I've got 1, 5 in spades, and being a 20+ year southern state expat a touch of 3.
I stumbled into a community that gives me just enough purpose and emotional satisfaction that I'm mostly ok with my solitude, for now anyway. Attempting to slowly rebuild my life after the shock of 5.

I've been divorced since October 2016 after 33 years of marriage. We actually separated in 2014. I'd be lying if I said I never get lonely (I do) but as an introvert, the solitude is not so bad for me. So, #1 applies to me, as does #4. That's one reason I'm on this site--to interact with other intelligent people, as I find non-theists to be (in general) more intelligent than religious people. Of course there are always exceptions, and I enjoy debate with those people. I work with people all day, so when I come home it's fine to just interact with my daughter (or both daughters, if it's my turn to have the youngest with me). I'm learning to enjoy the solitude, and though I would like to have a relationship at some point, I'm OK by myself.

I am 65, live alone (since 1998) with my cat, dog, mustang horse and donkey, am permanently single by choice, and I have learned to truly enjoy my separateness from others. There are times, however, when I do hunger for intellectual stimulation/interaction and a gay community since I live a fairly reclusive life in the country, in Texas, where it is very republiCon, and very bible belt. Fortunately, there are places like this website where one may interact for some intellectual play.

I have often felt as you so ably describe... I would say I suffer from all 6 types of loneliness on a bad day... Fortunately most of my days are good tho I live in a very isolated place, so it’s just as well ....

When I tied regular dating sites - id meet a nice girl (this happened at least about a dozen times) and everything was going well a few of them had fallen hard for me very soon and we were soo happy - but the subject of religion had never come up? When it finally did and I told them I don't believe in god? they dumped me like I had the plague - the hypocrites? They don't even follow their own religious rules? but the fact that I don't believe in god? was a reason to end a potentially really great relationship = its such a stupid reason to not want to date someone that might be a awesome partner or maybe even ur soulmate - ready to give up

Was married 27 years. She hid being an alcoholic for 15. The lsdt 3 she refused any source of help and it became clear many of our problems were caused by her making opportunities to drink or being under the influence. So now I am 47, atheist, non smoker, no drugs, and not super liberal. I stay busy during the week. But there is a big whole in my life and weekends are hard. Dating is hard because I have only ever known one woman and I don't know how much of what I liked or wanted was based on lies.

I am absolutely enamored with this post. I'll contemplate it on my way home. -Ron

I empathize with your situation. Unfortunately, people think I'm much of the time.

I've been through most of these in the last 8 years. I'm a 4 now. I've used my extrovertedness to break away from some aspects of feeling lonely, but it's just been a long act I've been putting on since I was in highschool.
Am I tired of the act? Not yet.
Am I hopeful I'll find like-minded friends and sexual partners? Yes...hopefully sooner than later.

I have begun to realize that when I'm not able to be "myself" in front of the people that surround me, it ends up taking a toll in other places in my life. Right now I'm in a place where I can't commit to most romantic relationships, and it's because I don't feel entirely fulfilled being committed to someone who differs so much from who I really am. For good or bad, I've found myself very polyamorous and non-committal. However, this is far from my personal dream of raising a large family one day. I feel lost, in a crazy cycle. Thanks for your question. It made me think about...me. I just realized I'm not making any efforts to address what I need in life.

Are there any Mensa groups nearby? Art classes? Museums needing volunteers? Ask if you can mentor younger people.

Mostly 2 and 6 for me. I've always felt like an outsider and like I'm on the periphery of a social group, even among my close friends. Hell, most of my primary group of friends only met each other because of me, most of our social activities take place at my house, and I still feel like I exist only on the fringes

I enjoyed your bio and this thread and relate to a lot of it. Sometimes I miss physical closeness, but dealing with people is such an attachment oriented affair. I am NOT in the mood for dealing with selfish conservatives so most Okies are off-limits.

This is a great, thought provoking post! I had never really thought that there were different types of loneliness. Nor did I ever realize how many of us are lonely. It is nice to know that there are other people out there that feel the same way I do. I would say I fall under #1 and #2 mostly. @literatehiker you seem like a very interesting person to know. I enjoyed reading your profile. Where does one go to get an IQ test? I have never done one. For all I know, I could be smarter than Einstein. LOL. I highly doubt that though. I hate math!

Thank you for your honesty and listing the types of loneliness. It’s nice to know at least in some sense that you’re not alone in your loneliness. I appreciated the line "My intensity is too much for some people," I’ve said this to some of my close friends about myself. 2 & 4

I could have written this except for the highly intelligent part. but i think you learn something from everyone if you really listen.
my husband passed away and its really made life very stressful.
i fill my days up but thats just what i am doing .......filling the time up.
no family here in AMERICA and i dream of going home but immediate family has passed away.
so i just make myself go out and try to enjoy

4 & 5

Literate Hiker, I empathize. Since my divorce I have been teaching in remote communities. Four years I taught in a small rural town in southern Colorado. The people were nice, but all were deeply involved with their church activities and/or their families. There was no one my age or like-minded to hang with.

Two years ago I took a job teaching Science on the Navajo Reservation. I live in the housing compound associated with the school. That unfortunately is no help. 60% of the houses are unoccupied. Those that are occupied belong to primarily Native families which pretty much keep to themselves. They come home, go inside and do not go outside until time for work the next morning. I'm only 12 miles from town, but can't afford time or time or finances to go in every day.

Except for the decade I was married, I've generally done things on my own. But there are times when the lack of compsnionship or someone to talk to does weigh upon a bofy. Espescially like you, I am highly intelligent and love a good conversation.

Hang in there.

I'm a garage door repairman, so for my job I get out in to all parts of the city to work in peoples houses. I'm always amazed at the endless stretches of homes occupied by people who married and started families and a part of me occasionally wonders if I'd be happier if I had been one of them.

I sometimes have to remind myself that their lifestyle as opposed to mine amounts to six of one and a half dozen of the other. Yes, they have a home and a family to go back to at night after a hard days work, but while they're in over their heads in shitty diapers and college savings funds, I'm off having fun and seeing exotic parts of the world.

The marriage and family thing will never be in the cards for me, and that's ok. I decided a long time ago that it was an opportunity for me to enjoy the type of lifestyle which your typical married guy can only dream about.

I get married dudes all the time who want to hear stories about my adventures in places like Thailand and Costa Rica. How was your latest trip, buddy? Did you meet a woman? Who was she? What does she look like? Show me a picture! Wow! She's really hott! I'll bet she was a lot of fun. Damn! My wife hasn't had sex with me in weeks!

Everybody feels lonely on occasion. It's a part of the human condition. The trick is to remind yourself that if you're single, you're really no worse off in that regard than someone who isn't. Use your single status to your advantage. Society will try to convince you that being single is some sort of disorder. It's not.

Thank you for posting this, sometimes I like being alone but sometimes feeling so alone is crushing. I have made a real effort to make friends, connecting with old friends and making some new ones. It takes a lot of effort but I find it is worth it. I have also found that working on self improvement really helps with that feeling. If you are well read and very smart sometimes people do not get your jokes or puns. But if you are willing to listen I find I can find common ground with most people.

Have you seen the Chevy commercial where the woman says, "my dream car would have ALL of these", and the guy says, "what if I told you there was a car that DID have all of these features?" I went over the list of six and realized I actually qualified in every category, plus I count a seventh, and that is when you've accepted aloneness as a natural condition and are not intending to make any changes to that condition.

Wow... I've got to study this further, I think I feel enlightened and a little puzzled with the six types. If I may modify the "six types" identify with #1, #2 1/2 #3 1/2... #4*.... modifications might be a mixture of #2, combined with bits of #3, mixing with bits of #4. I've been somewhat of a loner, and have been alone now for 8 years, but rarely feel lonely.
I "usually" manage to spend time with friends on special occasions, 4th of July, christmas, and similar traditional holidays... was always easier in the past.
Then again... I knew a girl (lady) from Wenatchee, my last (latest,last) love, she fits right in with community you describe, I think a good person, but due to her "fundamentalist" religious and political bend, I'm happy where I am... I think. I seem to be surrounded by a similar thinking community, fortunately I don't have to sleep with them.
Reminds me of a lyric... I once knew a man named Magruder, . who met a young maid in Bermuder, . she thought it quite crude . to be screwed in the nude, . but Magruder was cruder and . screwed her.
I don't know why that lyric came to mind... Maui, Hawaii (Wenatchee) came to mind.

2,4,5 Social loneliness..I moved to a more Senior area and don't fit in. Intellectual loneliness.Extremely so!! where I live is horribly, intellectualy stifling. I found one other woman who I broached this issue with and she agreed but chose to 'dumb down' to have company! I prefer to communicate via computer and watch movies and documentaries that challenge me. Psychological lonliness. I'm dealing with protracted benzo withdrawal syndrome and since it isn't an easy one like cancer, the flu or a broken limb..no one tries to 'get ' it. At times I'm judged for being an addict (not the case in any way, shape or form! www.W-Bad.org), slowly everyone has dropped away except for my weekly helper and shopper, whom I adore as she is so funny and sharp and a peer support person that now comes weekly, I am isolated and the object of curiosity and gossip. I was widely liked and thought of, but since this befell me, I'm totally isolated. (what family I had in the area dropped away admitting they didn't understand what I'm enduring!!) Gee thanks, after I spent months caring for you during a bout with cancer.! So much for the concept of family. Thus, my life at this point. IF I survive, I guess I start from scratch, socially.

All but 6.

Sometimes I am lonely, yes, but not as lonely as I felt over the last few years of my (39 year) marriage! I have moments of boredom and loneliness, and reach out to friends and family, but even during those bouts of boredom I am still a LOT happier than I had been when the marriage went south. I do feel your pain, it is tough to live singly in a couples-oriented society. I remain hopeful to find a gentleman with whom to spend more of my time, but it is tough to get past some of the social and religious barriers!

Your description of the different types of loneliness is wonderfully phrased. Most of us undoubtedly feel more than one type at any given time, and some are more easily resolved than others.

I've been single for quite a while, and heartbroken over failed or unrequited love on numerous occasions. Weekends and holidays can be often tough reminders that I'm unattached romantically. Whenever possible I try to keep busy with work or friends, as both a distraction and a reminder that I don't have to brood and ruminate if I don't want to. Lately I've been more successful in staving off loneliness when it arrives by taking jobs and pursuing activities that I enjoy, regardless of whether anyone wants to share the experience with me or not. Maybe I'm finally accepting (if in baby steps) that loneliness is an occasional price of caring, that misery doesn't have to be permanent, that I matter as much as anyone else, and that I'm better off doing my own thing than miserable in a bad relationship, romantic or otherwise.