I've been thinking about sexual desire because I am meeting a new man today.

At age 15, a married man - a family friend- was deeply attracted to me. At gatherings, he pulled me into the shadows to kiss and fondle, groaning about wanting sex with me.

It was confusing. I trusted him. Also felt attracted to him. To my relief, he made the decision for me. Feeling guilty that I was a virgin, he suddenly pulled back.

Desire enters a young girl's life as a sudden force from the outside world, from men and boys, a confusing, overwhelming, and sometimes frightening bombardment that makes it difficult to find the mental space to figure out our own hungers.

At the same time, the belief that a “good” woman should be without appetite, that women’s desires are unseemly or even ugly, has been tenacious, especially among women themselves.

At 16-1/2, I began having sex with my first boyfriend Dave for the first time, a relationship that lasted six years. To my delight, my heightened senses and intensity made sex deeply pleasurable.

With a high sex drive, my body is flooded with oxytocin when I orgasm. It's the same hormone that bonded me with my baby while breastfeeding. Oxytocin has been called the love hormone and the bonding hormone. It’s a dopey, wishful feeling. Darn it!

Questions persist: Will he respect me in the morning? Do I care?

Your thoughts?

Photos: Age 15, ready for a prom with the first boy I was allowed to date. Darryl, 18, asked me to marry him that evening. I was horrified. "I'm going to college," I replied and immediately dumped him.

Rome, Italy during a European art tour with my family. I'm 2nd from the left, age 15.

A man pinched my butt as I ran alone down the steps of St. Peter's Basilica. I felt offended and scared. I had spent too long transfixed by Michaelangelo's Pieta. My family left without me.

Good thing my parents insisted we memorize the name of each hotel! And made us change money into the country's currency. I took a taxi to our hotel and paid with lira.