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What are your pet peeve markers you look for on a first date?

So you finally meet that person for the first time to see if you are compatible enough to go on an extended date. What little pet peeves wind up becoming a deal breaker for you? What weird little habits or features ruin the possibility of seeing this other person as a potential partner you might like to have sex with.

A mole in the wrong place?

Constantly cracking their knuckles?

A tattoo in a conspicous place you believe to be in poor taste?

Now I know we shouldn't let these little things paint our experiences of a whole person within a few minutes of meeting them, yet we cannot deny they exist as a sort of biological red flag in the mating ritual.

What are yours? And do you proceed in spite of them, or do they wind up being part of your reasons to not go forward?

LucifersPen 7 Mar 18
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50 comments (26 - 50)

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2

Talking over me..always..

2

I notice more about what someone chooses to do, or not, rather than something that can't be helped. Ex: She can't help how tall she is, but can help if she lies.

2

So on a first date you're looking for problems? I expect you may remain single for a long time.

... or save a whole lot of wasted time.

Considering I've known women to not date a guy because he didn't have the "right" car, yeah. It goes both ways.

No, no for a problem but for those things you know will hamper the relationship. A guy spoke -while we were having coffee- three times (5 mins each call) with his mother. Needless to say, I never answer his calls again.

@DUCHESSA Obviously there can be red flags and many reasons a first date never turns into a second date. What I was thinking of in my comment is that looking for "markers" seems to be looking for excuses to reject a person based on a per-conceived idea, like if it's a dinner date and she orders an appetizer and a main course, well, forget it.

1

Bad teeth. Sad shoes. Wrinkly shirts. Threadbare pants. Socks with holes. Poor hygiene. Improper grammar. Lacking vocabulary. Unflattering haircuts. Red eyes. Flaky skin. Bad breath.

1

Here are some of the items that have turned me off:
• walking with a previously undisclosed cane
• being rude to servers (in a restaurant)
• conspirancy theories
• racism
• trumpism

1

A lenghty list/;

  • Overly aggressive guys. I don't mind a little knuckle dragging, chest pounding, but to be a walking fight waiting to happen ain't really going to impress me.

  • Out of control hair. A little manscaping is always appreciated.

  • Coming for a hook-up and you haven't showered. Not happening.

  • Arrogance.

  • Guys that can't hold their alcohol. I love drinking and drink copiously when I'm on a bender, but I don't act like a moron unless the situation calls for it.

  • Lateness.

  • Lack of sexual knowledge. I'm not your teacher. Come to the game knowing how to load the bases.

  • Flamers. It just makes the rest of us look bad.

  • Drama queens. I invited you over for fun, not to hear about your issues.

  • Sociopaths. Dated one, didn't go well.

  • Drug addicts. I don't mind weed and booze, but that's as far as it goes. Bringing along your meth pipe is only going to get your teeth knocked out faster than that meth will.

  • Guys who lie about who they are online. I expect to see the picture you sent, not someone twice the edge, and half the height.

1

Using the same one large seemingly intellectual word repeatedly. Such as cognative. I begin to count the times said word is used.
Stress reducing ticks like nail biting, lip chewing, leg bouncing. Run some of that nervous energy off, take a shower & brush your teeth, then take a xanax.
I don't much like when he keeps refreshing his lipstick.
I am learning how to date from the show Millionaire Matchmaker with Patti Sanger. Learning to dress like a tart. I am small in stature so there is not much to go south.

1

I found the biggest problem with online dating is too many out there don't want a partnership or a relationship . Many people join the online dating Community because they need help. My biggest pet peeve is someone who can't take care of themselves. I have met men who live with their mothers at the age of 50. I have met men who live with a roommate but they can't pay their bills etc etc etc

Yeah, I keep hearing this from my female friends and it is something I just do not understand. How can a grown man in his 30s, 40s, or 50s, still be living at home in the very same bedroom he grew up in?

The only valid reason for this is either they are taking care of an elderly parent, or they themselves aren't well enough to live on their own.

@LucifersPen used to be that it was women that were always after a man for money and support. Times have changed! women are very often targeted for their money or financial status by men who are unable to support themselves. I'm off of online dating now ,but I would never put that I was a widow because there's too many sociopaths out there that are thinking life insurance money + lonely off-balance female=home run!

1

Talking about their health issues!

BarbR Level 3 Mar 19, 2018

Yeah, definitely not a first date conversation.

Unless it's something obvious, like "How did you lose your leg?"

1

Deal breakers I've encountered;

1.hitting on the waitress; calling her "sweetie," asking where she goes to school, etc.
2.doesn't do any of the outdoor activities listed on his profile.
3.has no hobbies or interests
4.never reads
5.eats junk food, with zero interest in protecting the environment
6.has tatoos
7.has a big dog he gives the run of his house
8.constantly refers to his ex and/or mom, takes orders from them.
9.has children living at home
10.is on meds
11.is religious, and/or attends church
12.is only separated, not divorced.

1

Sticking their fingers in their mouth...fingernails bitten to the quick. checking their phone or texting

1

Perfume, especially too much. I'm out. I could never figure out how to tell someone l don't like the fragrance they are wearing. Just smell like a person. Older women seem to do that more than younger women.

1

A woman who interupts and finishes my sentences.

It occurs to me I do that a lot actually. I'm gonna work on that lol

@LadyAlyxandrea Thank you for your affirmation.

0

Children in school age. As soon as I find his kids are teenagers / younger I find my way out of him asking me for a date.

0

Bad breath! Garlic and onions are a big turn-off for me.
Poor grammer is unacceptable.
I am not a fan of tattoos. I have never seen anyone with a tattoo that made them look better.
Having said that, I understand people getting tattoos that have a deep meaning of someone they lost in their life.

ebdb Level 7 Apr 7, 2018
0

Bad hygiene (body odor, unbrushed teeth, etc), dirty clothes (unless he's just coming in from manual labor), teeth are a big issue for me (missing teeth, or teeth that are "different"?) I'm not sure how to explain the last one, but I met a man once who seemed really nice but I couldn't get beyond his teeth. They were really large and just reminded me of a horses teeth. "Strong, silent type" doesn't work for me. I like people who talk and you don't have to pull each word out of them. Racist/sexist/or any other ist. Trump supporter or pretty much any Republican.

0

I don't like moles or tats, and moles are not "beauty marks." Even so, nobody is perfect and none of this is a "deal breaker." I guess my worst pet peeve is people that talk and use thier hands as quote marks for what they are saying. Totally ridiculous there, but today it gets me to laughing when I see this. Quote marks are for paper, silly.

0

When a guy is stuck on himself I will listen but it won't go forward. Lack of: integrity and compassion.
Otherwise, I am no Seinfeld: dress how you want, wear your hair how you want, be comfortable with yourself.

0

Open-mouthed chewing, smoking, and mumbling. I'm hard of hearing and have been all my life. Speak up or fork over the 4500 bucks for the hearing aids I'd need.

I don't care about phone use. But I really dislike people sitting on their ass in front of a computer or game console for hours on end every day.

Costco has the best hearing tests, their people Do Not work on commission, and complete hearing aids with hookup to your Smartphone are $1499.

0

Ilook at them from the moment Ispot someone Imay like.

0

Don't "super size" their meal and don't drink the entire case of beer.

0

Wedding rings, too much phone use, Religious symbols, feminism, not an animal lover, very poor speech, excessive jewelry, high maintenance, sports car, racist, not adequately educated, has never had a job, working too much, excessively tied to parents / kids / friends, non-environmentalist, belief in craziness, talking about ex's. I think that is it.

0

Gossip, thug\ghetto mentality, poor conversationalist.

0

Interrupting

0

I'm not a full germaphobe, but I'll notice if she washes her hands before eating. To handle the menu, doors, etc that all the ass scratching nose picking people handled before, then eat is not the one I am looking for. < that's #1.

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