I remember as an atheist youth worrying about hell despite myself. But over the years it occured to me that "eteranl life" as described by Christians was equally abhorant as was the idea of hell. Oblivion, a dreamless sleep seems not all that bad by comparison.

Truly sorry to hear that -sounds like one of the after effects of coming off the drug, I wasnt ever religious so I really don't know what you are truly going through but I do wish you well , and hope that you get some help. I have a sense form soem of teh other things that I have gone through that its true, time heals, give yourself an easy ride for a bit and when those feelings come try talking back to them soothingly - 'ssshh - all will be well!'

Hell is just a term like Santa Claus we know it is not real and yet in some respects it controls our emotions. It is a way in which terminology is used to cause fear in our mind. Phobias can be erased with intellectual perspectives. Like a spider for example lots of people fear spiders in reality, a human is thousands of times bigger than an arachnid, we are not even in the prey category for spiders. Most not all people that have spider venom in them is because they swatted the fangs of the spider into their skin. In most cases people that insist that a spider bit them it is a case of mistaken identity the solifugae is way more likely to bite a human than a spider is.

Those are negative thoughts, the product of years of wrong thinking. Remember it is bullshit...

I was lucky enough to figure out all religions were BS when I was very young so the fear of hell never stuck.

By de-converting a Catholic , that would about every night wake up in a cold sweat frearing he would burn in hell, into a free thinking athiest, I was able to help him completely rid this fear of hell. It took him a few months after figuring out religions was BS.

However, the Athiest Experience [atheist-experience.com] (Think it was episode before 22.07 had a caller (recovering theist?)) like yourself who was still fearing hell even though he had figured it out to be no longer a valid fear had a long discussion with the hosts. I recommend watching that episode. (This topic has been addressed on this show on many occasions).

I’ve been an atheist since age 12. And never really believed in religion before that. Even though my parents made me go to church every Wednesday night and twice on Sunday. So I never really feared hell. But my guess is the fear of hell has ingrained into your core beliefs. You should be proud that you have over come the indoctrination as much as you have. Deprogramming will take some time. You will get there. I’m a ex gun nut. The fear that the government was going to come and try and take all my guns was ingrained in me from a early age. If I can overcome that you can overcome the fear of hell.

I'm a relatively new atheist, but I must have been thinking about all this in the back of my mind for some time. I can honestly say I have no fear of hell. If I do have any fear of hell it seems to be on the same level as a fear of being bitten by the Easter Bunny.

The belief in a real hell was instilled in you as it is in most christians, and I don't think you will get over it instantly, but in time, as you delve more and more into your non-theist studies, you will. The most important thing I have found in my life is to be patient with myself. I let go of religion years ago, but within the last year, labeled myself an atheist. I don't think I ever really believed anyway. Religions know that fear is their strongest weapon and they know how to use it so just think logically and use reasoning.

I'm afraid that my son believes it - that scares me more than anything else.

Its either all bullshit or not

Due entirely to the constant indoctrination you have been subject to since your birth, this fear is locked into your brain. and is the reason that parents feeding this nonsense into your head is really child abuse. It must be as you are troubled by what you have been taught. You should be without fear, but you have been force fed a lot of childish nonsense.

If you are wrong, and this god would damn you to eternal torture, then it's not a god worth worshipping. I felt the same, but then realized, screw it, I'll stand against such a vicious being no matter what.

Well there are two ways I've looked at this problem that might help. The first is the comfort of the unknown. There is no real way to know what or even if anything happens next because no one has come back to tell us. Death is the greatest unexplored boundary. So though you were taught things by your religion their is no real way to know and thusly no reason to fear.

Two just don't be a jerk. If we are all wrong and their is a God and an afterlife then no matter who's God it is or what afterlife you find yourself in they all have some common rules. Don't be a jerk seems to be the most common. Almost all the faiths judge you for your actions not how you worshiped. So take a bit from Bill and Ted and be excellent to each other.

I've decided not to worry about it. I guess if you could say I have faith in anything, it's faith in the unknown. I don't know what happens after death. It could be something, or anything, or even nothing. I just sort of opened myself up to whatever possibilities, and decided that was ok.

Christians use the term “father” when referring to God, and I’ve seen some awful fathers on the planet, but I don’t think any of them would go to this extreme. I’ve concluded that Christians cannot call themselves loving as long as they never call into question their god’s predilection to eternal torture.

If God is as they say, willing to torture for eternity, then how is Heaven going to be different from Hell? The God they describe is volatile and angry, and gets pissed at a moment’s notice. He will be the same for them. While they may not be tortured by fire, that doesn’t mean that God can’t torture just as easily in Heaven ass in Hell (let it be done on earth as it is in heaven). Think North Korea, Russia, China... the best way to be left alone is keep low and not be seen. But that doesn’t mean that they won’t find something wrong anyway.

Or, as they say, God is a loving father. Well, a loving father would not torture. Nor would a loving father send anyone to hell. A loving father would make his children do it over and over until they get it right. In other words, a loving father/God, would send us back... reincarnation... forcing us to keep trying until it’s finally right. And if “getting it right” is not your plan, then a loving father would simply let you go. Cut ties... or just let you “rest in peace.” There you cannot do anymore damage.

I can understand where your coming from. There are priests that have come out and stated that the church made it up to control the people with fear. As for myself my father raised me and my siblings as Jehovah’s Witness's so we don’t believe in literal hell. Kinda funny how this bible that is the perfect word of god can be misinterpreted by billions of people and people can read the same book and come to different conclusions regarding what’s metaphorical and what is literal. As far as fearing hell fire that’s exactly the hold on your thinking religion thrives on. Fear based control l.

Hell was the first thing that I let go of and never took litterally.

We have a comedy radio program set in hell, called 'Old Harry's Game' Andy Hamilton is in it with demon Scumspawn.

I don't know why any one would want an after life. Would it be like this one?.

Old lies die hard. The best way to deal with this is to consider the implications and logic of it all. Once the absurdity of it all sinks in, the lingering fear will vanish.

The popular conception of Hell is that it's a place of punishment and reckoning. But what if it's just a human construct to keep the masses in line? I'm a classic fence sitting agnostic - I don't know either way. If there is a great beyond, I don't see how there can be one all-encompassing celestial plane called Hell where "wrong doers" are punished for eternity. I mean, honestly, what is the point in that? Also, "sin" is a temporal and relative concept - something that was "sinful" in the 15th century can be perfectly acceptable today. So, on a logical basis, Hell just doesn't stack up. But if I do go, I hope they have really cool T-shirts.

Neural pathways.
Literally ruts in your brain, tracks in your thinking processes which we fall into over and over simply because we are used to thinking in precisely that fashion.
For folks raised in a religion or indoctrinated into one, Neural Pathways are created and made deeper every time they are used, often with great frequency and repitition.
SO, when a person Rationally realizes something different, comes to a different understanding like say the unfeasibility of Hell and a benificent God, their brain might well still fear Hell by simply using the same pathways and creating those feelings even long after the person in question no longer believes in the ascribed place.

You have to make new pathways and that takes time.

Heaven/hell is in your mind

Here's a very good argument as to why the soul can't be real - [agnostic.com]

You will be going to Hell in every other religion, even if you remain a Christian.
Religions with more followers, based on older scripture.

That, and the sheer idiocy of the idea of the Hells have insulated me from the fear of it.