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Do we ever really, "settle down"?

Do we ever really find our "place" in life, and settle down? Or are we always changing, and moreso just constanly developing the tools to deal with said change until we die?

Airego 4 Mar 20

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Maybe we don't settle down as much as we settle in...or come to a place where we are content with what life brings to us instead of searching for what else is out there...I also don't think settling in or down is to suggest that we don't continue to learn or grow or evolve as a person...I think maybe it's just a different mindset...

I think you stated it well.

@Donotbelieve Thanks!


I wonder if most Americans ever really "Grow up".


A little of both. We are constantly evolving into different versions of ourself, some better, some worse, always gaining new intelligence and passions. I do think we settle down as we age, but settling doesn't mean stagnating.


I'm 73 and think everybody is different, but change is inevitable, even at the microscopic level. Our telemeres shorten throughtout our lives, until we die. Though, scientists think they may slow aging to make us live a very long time. We also learn and change, some more than others. Our interacting on the internet and chatting with fellow agnostics seems to have great effect on some members, who tell us how thankful they are for being here. Of course, Donald the Dumpster has changed some of us, perhaps all. I have become more interested and active politically because of him. Yes, we change and change. Some of us hate it and some love it, but change is inevitable.


From my seat here in old should never settle down! And yes, I am still evloving and adjusting and trying to make myself useful! We must reinvent ourselves ever so often, and we must always keep stretching our mind even as we head out of the life cycle! Why shouldn't we exit with our own full corporation? It surely isn't written any place, that we must "creep' out, when we choose to exit this life!


I guess it depends on what one means by "settle down." I'm settled in, I guess, but I really have no idea what I'm doing in life. Some people seem to have it all figured out, like they received a manual to life somewhere along the way. I think my copy is on backorder.

You and me both


I always feel yes, I have settled, and am quite content until life thows some issues at me and I have to start all over again.


I think it's an internal struggle between the need to be curious and explore and the anxiety of feeling disconnected and in free fall. Each person has their own b as Lance point.


If you're lucky!


I think what works for some isn't the norm for every one.
The quest of reason and knowledge can be very unsettling but I wouldn't have it any other way.

Emile Level 5 Mar 22, 2018

Settling down sounds like conditioning which is the main reason we seem to go to school.


Our bodies are constantly changing as we age.As we experience and learn, our minds and their cognitive structures are changing. The environments in which we live are also changing. Either we accomodate and adapt, or we become helpless victims of change itself.

That is the dilemma of conservatives. They want the world to stand still or revert back to an earlier state so that they do not have to cope with change. By trying to make time stand still, they victimize themselves and try to impose their battle with change on the rest of us.


I have spent the last eight years in the same house with 2 of my children and my daughter's children. So much goes on in our house that it never feels like anything is settled much less settled down. But we basically love the busy noisy life we have and together we make up one big family unit.


Yes, but most often it’s temporary… I’d settled on family land, for over 3 decades … and can still hear my former wife’s ‘sing-song’ statement of, “Thing’s change”.. Yup, and eventually I hit the road. In a new place, I’m settling in nicely ..though scarred by my previous uprooting. But as some saying goes, to know anywhere, you must first know somewhere. I at least knew somewhere ~

Varn Level 8 Mar 20, 2018

It is a constant change we live. Our emotions spin out of control sometimes and then we experinece bliss the next moment. Our mind continues to seek out balance and peace. We will never stop thinking until we die..

EMC2 Level 8 Mar 20, 2018

I thought I had. But then that place changed. So I’ll have to un-settle and find a new place. It happens.


I have.


Soon I will be 70.. more changes in my life in the last 10 years than in the previous 30, and I am sure more to come! so far, really Good changes too


I think a bit of both, actually. The amount of change, and what one considers factors of contentment, most likely lessens with time as we tend to understand ourselves better. Still room to explore and change, however.


Depends on the person. I think ideally a person should want the best of both worlds... some stability with room to grow and learn.


At 20, in college I kept changing my major well into my senior year. No friggin idea what I wanted to do with my life and who I wanted to spend it with. Met my husband at the school bar and six months later I've graduated and he's moved in with me and my girlfriend. Six months later we get married. You go through stages in life. He finally graduates after you rewrite his rejected thesis. You move around for seven years for his career and you're still figuring out your career path. Then you have a baby at 29-he's 33. Its all changing. Child has cerebral palsy -more changes. The game of life. We play it best we can.


I have "settled down" a few times. Then unsettled. Marriage just doesn't seem to be in cards for me, if that's one of the parameters of settling down. I view marriage, basically, as a religious institution created to benefit the church, and men, in particular. I have lived in So Cal the majority of my life, with a few (or several) months spent on other states, but most of my life has been here. I no longer own a house, those generally went when the marriages dissolved, nor do I any longer desire to. I crave learning, and often with learning comes change. Like anyone else, I resist some change, but understand it is inevitable in some circumstances.

I certainly do not expect to remain in my current situation for more than, perhaps, another year. My last "relationship" ended about 9 months ago, and I left a very large portion of my belongings there when I left. The residence wasn't mine, so I left the furniture and many other possessions as I didn't want to deprive her of those items, and I also didn't want to drag a bunch of "stuff" with me and have to store it in some non-descript facility that I'd have to drive miles to get to just to try to find something I don't truly need.


We may become more content in some areas, but life is change and -hopefully-we continue to adapt and evolve and grow until we die.


Excellent question, and the short answer is no. I have more of a sense of place than when I was younger, but continue to evolve. To say otherwise is to imply that it's possible to arrive, to be incapable of further improvement.

To me it's a problem of the human brain being far more sloppy and inconsistent and prone to misperception than most people (want to) realize. In between my ears is a mental model of reality. When I was young that model was so inaccurate that I was the constant recipient of unplesant surprises. That model has improved, the density of surprises has decreased greatly. But it is still woefully inadequate to the task of coping with what life throws at me. People still baffle me. Life still surprises me.

The only reason old people appear to be more Zen or "settled" is because they withdraw and become indifferent. They get tired of living. Do not think they have arrived, though.


I moved again in August 2017 after 8 years.

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