I don't think it's intentionally sexist, it's just outdated. It's one of those old traditions society has yet to shake off stemming from days when women didn't work or generate income.

Paying for a woman , on a date , is not about chivarly . Paying for a woman is showing her that you will make a good mate , because , as a part of child bearing and raising , she will be required to depend on her mate for support . She needs to know if you will be generous towards her and your child , or if , for instance , instead of supporting her and the infant , when she is most vunerable , and unable to support herself and the infant , you are going to take the money and run .

A culture of universal civility is preferred to a culture of universal chivalry.

Chivalry doesn't have to be exclusive to one gender. I often open doors for men and extend similar courtesies. Kindness is good from any direction.

Benevolent sexism. These things/behaviors have roots in the idea that women are fragile and need to be cared for; ergo they are sexist. Plus if you have to play into stereotypes, you can assume it isn't for good reasons.

None of my examples were as relative as yours. Didn't depend on competence either so if your trying to make a point out of this it's a blatant straw man and false equivocation fallacy. In terms of a formal debate the definition is always made clear and the definition is stated by the person that is debating not the dictionary, you can use the dictionary for support but what the person means by what they say should ultimately be the parameters that you argue on. If someone has a debate about God their definition of God must be stated, different people mean different things by words. Richard Dawkins original Meme and the memes you see on Facebook are the same word but different meaning. My elaboration of what I ment should have been reasonable to any reasonable person. Words change in meaning my love if not the the phrase 'chivalry is dead' would have been popular in the 15th century when the knight was obsolete.

Just saying
@BlueWave

The next time l'm in a car with a woman and we have a flat and she tells me to stay in the car while she changes the tire, l will buy into this bullshit. I'm really bored with selective equality. Do women really want to go into court with a 50/50 chance of getting custody of the kids? Fuck no! Why do millions of women vote for Republicans when they don't believe in equal pay or control of their own reproductive system. Why don't you work on your own gender before jumping on our asses for stupid shit like opening a fucking door? There will never be an end to the battle of the sexes. I have come to the conclusion men and women are barely the same species.

Simple logic I use until someone rebuts it's
Preferencial treatment towards a race = racist
Preferential treatment towards a sex = sexist

That's why men are called masoginosts when they say comments like 'women's role is in the kitchen and bed' such comments in public would lead to dismissal in most western workplaces.
Women treat men as if our 'role' is as a bill taker. The similarities is in the one sided view of it. If it was genuinely equal, and that's the buzzword for feminists right. Then we would have a consencious that we should always pay for ourselves unless a person is giving us a gift. Social pressure has done this to men and they should call it what it is sexism.

It is and I do that beacuse I believe every woman beautiful and deserve all respect specially after long history of neglected and treated her bad.

As I will regularly hold doors for women, men who look like they have their hands full, or anybody coming into a place right before or after me - I just view that as being a kind and considerate person. As to 'who pays' for a date - depends on who asks who out and what the situation is.

I never expect a woman to be passive when it comes to the 'dating game', but one fact of life is that women (IMO) generally need to be more selective about whom they chose to be intimate with than we men do. The consequences for women in making a bad dating or relationship choice can be quite a bit more significant than for men. So - most of the time men do kind of have to take the lead, at least when things are just getting started.

So ? Good Manners are important.

Chivalry is TOTALLY sexist. That's why she should open doors for him every once in a while, pay for her own meals, and then when y'all get married he can wear the dress, and she can carry you inside on your honeymoon.

a million years ago when i worked for the department of justice, on the mazelike sixth floor, i didn't sit at a desk all day. i had to get up and go all over the place for various reasons (and sometimes down to the plush fifth floor, where the attorney general's offices were, but that's another story). on the sixth floor there were many hallways, with heavy glass doors at either end of them. i would sometimes run into people from my own little section in those hallways. one was a young man who hailed from my own birthtown, philadelphia, so i felt a vague affinity for him, but he did one annoying thing every time we bumped into each other (not literally). he HAD to hold the door open for me. it didn't matter if i was half a hallway ahead of him. he would run past me to open the door. god forbid (what IS it with english, anyway, with all the religious references?) a woman should touch a door handle! if my hands were full, fine, he'd open the door, but if his were full and mine were not, too bad, i had to stop at the door and wait for him to shift things around and open the door for me. he'd actually get mad if i opened a door for myself and madder still if i opened one for him.

it's not as if he used his penis to open the damned door!

g

I voted ''not sure'' because the idea of ''chivalry'' is a very old concept, begun long before the idea of what's ''racist'' and does it even matter?

I want to treat people the way I like being treated. That's about it.

Having been raised by my mother (my father took off when I was 4) and with two sisters and an involved grandmother, my training in the treatment of the opposite sex was female-centric, and included what might be called 'chivalric' traditions. And at the risk of appearing boastful, my upbringing of putting women first appears to have influenced my romantic life, when it comes to instigation and satisfaction.

Only if you want to make an issue out of it

Chivalry as you describe it is sexist, yes. It did not used to be. Chivalrous acts were not always associated with gender. It was just a code of morality and ethics for knights. Old school Chivalry is awesome... new school "gendered" chivalry is just patronizing. You can pay for a dude's dinner and hold the door for him too... It's just as chivalrous.

Also... A lot of folks in the comments start with something like: "The origin of Chivalry is benevolent sexism..." or something to that effect... No it isn't. Look it up. You wil be surprised to find no references to gender one way or another. The gendered understanding is entirely a new imposition of modern culture... it has no ingrained root with the origin of chivalry itself.

I mean, if you want to really get technical... is it even possible to be chivalrous, without a horse?

It is only sexist if you never accept a woman treating you with the same sort of manners.

I think it's a matter of respect and good manners. Haven't men had enough breaks? I think if you treat your woman like a queen, in most cases, she will reciprocate and if not, what have you lost?

Hmm, I think your definition is an interpretation of the meaning. I looked it up: "the sum of the ideal qualifications of a knight, including courtesy, generosity, valor, and dexterity in arms". This was a medieval concept, back when knights were warriors and abided by a code of behavior so as not to abuse their authority over those who were not warriors, which notably included women. Your definition is a derivative of the original meaning, and yeah it's probably sexist in the context of current society. In the context of the times when it was developed, no it wasn't.

I have to admit, I am uncomfortable with a man holding the door open for me. I always hold the door open for women though if they are near. If a woman held the door open for me I'd probably laugh but I would thank her. I'm actually trying to train myself to open car doors for my wife but I'm still working on it. It has always impressed me when husbands do that for their wives. I think that acting like a gentleman is one of the best things about being male.

I guess it depends on your motivation. I was raised to place a ladies needs before my own and I never feel sexist when I do. But there have been times when I felt I was imposing my "chivalry" on the women around me whether I knew them or not.

Coming from a generation where liberation of freedom was important and women were going out and doing their own thing, they still liked being treated like a lady. It's a dammed if you do, dammed if you don't sort of thing going on with this. Each woman has her own way to show she is independent and can stand on her own two feet but when it comes to dating and going out, most women, not all, do like to feel special and appreciated. If a guys makes an effort in ways to do that, it keeps the romance alive as well.

Its nice and feels good to be treated like a lady. No objections. I would not object to meeting someone with those values.

Why do people act like they don't get my point when I say the word chivalry, I mean MEN towards WOMEN exclusively. Not if your a woman being polite to both genders not if your a man that is polite to everyone. The common status quo of men's expectations in the here & now (Not the medieval age). That is favourable to the courting of women. When you hear the phrase chivalry is dead does any one actually think "umm... do you mean warfare etiquette??"

I appreciate the answers but c'mon guys stop being so obtuse.