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How can we encourage people to be more honest about their agnosticism?

So many people question the religion in which they were raised, but so few are willing to be public about those questions. Is it mainly because they fear ostracism or rejection by those they love?

greenkitty 4 Apr 20
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21 comments

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4

I say put 'em on the rack! A little stretch on the rack will get the truth out of them!

Sorry. I'm a little jumpy today...

I’d expect you to be a bit more forgiving there brother...some folks need their specific god(s) to tell them everything’s all right. Can’t expect everyone to chill knowing no one is listening to their prayers.

3

To openly declare yourself agnostic or atheist in today's religious climate requires a certain level of courage most do not possess. The courage to lose everyone in your life that matters. The courage to be an outcast among your peers. The courage to stand against the world alone. The courage to face whatever consequences may come, up to and including ridicule, hatred, unemployment, discrimination, character assassination, threats, violence, and even death. And all the while knowing you will not be rewarded after death for your courage.

Coming out these days as a non-believer takes a similar courage to coming out as LGBT was maybe a decade or two ago as far as the non-acceptance, likelihood of rejection and retaliation, not that coming out as either is ever easy these days. Most people don't have the courage and that's why a lot of our society is filled with people that don't have integrity or courage and know they are living a lie in some way by conforming to the mainstream. If most people had that kind of guts, our mainstream values and lifestyles might be very different than what we see now. But most people are more content to conform than be authentic in how they live and how they are known to others.

3

By openly stating that we are Agnostics / Atheists whenever they talk about religion in our presence.

Today I heard at least 10 times "Happy Easter"....to each one I said "Although I am an Atheist I thank you for the good wishes."

3

I think we come out of the closet when we can take pride in our agnosticism/atheism. We need to be clear in our own mind that being evidence based is far superior to being faith based (faith being believing in things without evidence or even when evidence is for the contrary). Faith is illogical and anti-intellectual. It's a fight against ignorance.

2

I never pressure anyone about their religion or lack thereof.

As an atheist, I am tired of Christians trying to convert me and asking the same tiresome, rude questions:

"How can you be a good person with morals without believing in God or going to church?"

"What happens when we die?"

"How did the universe begin?"

As if being an atheist automatically makes me an astrophysicist.

2

I lost half my family. So I would say when there is nothing to lose. Besides we are making more headway than religions. Our numbers keep getting bigger and better.

1

I do not fear ostracism from my friends and family, but I do find myself concerned with the "general public", those whose opinions really should not matter to me. I don't like the feeling of being judged or hated because of my beliefs, so I often avoid the subject matter. I think if we (myself included) were more inclined to be more open with EVERYONE perhaps it would not be such a rare occurance (this discussion of atheism or agnosticism).

1

We could give free cookies to anyone who publicly acknowledges their agnosticism. Just a thought.

1

Slap anyone that says "Jesus" but make sure you say "mosquito" afterwards.

I like it

1

Encourage sounds like forcing things just like religion does. Everyone must become aware and beliefs free by themselves. It's a slow process but I would like to think that eventually everyone will get there.

I will discuss my beliefs if someone ASKS me, but it is not information I would volunteer. I don't like anyone telling me about THEIR religion, so I don't push my lack of belief on anyone either. I am startled, however, by how many people feel their employers would retaliate against them for being agnostic/atheist. I guess because I work for a secular and progressive organization (a university), the "question" of belief or non-belief rarely comes up.

Once, however, I had a co-worker who left a copy of the Quran and a booklet about Pakistan as an introduction to him and what were his key interests. I was pissed off and wanted to counter his action, but decided that handing him a blank piece of paper would not have the "oomph" that I wanted. So I did nothing, hoping that he would get the idea that no one was interested (he had left copies not only for me but a number of other coworkers as well, and NO one wanted to hear about it).

1

I am always so surprised when this happens. Is it only in the US that people are afraid of saying that they are atheists/agnostics? I know that there are countries that will prosecute you if you renounce the religion but in the US that is supposed to be free?

In fact Us is one of the countries where religion is a big problem. Here in Portugal I am free to say that I do not believe in ghosts/god. Nobody cares although many people are religious.

Must be...we have many a uptight folk, especially here in the south

1

Yes, but oncoming generations increasingly don't care about religious status quos. Think how rapidly LGBTQ people gained mainstream approval, despite current GOP setbacks.

Which is so encouraging!

0

There are some cultural elements that need to be considered in some cases, esp. with POC. From my experience, black and Latinx people have a lot of our cultures linked intrinsically to religion. With black Americans, the church is tied to strongly to our ascension from slavery that it's very difficult for us to tell our family and friends that we don't believe in Jesus because it's almost like a betrayal of our history. The most popular Civil Rights figures are religious and because of the limited amount of POC who can actually make things like films and TV, we're generally painted in the same light over and over and that is being super-religious. The same is usually true for Latinx people as well. I've embraced the term "atheist" because I want to normalize the word as something that's not spooky or evil, but from all that I've heard, it's sometimes best not to start with such terms because they scare people who are on the fence. There are more people who just don't believe in god or have lost faith in their religions. I think one of the ways to make space for them is to allow them not use the "a" words until their comfortable, secure, and can handle the backlash they might get from friends and family. I know some people hate terms like "safe spaces" but they're essential to minority communities. It's where we can share resources and ideas without worrying about being outed to our families until we are ready. More spaces like these show non-believers that they're not alone. It's what I needed and I'm guessing it would help others as well.

You've made some excellent points and connections that I agree with completely. Our "membership" in certain groups, by choice or not, are complicated and are affected by history. Just having relocated from Chicago, I'm well aware of the huge role church plays for many POC. That's one reason I was so psyched to find the Freedom from Religion Foudation, because it introduced me to amazing women like Leighann Lord. She combines humor and intelligence in a way that might make the subject of atheism more palatable for some people. My gut tells me it's just a matter of time before this whole topic is less threatening to people. How much time will probably depend upon where you live.

0

It just never comes up. It has never really come up in my life. If you were a believer at one time, who convinced you, you were wrong? I have never heard anyone here say they were converts because someone convinced them it was the way to go. Like myself, I believe people come to this conclusion on there own.

0

In the bible belt, that can lead to a lot of problems. I would likely lose half of my income if I outted myself or it was done for/to me.

That's rough, although I have no doubt it's true. When it'll affect your bottom line with no real payoff for you, you stay quiet. It works the other way too, though. I refuse to eat at Chik fil a, or shop at Hobby Lobby because of how they let their religions negatively affect their employees lives.

0

I also recommend watching Street Epistomology videos with Anthony Magnabosco on Youtube. It may give you some help with having non-threatening conversations with believers.

Thanks! I'll watch them.

0

Same as what worked for the queer community, by being honest, open and authentic about who we are whenever possible. It models for others and encourages them. The more positive visibility we get, just as gays and lesbians got, the more acceptance and less stigma we will have with the public.

0

There's a spectrum of answers but I think to keep the peace is on the high end of it.

0

"agnosticism"
1 - It is difficult to pronounce.
2 - few really understand what the word means, nor its consequences
3 - mostly can't get elected
4 - got parents who will be embarrassed among their friends
5 - got co-workers who should be investigated

Ha! 1) Agreed 2) ditto 3) And isn't that disgusting that to be electable one must keep the status quo...although in the last election not so much 4) Been there, done that 5)Doesn't everyone?

point by point replies on agnosticism
1 Only because it is novel and not widely used. You have to find your own way here without grid reference.
2. It means what is says on the tin. I just don't know any of the things you are telling me>
3. Are those that do get elected any better than us? They just have to sound as if they know what they are talking about . We want only that which is essential to know e.g How to be kind.
4. Many parents are now becoming naturists i.e they are learning to deal with their embarrassment.
5. Only one I agree with you about.

@Mcflewster ag nos ti ci sm 5 syllables!

0

Just let it ride. With a wee bit of hope, some will come around. Seen it in my own lifetime.

0

We can't.
Their fear overwhelms their reason.
Being ostracized and rejected is not fatal.
They don't understand that they can create family for themselves.
It has nothing to do with DNA.
People need get a backbone with this stuff.

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