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What percentage of your relationships are you “out” as an atheist?

For me, my family is Southern Baptist, and I just don’t want to deal with the drama. I love my family and we get along great, but they are pretty closed minded.

Work is about about 30% (total guess ?). My office is pretty conservative, but If someone asks, or if it comes up, I don’t hide it. However, I don’t go out of my way to tell everyone either.

Social life and friends 98%. It usually comes out pretty quick.

Doug_in_Colorado 6 Mar 22
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27 comments

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5

Everyone knows

3

Friends and family 100%. Work is 0% because they are all church goers and I haven't been there that long plus its none of their business.

3

100% as far as I know. Not saying people are happy about it, they think/hope I will change and that it is only a passing phase. But most just accept it, and many are themselves.

3

100% also

Roman Level 5 Mar 22, 2018
3

I haven't really put it out there, but I don't deny it either. It's a small percentage, but it grows day by day, just in the natural course of things. Unlike religion, I have no doctrine that says I have to spread the word and I (Try) to refrain from disparaging remarks to religious friends and family, but it really is tempting.

3

100%

2

One hundred percent for me. I don't care what my family thinks. I don't have much of a family anyway.

2

All of them.
I am pretty open and people often make flat statements that reflect their belief, based on the assumption that all people think like they do. Since they felt free to share, so do I.

2

One zero zero

2

100% out to all.

1

All of them Not everyone asks as it is potentially divisive but people seem fine here that I would be atheist - a very minority group no hassle from us heathens!

1

100% of my Friends, Family, Clients and Business Colleagues know I'm Openly Secular. I have even made sure my Mayor knows I'm atheist.

The more people in our communities, work places and neighborhoods who are exposed to nice normal atheists, the easier it is for others to come out.

1

All the way, baby. 100% dgaf

1

I can't think of anyone who doesn't know. I suppose there might be a handful of people at my day job who don't know, only because they haven't been around when I talk about it. I don't think there's anyone from whom I've made an effort to hide it.

1

I don't see this as being any different than a gay person coming out. I think you need to do whatever works best for you when you are ready. As humans, we are all judged by something, our looks, personality, careers, race, etc. because we live in a very critical world. If you are different, for whatever reason, somebody won't like it, and hell, everybody's offended.

1

It never comes up, so I don't mention it. But I have lived in Thailand since 2010, and in the US I still was sort of tolerant of Christianity.

1

100%

I can't think of anyone significant who is unaware of where I stand, and if someone is not someone I consider significant in my life it doesn't matter whether they know or not.

People at the office don't generally know, and I have no clue what they do or do not believe. Of course, the office is 120 miles away and I work from home, so I don't see them often. I think the last time I was there was in October.

1

Since Facebook, pretty much any of my friends and coworkers who follow me are quite aware. I've been told I push the fact too much, but then it's nice being able to express how I feel after years of just not talking about it. And the amazing thing is how many people actually seem to be non-believers that I would not have guessed! That has been eye opening for sure. As to family members and friends who are not on Facebook, most know, but I don't make a big issue of it as long as they don't try and push their particular belief on me. Most of my friends are religious to some extent, some very religious. We get along by not making a topic of conversation.

1

100%-been out since a teenager

1

I’m lucky ,very liberal family so all are familiar with my atheist views....

And frankly friends I’ve never had a problem telling....

1

Zero percent at work, by design, but I'm an independent consultant. You never know what new actors will come on board with each client. Currently my main client is run by a conservative Catholic and an evangelical. I don't want test their tolerance for my views; I see no upside and all sorts of potential downside -- even though, if I were "outed", I doubt it would be an all-hand-on-deck crisis, or even ANY kind of crisis -- I have no desire to find out. As a former evangelical I'm pretty good about making the sorts of noises where they'll assume I'm fairly conservative and theistic without my actually admitting to it. So far as I'm concerned, it's none of their business, and telling them would be TMI. Indeed, when the evangelical came on board he made a most unseemly introduction of himself as a "man of god" which caused all sorts of cringing and averted gazes around the meeting room. I would think introducing myself as "godless" would be at least as grody.

With family, 100%. I only have one active fundamentalist in the family, an older sibling, and he point blanked asked me a few years back if I no longer believe in god. I said no, he said that's too bad, and that was the end of it. He's not treated me differently. His wife's attitude is that it's just a "misunderstanding" or something that will blow over eventually (despite that it's been going on 25 years). I think this is a function of them knowing that I'm a "good" person, that I was a "good" Christian, and explaining it to themselves the only way they know how.

Socially, I suppose I'd estimate 10%. Our social life is still developing, lo, these 6 years after moving to our current community. My wife and I make friends slowly. I have a small group of men I hang out with on Saturday mornings, one of those, a retired professor, was already "out", sensed a kindred spirit, asked me in front of the others if I was an atheist, and I said yes. This has not been a problem (or a source of significant additional discussion). I would suppose that it might come up organically like that as we gradually get to know others. We're in the northeast, so this is not exactly earth-shattering. Theists here are used to agnostics, atheists, liberal theists, and the religiously indifferent or iconoclastic. The joke here is that even the Baptists are liberal.

I would be more circumspect about being "out" socially if it had the potential to bleed over into my professional life but apart from a local subcontractor my business relationships are thousands of miles away and mostly I relate to them via email and Slack, with a couple of in-person business meetings per year.

1

all of them

1

it has never been that important to me to make a statement about it

1

Probably about 90%, because with some people, it's just never come up in conversation.

1

100%.

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