My husband, educated intelligent, as I thought, engineer became a religious fanatic. Since then he would expect me and my son follow his rules and demanded me to submit to him. Wait? What? I was hoping he will get over it but never happened. Things was only get worse. As I was with the little child on my hands, he quit his job, for his boss was a lesbian lady and she asked him to work couple of Saturdays. He can not make Good mad by working on Sabbath. Why should I spend 8 years in those relationship? I'm an immigrant, I moved to the States all by myself when I was young and brave, I'm still is. He and my son was my only family abroad and I truly believed, such an intelligent person would not take in that serious. At the and of our relationship, he told me I'll be a bad mother for our son, for I don't care about his spiritual life and his eternal life. Yes, I was never a religious and he knew it! He was not religious himself. I work hard, I do dedicate myself to things I do. Seeing moods of my ex I begun to work more to save big money and separate. He quit his engineering job and moved to the wilderness to pray and study medical missionary classes. He took my son with him for a month and a half. After that month and a half I picked my son from the airport to fly to Russia and visit my family. He looked like a poor child. With warts, oily hair, durty clothes and very skinny. His father said that all this text he was on natural remedies and diet. Crap! He is a 7years old child, he doesn't need your lunatic ways. I took my son and we went to Russia. Now my son looks healthy and well. But for over 4 months we can not go back to Seattle. As I told to my ex the child won't be returning to him, for I don't want him indoctrinated with religious absurd and being treated like an experiment for natural remedies.He got mad and begun to threatened me with legal actions. He said he is the better parent for he will reveal the love of Jesus to our boy. He withdrew money from the bank account, for he is not working. I missed my naturalization interview, I got sick being constantly nervous, I'm getting closer to loose my green card, bit I'm still with my son and have no clue what to do next. Stay away from religious fanatics. They might affect your entire life, just as it happened to me. I don't know what should I do now. Please help me.
Members I'm just going to put this out there. This could be a real person and great if it is - give them all the information that could help.
However this also has all the earmarks of being a scam for money. (Trapped in another country - abusive husband - child involved in harms way). We all want to help.
If you are suddenly getting PMs asking for money? Please report.
Send all the information you can - that will help if this is a real person. But there are organizations to help with this. And apparently she has an internet connection and could look that up.
Also this person is already in trouble with the law - because she doesn't have the right to keep the child from the other parent without filing paperwork - which is what is stated here.
Again great information sources. You're good people. Don't change.
My goodness you've been through a lot. I just want to tell you that you are a very strong person. You have gotten away from him, and you have your son who is now healthy, so you have already done a lot.
As far as what to do next, I think you have to ask yourself what do you want to see happen? How do you want your life to be like now? If it's divorce and getting full custody for your son, then I imagine you will have to go through a Washington state lawyer. It wouldn't hurt to contact a few lawyers and just talk over the phone to see what your options are. When you are talking to a lawyer ask them if they can help you to connect with an immigration advocate. Someone who would work for you and your son's benefit. Or, Google - Washington state immigration organizations. There are quite a few organizations that can help with immigration issues, or could at least connect you to someone that could help with your situation.
I am so terribly sorry to hear what you are going through. Your husband sounds exactly like my sister, and the damage her religiosity has caused is likely irreparable. Though it has caused me chronic stress and profoundly impacted my life, I see that your situation is much more difficult. I very much hope you are able to separate with as little strife as possible.
I'm so sorry to hear about your hardship. He sounds hyper-religious. Did he have a sudden religious conversion? If so, it's possible that he has a mental/neurological disorder. "Hyperreligiosity is a major feature of mania, obsessive-compulsive disorder, schizophrenia, temporal-lobe epilepsy, and related disorders." [ncbi.nlm.nih.gov]
This happened to my late husband. He wasn't religious at all when we married. He was agnostic. Later in our marriage, he developed a neurological disorder and became obsessed with the bible and conservative Christianity. It began with a "sudden religious conversion" which is a medical term ([pdfs.semanticscholar.org] ). Then he started demanding that I submit to and obey him.
I would advise documenting (and dating) everything, especially concerning the treatment of your child. Like others have mentioned here, you should talk to a lawyer. According to this legal website, there is nothing in the law saying that, once you are divorced or your marriage is annulled, your efforts to get a green card are automatically over. [alllaw.com]
When I got married my wife was a Methodist. Kind of a middle of the road thing. I was non religious and she knew it, but married me anyway. Later on she turned into a Jehovahs Witness. No warning , just woke up and then she was transformed.
It went downhill from there. Now we are no longer married.
Be sure to talk to a lawyer who is an expert in the Hague Convention on the Civil Aspects of International Child Abduction. This should be your very first step! Keeping your son in Russia could have some very serious consequences for you. You might want to read through this so you get a little bit of an understanding: [en.wikipedia.org]
I am sorry you are in this situation, but be sure to take care of this before anything else!
I think some mentioned contacting Legal Aid in your area. That's a good first step, especially if you're not in the states right now. Or contact some attorneys in that area because many do free consultations over the phone.
Another I would suggest is to look for a community mental health center to see if you can get some counseling for yourself. It sounds like you're dealing with a lot, and it could be helpful to talk to someone who may also have additional resources.
Also, do you what religion (more like cult) he's joined? I would read up a little on that so you can maybe keep ahead of his behavior a bit. Also, keep any evidence of his behaviors- text messages, pictures of your son looking thin and dirty, any kind of documentation to show it's become unsafe and unhealthy for you and your son.
I'm sorry this happened. It isn't unheard-of.
In practice, as the saying goes, possession is 9/10ths of the law. I do not believe he can really do very much across international borders, other than bluster and threaten. If it's at all feasible for you to stay in Russia or even some other country, preferably at a location your husband won't know to seek you out, my impulse would be to do that. The problem is that even though the American divorce system favors you as the mother in terms of custody rights, you will still have the problem of shared custody and the discipline problems that go with it, of the husband trying to alienate your son's affection, convert him, neglect him or possibly abduct him in the name of his god. And your non-citizen status complicates that, especially in Trump's America.
If you need to return to America, get good legal advice; perhaps you can find an advocate or someone doing pro bono legal work to help figure out how best to proceed.
Sorry to hear that. I'll be frank with you. If he is as fanatical as you say, whatever else he may be, he's not intelligent. So its no loss. You missed your naturalization interview. Thats on you. So that may be the end of your life in the states. For better or for worse. Take it day by day. Ask yourself "what do i need to do today to be better off tomorrow". You don't have to have all the answers now. Just take it day by day.
Dear ZZoha.....I can appreciate your situation & I'm very sorry to hear about it. The way I see it, you have two choices: A). Separate yourself and your son from your husband completely NOW & make a clean break of it. B). Tell him that you & your son will go back to him, but ONLY if he agrees to treat you the same way he did before his religious conversion. Tell him he will be "on probation" for a period of, say, three to six months. He has one chance, and one chance only. If you don't like the way he is behaving, then LEAVE him & file for divorce! It is often the most recently converted religious fanatics who are the "worst," but perhaps he will mellow out over time. You need to decide if you still love your husband enough to give him another chance. But be very careful, religious fanatics have been known to do some insane things! Good luck to you!