I tend to enjoy solitude. That is not to say I don't feel lonely sometimes, but fortunately not terribly often.

I love having company and I can talk just anything. I also know how to be alone.

I will also admit sometimes I feel lonely as well. Funny thing is the only one item that applies is #1. Everything else I have plenty of but sometimes familarity breeds boredom. It would be nice to have more variety and an occasional someone else to spend time and commune with. I like to drive and wouldn't even mind an occasional road trip. Odd, I sometimes feel lonely but also need alone time to feel free! A real conundrum.

After I broke up with my second, long term partner I was glad to be alone and found a great social group. We were all single and did things from hiking, potlucks, movies and travel so I didn't feel lonely. Another person came along and she was nice but I could see the relationship becoming boring in the long run. The next one was totally unsuitable as an intimate friend but, after over 20 years (she is now married) we are still friends. She lives in another city but I commute to visit. My big problem is that my last long-term relationship was so great I have gotten spoiled and miss a certain intimacy I haven't gotten in my local, albeit active, community.

It would be interesting if you turned this into a poll. With the six categories as choices. Easier to differentiate the choices, from the comments.

1 and 2 here. I am putting myself out there and have made friends here on Agnostic and even visited a fellow member.

I relate to the difficulty of connecting with others when you're single. I've had periods like that, experiencing what I call the "fifth wheel effect". It doesn't help to intellectually understand why it happens. It still sucks how people run in mindless packs based on commitments around things like marital or social status.

Oddly I had a male friend where I used to live, and he and his wife sort of adopted me as an unofficial family member after my prior wife's death, sometimes even going to the movies with me, and it seemed the most natural thing in the world. However, what he saw as the things we had in common, apparently was mostly living in the same community. Once I moved away, he was only minimally interested in keeping in touch or visting even though I would look him up when I was in the 'hood (happened once a year due to business obligations). Or maybe there was subconscious pity for my unchosen singleness; my moving away was coincident with being in a new relationship.

This year I did not look him up and he did not inquire about it. I let it die a natural death. I have learned to do that when there's not reciprocity and balance and loyalty in a relationship.

Lith-Ike, Can't help you with 1 or 2.

But, I know this website is great for 4.

I've made quite a few friends in less than three months. I wish I knew what the average IQ was here, because everyone here is so thoughtful and and a terrific communicator.

I read recently, on here I think, that intelligence is more intimidating to men than anything else. I don't have that problem and I don't think anyone else here does.

It might be time to move somewhere where you've like minded people. You don't sound happy where you are.

I am not lonley. I'm also not a 146 IQ. I'm equally not an idiot. I am giving volunteer English classes to immigrants at the local community centre. It's really rewarding.

I have intellectual loneliness.

I'm lonely only because too many women have high standard.

@LiterateHiker -- Well, my friend, I can tell you right now that IQ has little or nothing to do with your dilemma. I have been alone a great deal. I have been lonely on extremely rare occasions and for very short periods.

I suggest you take your mind off of how intelligent you are and begin to focus on what psychological factors figure into your personal problem, then set about doing what can be done to eliminate or ameliorate them.

Your list of 1 through 6 could be reduced to the condition we call loneliness resulting from any one or combination of situations to which the individual is subjected. The end result is the same, but the problem is internal.

By the way, you can't stand in a rainbow.

Everyone is lonely to some extent -- even those that are married often have a hard time sharing their deepest, fears and desires. This forum is a godsend to many of us - there are others like "me" out there - and I don't feel quite as lonely knowing that.

I suffer from one, two, four, and six.

All 6 apply in far too many ways. This site does help w/ #4 & #2 to a certain extent, but it is still, by its nature, impersonal. Some of it is my fault, I isolate, outcome of chronic pain & chronic depression. But the emptiness seems blacker & deeper all the time & can be nigh near suffocating. I've lived with the depression since I can remember, & the pain for over a decade. I am the major caregiver for my 88 yo Mother, so that keeps me anchored, but that is one of the only things. I enjoy learning, experiencing & satisfying my curiosity, but that seldom balances the blackness. When my Mom goes, that may be the last anchor. Time will tell.

Wanting to share one's life is a delicate thing, I think. While I tremendously enjoy being out in nature, recreating in one form, or another (I actually crave it), I also desire the closeness and intimacy of a mutually respectful, loving relationship. The one relationship (a marriage) I've had that got anywhere close to including both of those desired circumstances ended with infidelity on her part. So, that was something of a disappointment. It has made me somewhat doubtful as to the prospects of that ever happening.

So, I experience a kind of loneliness of not being able to share and mutually enjoy my outdoor experiences greatly. With a number of relatively long term relationships behind me, that one ideal coupling has never been fully realized for me. I enjoy hiking, but mountainbiking is my "raison d'etre." I feel at this time that I, literally, cannot live without it. It has been the one constant in my life for some 26 years, during which I have, at times, very deeply immersed myself.

In terms of the enumerated stages above, I guess #'s 1 and 6 might apply, even though l do not feel that my demise is imminent. I do, however, remind myself almost daily that this day, indeed, this very moment, could be my last.

Some one and some four, but I tolerate it pretty well. I see it, acknowledge it, and get distracted by more interesting thoughts. (did I mention I spend all day on some stupid website?)

I can honestly say, none of the above.
There are friends I miss seeing regularly, but that's only because we don't live near one another.
I don't feel lonely, and being alone is not a problem.

Am I lonely = Yes. I wuld really like to have that special lady in my life, but I do not think that will happen. I spend a lot of time alone, but also enough time with other people with whom I am generally on friendly terms. No intellectual stimulation. I have given up seeking intellectual stimulation, intelligence can be a curse, I will just say I am being lazy and maybe my IQ has dropped a little in the past 10 years. Not enough to make a big difference I am down 18 points due to aging, but still have noone to hold a decent discussion with on topics that interest me.
I stay very busy, finding shells on the beach gardening, playing with my animals is just as good for me as redesigning the local energy systems and networks, which is what I have in front of me at the moment. I have female company for bushwalks, conferences, coffee dates, I even have better than ocassional sex, not regular, but I am not climbing the walls = YET!.
None of this means I am not lonely, just not alone. I am just accepting that with turning 60 in a couple of minths, it is too late and I am too fussy, as are my potential mates.
BTW Love your Paul Simon take.

I didn't think I was lonely, until I read your preamble. I think I'm so used to 1. It's not a big deal, I've chosen it over being unhappy in a relationship. Time will tell if that will change.
3. I do get homesick for Australia, but when I'm there I miss friends in England; so can never, 'have it all'.
4. I miss my more intelligent and in synch friends, but this site is good. There are many people and comments that I can relate to and I'm learning, which I love.
5. Yes, I've suffered trauma, but I don't necesarily feel alone in that and am somewhat reconciled with it. But it does confuse people when they realise that I don't have a lucrative income as I'm not great with stress.
6. I know I'll die, I need to update my will again. Have a nice cardboard casket picked out with a floral print and a plot in some woodlands, so that's pretty much sorted. I miss my dead friends. A bizarre existance, but a beautiful one much of the time.
I hope you find some volunteer work or a better place to be where you won't feel as lonely Literate Hiker.

My parents died when I was a teen. This affected me psychologically and I had great feelings of not being a part of something even though I come from a large family. I struck out on my own and tried to find where I belong. It was very difficult but I believe I have come into my own person which is probably why this group is attractive. Then I found after I got therapy that I grew up with ADHD and depression and such. That couldn't have helped either.

Sometimes your intelligence prevents you from "playing the game". It does me, anyway. I have the ability to attract a woman but when it gets down to silly sophomoric protocol I just find it demeaning. I want to say just what I feel, the attraction, the real feelings and also the apprehension. I feel all should be up front, I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings but I want them to be where I'm at. My feeling cannot be hurt.

Yeah, but am trying real hard to give myself space and keep out of any type of commitment until I get my mind right.

I have many reasons for feeling alone. But I don't.

I used to, before I acknowledged my male side in 2014, named him, and allowed him to "exist." I felt alone and lost all my life, although I was raised in a loving family, surrounded by siblings and friends. I also felt that way when married, with two children. But after I allowed myself to love my male side and accepted it, the loneliness was eased.

I do have many reasons for feeling alone, however:

1.high IQ. I don't think like most people I know.

2.I'm multicultural/multilingual. I grew up in Haiti with American parents and a French/African culture with European friends, and friends from the Domican Republic, across the border from Haiti. So I grew up speaking French, Creole, Spanish, and English.

3.I'm part Native American, and share many of their attitudes and beliefs, almost instinctlively. As a "two spirit," I would have been trained as a shaman in my Cherokee tribe.

4.I'm demisexual, panromantic, androgynous, nonbinary, and partially transmale. That means that I don't strongly identify with either gender, but see myself more as a blend. Also, I'm not sexually attracted to anyone of any gender, until after over a year together.

5.I'm over 65 years old.

6.I have strong psychic powers. I have to block myself from the thoughts and feelings of others but there is always some "leakage."
That's why I like being in Thailand..all those peaceful feelings of being one with the universe sooth me.

I’m not sure if I’m lonely or I just enjoy being alone. I’m an introvert and being around people is exhausting for me. But I have major depression and worry I take it too far and am actually isolating.

Besides my parents I don’t have a lot of people in my life. I quit drinking and as a result, I’ve lost friends. It’s a fine line that I’m traveling on and probably needs further looking into.

I am. I completely understand, being a gay Humanist raising children alone in the deep south.... It is grating. I also live in a military town, so the idea of making friends doesn't even cross my mind anymore.... Everyone leaves. And yes, they all are married and I can't relate. I'm single. I'll be 29 in a few months and it's starting to dawn on me that this meat suit I walk around in isn't ever going to get better looking.... I'm an inch away from having sex with the next girl who touches my arm but I guess I'd have to go to some club to find that and I hate clubs. We need a humanist meet and greet bookshop for goodness' sake! I fill my intellectual loneliness on the internet with like minded people. The rest, I fill the void with Netflix, photography, wine, and sleep. Sleep is the only place I'm not ridiculously lonely.