Julio is taking care of his family. That makes him a pretty damn valuable human being. As a society, Americans put more value on people's financial worth than we do on who they are. Indeed, even our own self-esteem is predicated on how much we earn, how much we own.@LiterateHiker, you had nothing to be ashamed of when you worked in retail, but your shame is exactly testament to how much this capitalist mindset ingrained in us from our childhood. As a man, my financial success, lack thereof, or perceived/relative lack thereof, has weighed on me much of my adult life. Some years ago, I messaged a woman on a dating site. She responded condescendingly about my income range, shaming me for contacting her because she earned more than I. Capitalism kills our hearts and poisons our minds.

It is normal, life is hard. I know many men and women just like this. I was also in the telecon business for 7 years , and highly paid. After 9/11 that industry collapsed. I had two children one in high school and one in college. My wife was a teacher ( and still is), that paid enough money to keep food on the table but not the mortgage and bills. After 11 months and as unemployment ran out I started at a new position. It was 50% less money. It was enough to keep the house.

I was 44 years old, and selling door to door. I got good at what I did, and was promoted , after a number of years, I was quite successful, and no longer selling door to door. I was paying cash for my children's college, because I didn't want them to have college loans.

Then the economy collapsed because of the subprime mortgage debacle. This directly impacted my job, by now I was 51. When they laid off 75% of the sales people in my company, I got a promotion. But I saw the writing on the wall and knew that there would be no money to be made for years untl the industry recovered.

I started over, again at 51. Selling financial technology software. My colleagues were all in their 20s and 30's and openly questioned my ability and relevance. In two years, I became the #1 sales professional. I held that spot for over 11 years. The technology and industry is evolving at a dizzying pace, and this year at 63, it looks like the first time in my professional life, I won't hit my goal. The first time I won't make Presidents Club.

I had planned to retire at 62 and now am some 13 months past that date. When I look back, I can absolutely commiserate with this gentlemen and others. Each step of the way, we make choices and seek to survive and move on. I make sure, I help every displaced professional I know with networking and job introductions. When I needed that, there was no one for me. One of my small joys in life is the number of people I helped and how many bounced back.

I hope Julio keeps at it and finds a fulfilling position. I hope everyone does.

Handsome guy who uprooted his life to be close to his children. That is admirable.

This is a perfect example of why a college education isn't the "investment" it
used to be. It's also a really great example of how being dedicated to maintaining
a career is damned near impossible for many people in this economy.

It USED to be that a person could get a job with a company, right out of school,
work there for decades and then retire from the same company.
It is NOT like that anymore. Those kinds of jobs don't really even exist anymore.
Unfortunately, too many people (okay, older people) haven't recognized, or
accepted, that is no longer the case.

These days, people are taking the work they can get.
All 50 states are "At-Will" employment states. Any employer can fire anyone,
at any time, for any reason, with virtually no consequences.
Wrongful termination has become increasingly harder to prove.

This has ALL been by design.

As for the dichotomy created by some women still expecting men to be
responsible for "taking care of" them, while still demanding equality,
I've got nothin'.
I don't understand that particular hypocrisy.
Maybe because I've been at this life thing for a while and I've seen firsthand
how it simply doesn't work that way in reality.
I've seen women who want it both ways, and how spectacularly it usually fails.
I've also seen men who insist that particular scenario is what they want, too.
It just doesn't work. It's a new age. The old ways of doing things no longer work.
As I am fond of saying, the "good old days" never really existed.
Mindsets are tough to change.

I wish Julio good luck. Just like I do the rest of us.

They don't because the system has brainwashed the masses to blame themselves. It keeps them from blaming those in power. This is a textbook example of what Chomsky referred to in his famous essay, Manufacturing Consent.

I see absolutely no shame in what people need to do for a living. The people who should be ashamed are the ones who put them down for it. My respect for someone has nothing to do with what someone does, but for who they are as a person, and I have a lot less respect for anyone who would judge them.

From a guy’s perspective, I would worry if she was doing something she enjoyed or was stuck in a lifeless path and also her financial security. It is one thing if you’ve been dating for a while to help out financially, that shouldn’t be an issue, but three months in or constantly would be concerning.

Obviously, the US has lost a lot of good, full-time jobs. Some is due to closings, some to moving jobs off-shore. What burns me, is when companies move jobs for cheaper labor, then proceed to over pay the executives. Or buy back stock, which mostly helps the executives and to a lesser extent the shareholders. I’m not sure if the unions could have saved some of the jobs or not. There is a correlation between the drop in union membership and loss of benefits and wage stagnation.

It is amazing how people survive doing gigs. I don’t know how they do it. Talk about financial insecurity - you don’t what, if anything you’ll be paid that week. How the hell are you supposed to budget? I’d be in the nuthouse after the 1st month. Many Americans suffer from financial insecurity- they don’t have a consistent paycheck.

Been there, got laid off at 54 and thought about getting one of those gigs but I was lucky to find another good job in a different type of industry, still completely lined up with my line of work. I had to compromise though, moving out of town weekdays.

How is the gig economy and upward mobility mutually exclusive? I’m benefiting greatly from both sides of the gig economy and have never been more upwardly mobile.

I'm an adjunct professor. I understand. People around me seem to understand too.

The "gig economy" is in for a rude shock if Sanders bill gets passed as it will allow gig workers like those working for Uber and Lyft to unionize and reclassify them to end the exploitation they are now facing on a daily basis.... If his version of the green new deal gets passed they estimate as many as 20 million new good paying jobs for the next 10 years at least....

I have to go back to work after 7 years retirement to be able to afford my own apartment. Can't live on Social Security.

I will never understand that mentality. I can take care of me, all i need is for him to take care of him. Sure in a committed relationship you help each other and strive toward the same goal, but pull your weight. Nothing wrong with gigs. Especially if you've figured out a way to make it stable for you. i've known many people who've made it work. They have some real hustle.

I think that may be a generational thing that is slowly shifting, especially in the non-religious communities.... boomers and Gen X'ers women would have been raised by older generations to follow gender norms/roles and part of that is the man being the bread winner. Also, as a POC he may face more obstacles in the dating realm thanks to unconscious biases and racism in the dating market... it is statistically proven and research verified... so if he tries to date outside of his race it may be more difficult for him.

I tried the online dating scene though it was never me, I like face to face, chance,... I agree with Julio, all these women independent or partneship want to spend my money not theirs. And, the comment that really gets me is when they say, "if you're not paying for me then you're not a "real man" ." I was wondering what a real man is today... then what is a real woman?

I've been working remotely on and off for over 10yrs and love it. Occasionally someone asks me what I do and I tell them. They almost always reply "Oh, so you're not working". Working remotely or in companies that sub-contract (like Uber) takes a lot more self-control and responsibility than working in traditional jobs because you make your own hours (usually). If I don't make my 20-30 hours a week it's on ME.

I guess it depends on how you define "gig economy". It isn't 100% exploitive things like driving for Uber 80 hours a week and still having trouble clearing minimum wage and making your car payments. I've been an independent consultant doing software development for over 30 years and it has been a very good and stable income and satisfying work. I've always been fortunate to be able to support my family single-handed, although I haven't always had to. We are debt-free and able to help others.

So I don't see anything inherently wrong or stigmatic about "working for the gig economy". I will say that you have to work very hard not to get taken advantage of -- more so in some industries than in others. Even in software development, it's easy to get involved in "death march" projects and it's not uncommon to be hired into some troubled project to take the fall for someone else. I've had a lot of experience detecting and avoiding such situations, is all. Ageism is a problem too, although I haven't personally experienced it (yet). And discrimination against women is rampant in my industry. Nothing's without its problems in life though. Working for The Man has its problems too.

My 2nd wife was at first not psychologically comfortable with me not having a traditional job / salary / retirement package and so forth. As the years wore on and we enjoyed reliable income and she saw many friends in traditional jobs lose their livelihoods, she came to see that employers are no longer loyal and committed to their employees anyway. Whether you're a W2 or 1099 worker is almost beside the point. Even people who pursue traditional employment are somewhat nomadic anymore; millennials change jobs every year or three and consider it lame not to -- they are always looking to leverage their way into a better job (or should I say, "gig"?). And they're smart enough to consider job satisfaction and pressure and meaningfulness and not just raw dollars.

Not all experiences with on-line dating are negative. I met my better half on the Yahoo singles site 13 years ago and we are still going strong. Oh, there have been a few bumps in the road, but overall, we respect, love and care for each other.

Women have progressed, but their expectations of men have not. They still expect us to be provider and protector.

Correction- Julio is 50 years old.

Are you pimping for Julio now?