankful.

2

I think that was very kind and thoughtful. Perfect, actually.

3

Well, when we were separated (he had moved out but said he wanted to fix things) my ex picked a fight so he could spend the evening with his mistress. So, I would suggest basically anything other than that.
Sorry to hear about your divorce.

Ewwww! Good riddance.

3

Sounds alright to me

2

Sounds like you did exactly the right thing.

3

Sounds like a very practical and reasonable solution.

3

ya done good !

3

That worked just fine in my opinion.

3

That was a nice gesture.

1

P.S. A friend of mine says I over think everything. Another example?

Well you never know how another person is going to react to a well thought out gesture do you?

I always overthink everything.

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