Please be nice in your response.
I think for me it is a difficult question. I am overweight but active, and try to have a full life. I have dated men who were from all body shapes based on their ability to get out and do things. I don't think I have a preference, it's much more about what they do and who they are instead of them being thick, thin or inbetween.
No, flabby, overweight bodies don't attract me in the least.
I was in a relationship with a man (for 5 years) who was significantly overweight, but I found him attractive. He had more energy than most people I knew, and was ALWAYS doing something. He drank a lot(both the reason for his weight and why I finally left), and ate a LOT of fast food, which didn't help. I would rather date a man more on the heftier side than skinny.
My criteria is breathing and continent.
And intelligent, kind, tolerant, liberal, etc.
Weight is not an issue. I'm a big gal myself, been bigger, been slimmer. Food is a tough issue, I'm not going to penalize someone for having that kind of issue when I deal with it as well.
I would if they're active. I find sedentary people very frustrating.
Why?
Because there are a lot of active things I like to share with friends/SO and it disappoints and frustrates me when they won't join me.
That what I'm attracted to. I always been attracted to bbw. Ever since I saw a bbw I knew right than and there what kind of woman I want to be start dating. I have no problem with women that not a bbw but I like what I like.
Never been a problem for me, body size, shape, looks, etc. are not what defines the value of a person to me. Do we have common interests, are they intelligent and do we share common world views are what is far more important.
I once dated a very, very large man (300lbs +). He had a brillinat mind, and we had great conversation, and spent time together, but I simply could not overcome my aversion to his size when it came to becoming physical - I just couldn't . He understood.
I found later I felt a little angry that with all his brilliance he had allowed himself to get so out of control. I also learned my limits ...
@Akfishlady Not likely , as he lives in a different part of the country. Honestly, I can't say. When I was with him (years ago), he had expressed a slight desire to be thinner, but admitted that he was really not at all motivated to make that happen.
Ooh I like this question! ~ I'm pretty open about body types, however, I have found that I'm not that attracted to real thin or boney people, (men or women). I like dating people with some meat on them. I, myself, have meat on my bones and would prefer someone close to my own body type. I love chubby people but there is a limit. Those who let themselves get too large and unhealthy to perform daily task is not just unattractive physically but emotionally they aren't in the right mind set. If that nakes sense.
My brother dumped a lovely gal who adored him who was merely chunky, solely because of her weight Ended up with a thin gal who beats him mentally & physically, and treated our Mom like crap. Shallow gets what shallow deserves, IMO
I re-read some of the comments here, and there is one I have to take issue with. Someone said something about how fatness is an indication that a woman has issues, and they are not happy with themselves. Well, I am fat, and I became fat due to medication that I have to take; it gives you mega food cravings. But fatness can also be due to so many reasons that are not “psychological issues”. Perhaps a woman has had several kids, and has put everyone else first in her life and doesn’t worry about “snapping back” and losing irrelevant baby weight.
I have found fatness a gift. It’s an incredibly good tool that sifts shit, shallow, prejudiced people out of my life.
I love sitting on my sofa and chilling out, I enjoy sleeping, I am not a gym bunny. However I am lucky enough to have an amazing job and literally travel the world and get to do and see amazing things. If someone doesn’t want to fuck me/date me/ marry me because of my weight, it’s their problem and not mine. In that situation, I win.
I would date someone fat, I would date someone trans, I would date someone with a disability - all they need to be is attractive in my eyes, intelligent, funny, and very kind.
Would and have, along with skinny, average, short, tall, Asian, Hispanic, and Caucasian. No African American women only because of a lack of opportunity. I have never been drawn to a particular type of woman physically. For me attraction is a combination of things.
Someone dated me so why not?I am more then my weight that is a bonus. I had a mind that isn't so bad rejected religion. I provided for y family andmade sure each received a college degree. I was loyal ,loving and true to my wife. Not a bad catch if I say so myself!
My bias tells me that most overweight people, not all of course, but most are not in the peak of fitness, and by extension of that notion, I would be reticent to become involved with a person grossly overweight (say, 50 lbs or more) primarily because we probably could not do some of the physical activities together that I would prefer a mate be able to do with me.
That said, if the above scenario was not true in a particular instance, and the person was relatively fit, weight would not be the deciding factor. And then there's the probability that I would be the rejectee before the other factors even came into play.
In my way of thinking weight doesn’t matter. Years ago I dated a lady that weight at least 300 pounds. I never asked. We had a great time. But parted company years ago, but her weight was never an issue.
I'm a big guy. I'm 6'2" and 235 pounds and I'm strong as a bear, so I don't see the attraction of skinny girls. Everyone has different taste just like everyone has different bodies. I would prefer someone close to my own size and weight. It just seems like it would be more compatible.
I, myself am less than perfect, so why should I expect anyone else to be. It is all about perception.
I have dated all shapes and sizes and they all had one thing in common: It felt good to be with them. I would rather be with someone who is secure in their skin but perhaps not so much like what the media sells as beautiful than someone who looks like a so-called supermodel who is riddled with insecurities. What usually turns my head is someone comfortably in the middle of those extremes. The key word there is "usually". Exceptions are everywhere, and I have had the pleasure of dating a few exceptions.
A few of my long-standing observations based on hugs:
Some of the softest and warmest hugs I have ever received were surprisingly from stick-figure skinny women, some were from obese women, and fewer (oddly) seem to have been from those closer to "average".
Some of the stiffest and least comfortable hugs have been from "pleasantly proportioned" women who you would think would be pleasnt hugs, but their insecurities eat them alive and it is most apparent when you're close enough to someone to embrace each other.
Beauty comes in all shapes, sizes and colors. Embrace them.
To answer your question, my preference is based on security vs insecurity more than on one being overweight or not.
I come to love personalities before bodies, so for me it's not an issue. If someone has a great personality, their body ends up looking cuddly to me. I've been all sizes myself. I got really sick and unable to breathe for like the last 2 decades because of severe allergies and survived on steroids which makes you heavy. Very overweight now. But am on a new drug that is giving me back my quality of life and removing my dependence on steroids. The scale is moving in the right direction again! 24 pounds in 2 months gone!!! Anyway, I did not find that I attracted less men as a heavy woman than I did as a thin woman. I think people don't realize their personality is a larger attracter than their body type.
I once had a man say to me that he'd never been attracted to a heavy person before me. One of my favorite hobbies is watching people. And I've noticed the brightest personalities are attracting many people, even when their bodies are varying in size.
As we get older, we learn that it's not about the outer shell so much as it is about the inner stuffing that matters. But one needs to be attracted to that person and we all have our areas that we are drawn to when it comes to things like that. I will say, I like a guy to be healthy and have some meat on the bone but not obese, no. Not into skinny guys at all and not into overly big ones either because it has more to do with being healthy which is important.
I don't have a problem with it so long as they can still be active. I've dated two that out weighed me double. Yea they both said they'd feed me and make me fat lol. Nope still about 165. Only time in my life I weighed more was after spending 2 weeks in Italy. 195 yeah pasta.
I prefer curvy ladies, not into big butts such as is the craze these days. Not into gym junkies and girls shaped like boys.
I am big always have been, even when thin I am still big. I really do have big bones.
I am currently well overweight, but most people are not as active as I am. I walk and swim daily and my work is mostly physical. When I was not overweight, I still dates women of all shapes and sizes, I love the female body in all its forms. It has never been an issue.