How long have you been dating ? and how old are the kids ? Many Moms are cautious about a recent man - and rightly so .

How long have you been in a relationship? If it's still pretty new, it may be that she just doesn't want to introduce them yet. I was a single mom, and I was very careful about whom my children met. I suppose it depends on her reason(s) for keeping you a secret; has she said why?

On the other hand, if it's been going on for a while, you might want to think seriously about where it's headed. Talk to her; communication is vital in a successful relationship. If she doesn't want to talk about it, that's an important sign right there. And it will let you know what's going on.

I think a mother who puts the safety and security of her children first is a good mother. You haven't mentioned if the relationship is serious or how long you've been dating, neither have you mentioned how old the children are. When she feels comfortable that the relationship is solid she will want to introduce you to her children. This is assuming that you're not just hooking up.

Maybe she is just protective in the way that she doesn't want to introduce you to her kids until she's sure you're gonna be around. It can be weird for kids to meet temporary people. The best way to know her reasons is to ask her.

My daughter is dating after a self imposed hiatus of 3 years.

Her children's father is a deadbeat with no stability. Their step father that lived with them for most of their lives, walked away without a second glance.

She will NOT subject them to that again.

She knows she has a type and still can choose badly. She will not introduce a man to her children until she is absolutely certain he is the one. She told me that is at least 6 months. There actually was one that made it that far and got introduced and immediately started trying to control her after he met them.

Exit stage left.

Her children are going to be far more important than you. That being said, if you have been dating a year and she still refuses to discuss when you will meet, there may be more to the story.

Maybe, it means that she wants to be sure of any person she exposes her children to? If it is just a dating situation, it seems that she would be up front about the men she dates and introduce them to her children. If it is on going maybe, she is afraid her children will get attached and then the relationship will fall apart and her children will be hurt, by the loss of someone they may have had no problem with and we're fond of This would certainly be bad for children if many men, came into their life and then went away! This is a very hard situation to call.

Depends how long less than a year she may be trying to protect them and see you if you are serious about her . More than a year then I'd be asking questions

How long have you been dating? My general rule is to know someone for about 6mo.s or so before introducing them to my kids.

I did not introduce the guys I dated to my kids until these guys had been around for at least 6 months AND had proven they were not going to be utter flakes...in other words, they met 2 people...1 I was with for 17 years, the other is now going on 6 years (& my sons are now in their early 30s). Its worked out well.

My wife did not introduce me to her kids immediately either. She wanted to be "sure" before introducing me. They had already been through a divorce and the death of their stepfather. I did not press her. It happened when she was ready.

I have to agree with her. I know I would have done things different while raising my son. Maybe she is waiting to see if the relationship gets serious, until the, she us protecting her children from getting attached. I wish more people would do this.

How long has it been and how old are the kids? If the kids are elementary aged I wouldn't be in a hurry to introduce anyone to them until I was pretty sure it was going to be long term. My kids are adults and I'd probably introduce a steady guy after a couple of months. Also, how long has she been divorced from the father of the children? It the home life pretty stable for the kids? Genders of the kids? Seriously, I respect a woman who puts her kids first, she's a good mom. And when she does introduce you to the kids it means you've made the cut, honor that. For moms, our kids are our biggest area of vulnerability. I will protect my kids with my life if I need to.

I would rather stay away from the children until I knew how things were going

No way. Somethings up with this picture. Honesty important to you?

It depends on how long you're talking about. When my kids were younger they didn't meet anyone until I had been going out with them a long enough time. They didn't need that.

If the children are young, then waiting until there is the possibility of a long or permanent relationship seems best. If they are grown, then, no big---

No

At my 'stage of life' it would create problems. With my late partner her kids saw a change in how they viewed their mom. Tough titties. She let them know and even wrote a letter telling them it was her life and her obligation to make them able to stand on their own 2 feet was done. It was time they put into practice what they learned so she could have "her" life.

When she was dying her brother and his family got a special, expensive visa to come and see her. They questioned her choice of Death with Dignity and she sent them packing after 2 short days. This is the kind of woman I want and I think this kind of character makes for the best relationship.

That's a hard one. Have you had a chance to visit her at home when the kids aren't around? If so, I think the users who've said she might have a very good reason for this (who knows what might have happened in the past?) are right - this is, in my opinion, the most likely explanation, and most women who have had a bad experience in the past would do the same to protect their children. If you've been seeing each other for a significant time, say three to six months, and you haven't been to her home, unless you know for a fact that he isn't you may need to consider the possibility that their father is still around and you're "the other man."

If I were dating a parent with children, I'd be willing to not be introduced until we determine that our mutual intention was a committed relationship.

Besides that, absolutely not.

My goal is to live my life practicing "radical honesty." My being a secret would not mesh with that at all.

It depends on length of time and how serious the relationship is.
When I was a single parent, I didn't introduce my kid to every yokel I dated -- until the relationship became serious and monogamous.

I lived with a man that insisted to his parents that I was his "room-mate". I finally got tired of his "well, we know what we are to each other" b/s that I left him.

Most women with children don't introduce new boyfriends to their children or families until they are sure the person will work out long term. No point is upsetting the kids if things don't work out.
I didn't introduce a love interest to my kids until we were exclusive, and things looked good to go.

Is this person still married?

@paul1967 if it's only been a few days then fine, or if she needs a few days to break it to them that she's seeing someone, however if neither of those two apply then perhaps she's not confident that the relationship is right for her. Also I think it depends on how old the kids are and how long ago since she broke up with their father