No, I cannot top that.

Pre mobile phones. Coming over the Marburg range around midnight we saw VW beetle pulled up on the side of the road. We pulled over to see if they needed help only to be confronted by a man who said "Don't come any closer, just call the police." We called from Rusty's, but I've never heard what happened.

Early performance art? Was some Laurie Anderson music playing in the background?

One Sunday morning I was walking downtown in Missoula, MT. I see this dirty, messy guy walking towards me. I figure he will either: 1) ask me for money, or 2) begin talking gibberish to me. What he said completely surprised me:

"Do you know where's the adult bookstore where you can jack off?"

My reaction was to laugh.

I told him I didn't know if it was the one he wanted, but I knew there was an adult bookstore behind the Wells Fargo.

Granted, it was Sunday morning and he and I were the only ones on Broadway at the time. BUT I've had to wonder: "Do I look like a guy who would know where are the adult book stores with the most liberal rules?"

I vote for nutter. Real-life spies aren't about to draw any attention to themselves (unless you're James Bond). It was probably staged.

yes not spooky but a nasty thing to say. i had just left school at 16 and an older women i knew said once you leave shool time flies by. she wasnt wrong ffs.

I was stationed at the U.SArmy Hospital in West Berlin in 1960, at the height of the Cold War. West Berlin was 110 miles deep inside Russian controlled East Germany, and surrounded by 300,000 Russian Troops.

Late one night, MPs Blocked the entrace to hospital gounds on Faberstrasse and ensured that there was no one between the gate and the outside entrance to the Outpatient Department. They also cleared the Outpatient Department itself, and sorrounding hallways of all people. Then they drove a vehicle to the Outpatient entrance and brougt a man into the hospital and placed him in a private room and locked the door. They gave the key to the doctor who was to be the attending physician and he was the only person allowed to see the patient.

I made all of the morning reports for the hispital showing all personnel actions and patents admitted and discharged. For this admission, I was told to simply state "one person admitted - CLASSIFIED. About a week later, the MPs came back and took the person out again in the ded of night in the same manner. I entered in the morning report, "one patient discharged -- CLASSIFIED..

I often wondered who the man was. A defector? One of our spies who got ill and came in from the cold for treatment?

I was in the army. My unit was alerted and we were transported with weapons and equipment to a nearby air force base. We were loaded into a C-141 and sat on the runway for hours.

Every one in a leadership position was given a sealed manilla envelope, and instructed not to open until we were airborne. It contained crackly cellophane which I believe were map overlays, as well as, I'm guessing, the appropriate maps.

We sat on the tarmac in a hot airplanes for about 4 hours before we were given the order to deplane. Those of us with envelopes were led to an area away from the planes and fuel. The seals on the envelope were inspected, and then we were ordered to burn the envelopes.

Oh, he was role-playing. If you had classified material to read, would you do it in front of anyone? And would you EAT it in front of anyone? In fact ... you wouldn't eat it, there are more effective and efficient ways to destroy it.

A tale I've heard, though I can't remember the celebrity involved - not can I, of course, vouch for the truth.

A celebrity, as a prank, got hold of a mobile phone that could not be traced back to him - and from this phone sent a text message to a load of his friends.

The message went, "We have been discovered! Flee before it's too late!"

One of the friends vanished, and was never heard of again.

Had a girlfriend in college who had an affair with a professor who looked like that-weird.