I’ve bonded with people and it’s brought me joy but I’ve never loved someone. I feel that humans have put their own fairy-tale definition on what love is. Love to me is a healed cut. I need someone to help further my thoughts.
It's when you value someone else more than yourself in every way and want them to be happy moreso than your own acquisition of happiness. In other words, someone who means so much to you that you would sacrifice your own happiness to ensure theirs. And it often tends to last when they feel the same about you.
My little philosophy...
Love is the interconnectedness of sentient beings. It's just a human construct like time. But constructs like time and love are important to make us human. It's how we see ourselves and define ourselves and others. To me, communication is a form of love. There is good and bad forms of communication: You can kiss or punch someone in the mouth, but everything we do as a form of connection, intentional or reactional, is a form of love. Love is life itself, playing istelf out in the cosmos. Love gives a veil of meaning to the meaningless energy. Love allows life to procreate and devour our tiny little worlds.
I am not sure whether or not I love. When I was younger I used to think the infatuation I experienced was love. As I've gotten older, that has mostly gone away. I feel a little bit of affection for family, but I'm not sure how strong that bond actually is. I would like to think it is strong but it's never been tested. Now, when I like someone it is this pleasant sensation of completeness in my heart with a dash of longing thrown in. I can break down what I'm feeling but when I am trying to relay my feelings to someone, they almost always seem paltry compared to what others express. Am I broken or not normal because of this? I still don't know. At least as far as love goes.
Hmmmm. What do you mean by "a healed cut"?
I am not sure that I believe in fairy tale love, but there is someone that I constantly think about when I am not with her, and feel happy and warm when I am with her. I think that might be a good operational definition of love...
There is a difference in "loving" someone and being "in love" with someone. I have been "in love" (or at least I thought I was) more than once and it is a two edged sword that can cut you to pieces with both sides. Loving someone can bring you joy and/or disappointment, but it does not cut you to the quick and hurt, harm or damage you.
"Love is a healed cut"
Interesting definition. To me, the spectrum of Love Definitions are like the difference between looking through a microscope and looking through a telescope. Finding internal self love is what gives perspective to the understanding Universal love and adds to it's depths and appreciation of self, family, and community. The value of what one's own connection to another is based on the ability to give to one's self. When you find your worth, (not assuming you haven't) ....The Way to loving yourself..., then and only then will you learn how to love someone else but more importantly, how to let someone love you. Learning to love myself was one of the hardest things I had to learn to do. The other, was learning to communicate that standard without feeling selfish. When I learned to define love as a gift, sharing that gift became just as important as breathing. Sure, neurobiology will talk about pheromones and chemisrty, and a poety may talk about situational connection and serendipity. A psychologist may bring up codependency or associative tramas but in truth, to love is to know yourself, your place in the world and your value in it. I hope your learn how to love someone more than yourself. That is the truest form of trust and vulnerability. Vulnerability is living without fear, and trust is believing in someone else to not abusebyour vulnerability Anyhow, that's my blah blah blah. So cheers to you and finding love.
To me romantic love is our biological predisposition to reproduce and destress one another, but just because its that to me I do still desire to have it. As far as love for family and friends I say look up kinship, it explains pretty well why we as animals protect each other.
Love is subjective. Whatever your definition, As an exceptionally attractive woman, I think that love will be something that will come to you when you decide you want it. You can travel all over the world as you have done. See all that it has to offer. And when you are ready to have love, the men will line up for you. And you will simply pick the most desirable specimen.