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This could go for either gender. smile001.gif Just a great one liner, had to share~

By mistymoon779
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182 comments

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4

perfect!

zesty Level 7 Sep 22, 2018
45

I definitely could have used this line on a past few relationships...

Yea, but it's always afterwards that you know.

Well they do say that people tend to be wiser with the benefit of hindsight.

@RonB That must be from the Old Testament, no?

@LetzGetReal Maybe... but more like just, from an old bastard.... me smile001.gif

39

Anthony Jeselnik is one of my favorite comedians. He's one of the few comedians who manages to catch me off guard on a regular basis. And I love that nothing is off limits in his comedy. Dark, irreverent humor speaks to me. smile007.gif

resserts Level 8 Nov 10, 2017

He is a funny guy, I have heard him a couple times.. very intelligent man that brings humor into things you wouldn't normally think of.

@amorfati He is definitely one of my favorites.

I’m watching him now on Netflix.

28

I recently posted on Facebook this statement "Religion if the Tool of the Psychopath", and I had a really bad reaction from a person who must be Christian, but who calls herself an Agnostic.

DavidNoel Level 5 Nov 8, 2017

I do think there are some trolls on here pretending to be something they are not.. ironic isn't it, what are they trying to prove anyways..

@mistymoon77 yep, trolls have a tendency of not showing their face or bother with a bio but they post a lot of bullshit.

@mistymoon77 Why, they are trying to "save" us, no doubt. Totally for our own good, of course! (LMFAO!)

@mistymoon77 Years ago on AOL Astrology chat every 5 minutes a bible thumper would start spouting "You devil worshipers are all going to hell!" I tell them "You are going about this the wrong way." and they would try to say some bible quote out of context. Pointless!

@zrez The "Early Troll".... AOL - shudders....

I think we have clearly seen that psychopaths do regularly use religion as a tool. Its right to say that if its what we clearly observe.

@zrez Non believers can't go to hell . The Bible says God created the angels , who then revolted , and God cast them from heaven , his favorite , Lucifer , becoming Satan . Therefore , if you don't believe in God , then Satan and Hell don't exist . Only believers can go to Hell .

@zrez It might have been effective to advise them to turn the telescope the other way round - and look inside themselves.

@mudhen However, there's the counter argument that women have been multitasking from long before that, which requires inter-hemisphere connections. Just as all the Great Apes do. And man's specification diverged from the Great Ape stem a heck of a lot longer that 30 thousand years ago.

The tool of the psychopath, absolutely. Voltaire said it perfectly, "if you can induce them to believe absurdities, you can get them to commit atrocities." Hitler did it, Nazism is a religion; Oliver Cromwell did it invading Ireland in the name of Anglicanism; the Crusaders caused the blood in Jerusalem to be ankle deep, according to eyewitness historians. The list goes on and on.

@mudhen I have always maintained that religion is a mental illness.

Some are on here as well... YIKES. Am surprised but guess I should not be...

@mudhen can you cite your resources. I would love to read more about that subject. There are hundreds if not thousands of Different explanations for how we got here and how we think. I would love to read up this point of view. Tony

@phxbillcee saving us sounds like a “fun” hobby that they wil never win.

23

HaHaHa.

I almost had a psychic girlfriend, but she left me before we met.

Aquaeyes Level 6 May 16, 2018

Now that's really funny, in a lingering, pithy way! Good One!!

I thought less about morons then the more I thought about the more I knew their were and are pathetic morons. Meant that yesterday.

19

"When my love swears she is made of truth, I do believe her, though I know she lies." -- Wm. Shakespeare

sunhatpat Level 5 Feb 18, 2018
16

By Rickey Gervias (sp) quote. "If there is a God then why did he make me an atheist?"

Grecio Level 6 May 22, 2018
16

I used to be a schizophrenic but we're OK now!

Grecio Level 6 May 20, 2018

I USED to think that I was schitzophrenic, but I am in two minds about it now!

LOL!

@Unique The voices assure me I'm ok.

9 out of 10 voices in my head agree that you're insane.

Actually people mix that up with multiple personality disorder. Schizophrenia is having delusions.

15

That...is a great line.

15

I'm gonna steal this one

heathen77 Level 6 Feb 19, 2018

Me too!

@njoy_life_2 Me 3 ~

15

I like it.

fearlas Level 6 Feb 11, 2018
15

Hahaha! Love it!

Phreek35 Level 4 Feb 5, 2018
15

Good find!
Thanks for sharing.

DeeTee Level 7 Nov 8, 2017
14

Oh yeah? I knew her in the Quranic sense. On my knees five times a day.

GlyndonD Level 7 May 3, 2018
14

Oh, yeah... definitely gonna commit this one to memory.

14

This is the best way to describe my ex husband smile027.gif

Mine as well.

13

This guy is hilarious. If you don't mind some "sick" jokes, see his Netflix special "Thoughts & Prayers". I miss his Comedy Central show.

I love sick jokes.. I have a demented twisted warped sense of humor so ya.. bring it on..

@mistymoon77 My kinda gal! I saw above that you've heard some of his stuff, so you are forewarned. His Eric Clapton joke from that special is surely twisted, & that's just one "dead baby" joke!

Yeah, I've watched that one several times on Netflix.

@birdingnut So have I, just to try to memorize most of his jokes!

If it's streaming on Netflix I'm gonna watch it!

thx for the tip. dialing him up on Netflix.

12

Great shift in the perspective/frame/assumptions. love it. thank you.

suzieg Level 4 Apr 22, 2018
11

This has gotten so many laughs with me and I also found out many of my religious friends don't have much of a sense of humor.

DerekDerek Level 4 Apr 17, 2018

Mocking their God, no they tend not to laugh. Shame as they're missing out

10

This is an outrageously funny line that will certainly enrage trump supporters when I tweak it a bit. Thank you for introducing me to this guy. With and humor...what's not to like?

heh...my plan exactly! and let's not neglect the godbots!

10

One of my favorite memes mocking Christianity

Jimm Level 4 July 26, 2018
10

I love that guy. He is so irreverent. There is pretty much no subject he is afraid to make funny, dark funny, but funny.

Sticks48 Level 9 May 6, 2018
10

I love Jeselnik! He is one of the most offensive commedians. I like that in a person.

djalicex Level 5 Apr 18, 2018
10

Lol... yes.

9

I'd never join a club that had me for a member

I believe that's a quote from Groucho Marks .

@Cast1es - I thought it was earlier than that, Oscar Wilde?

@UncleAlan I did a quick search and it is only attributed to Groucho Marx.

@snytiger6 I heard it was from Mark Twain, but I'll accept Groucho. It's kinda like A. Lincoln's quote warning us not to trust the internet.

Groucho is the kind of great puns like that one.
"This morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How it got into my pajamas, I'll never know."
Some of his quoted are kinda sexist or gross, but still funny, such as:
"Behind every great man is a great woman. And behind her, is the man's wife."

@Cast1es Definitely Groucho!

9

Roses are red, violets are blue, I am a schizophrenic and so am I.

Grecio Level 6 May 20, 2018

Lolololol ?

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