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Correcting Others Make You Look Bad

Have been thinking about how the last man I met corrected my pronunciation three times. Each time, I felt embarrassed and stung.

"When I moved to Washington State, I mispronounced Indian names of towns and rivers," I said with a laugh. "I still mix up Chiwawa and Chiwaukum rivers."

Still, he corrected me when I said, "It piqued my interest." "It's pronounced 'pick,'" he said. "Everyone says it wrong."

"No, 'pique' is pronounced 'peek' like peeking through a window," I told him. "'Pique' is a French word with the same pronunciation in French and English. I took French in high school, so I noticed it."

"I was an English major in college," he said smugly, as if it proved his point. After dinner, he looked up the pronunciation of "pique" to show me up.

I was right. Ha ha! It's pronounced "peek."

Since elementary school, I’ve met people who felt the need to correct others. Some had seemingly innocent intentions, while others were excited at the opportunity to show everyone present that they were smarter than someone else.

Regardless of their intentions, what they’ve accomplished is ticking someone off, embarrassing them or even ruining a friendship.

Your thoughts?

p.s. He was a pedantic, short, fat lawyer who looked like a troll.

LiterateHiker 9 Nov 28
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48 comments (26 - 48)

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2

I try not to correct people if I can avoid it, though it is something I have a tendency towards. Now, I only do it if someone is being a jerk. For instance, a former coworker was making fun of me for pronouncing a word correctly as she thought it was pronounced a different way. She kept harping on it and having laughs at my expense, so I finally calmly told her that I was definitely right in my pronunciation and, as she didn’t believe me, told her to look it up while I was standing there. We were in an office with other people, also. She looked embarrassed afterwards and I can’t say I felt bad about it. She also used to laugh at me and try to correct me every time I said chorizo (chore-ee-so) as she is Portuguese and so pronounced it chore-eese. I was brought up in Southern California, which has a high Hispanic population and that’s why I pronounce it the way I do. A Spanish speaking coworker backed me up on this and she finally stopped. Honestly, picking on my grammar/pronunciation is generally going to end badly for you as I tend to be very well-spoken. I do get that it’s annoying to be corrected all the time, though, so only break out my Grammar Police badge when, as I said, someone is being an ass.

2

I would say that it's more when and how you correct others that makes you look good or bad. Sometimes providing feedback can be helpful but it takes tuning in to the other person and what they need to make the difference. Also, if you are setting boundaries on other people, correction is often necessary.

2

You em we’re right on piqued because it’s a French word. But it’s silly to correct people like that.

@BudFrank

You're right.

"'Pique' is a French word with the same pronunciation in French and English," I told him. "I took French in high school, so I noticed it."

@LiterateHiker I lived in French speaking countries for 9 years so I’m very fluent.

2

i don’t correct people. pronunciation is not my strongest point, but i’ve always been good with grammar, so i notice when people get things wrong. but my rule is that i’m not going to say anything unless they’ve asked me, they’re planning some kind of speech or similar, or i genuinely can’t understand what they mean. the purpose of language is communication. if i can understand you, i don’t need to be a dick and correct something inconsequential.

2

I love it when people say ‘chimley’ and ‘ekcetra’. Who cares do long as we know what we mean.

This prick has piqued my interest however as, being a brief, he needs to know where to dot I’s and cross t’s ss s matter of course

2

Hey.. as long as we (the conversationalists) understand each other..... no importance or correction needed. It's rude behavior.

2

A classic indicator of insecurity and lesser emotional development; I mean really, he's a short, fat lawyer🙂 It is much harder to be kind than clever.

2

It depends on context, intention and reaction. I correct the TV all the time but I am pretty sure I am not hurting it's feelings. On a first date, never never -- unless the date is totally obnoxious and making the correction is the safe alternative to throwing said date out the window. In an actual relationship (spouse, lover, friend, neighbor, whatever) play it by ear but playing something by ear requires listening.

g

I am going to correct my damned autocorrect. I typed Its. It corrected that to it's. I meant what I typed. I hate auto-correct. They should rename it auto-incorrect.

g

1

...and being right more often than not doesn’t score points, either 😟

Seems there’s a sweet spot.. somewhere between knowing only so much … and giving in to those claiming to know it all ~

Varn Level 8 Nov 28, 2019
1

There is nothing worse than being corrected incorrectly. It drives me absolutely nuts, especially when it is in my area of expertise...or when my extensive experience with the fact in question has already been part of the conversation.

Also, I was an English major, and if the dude didn't know how to pronounce "piqued," that's just unforgivable. Correcting you incorrectly is a crime against all linguistic decency, lol.

" ... and if the dude didn't know how to pronounce "piqued," that's just unforgivable."
So by your measure, both of them are in that boat since she had to wait for him to look it up to be certain.

You don't have to be an English major to know how to pronounce words. You just have to own (and use) a dictionary or ->GASP!<- look it up online. I like how in this discussion "English major" seems to be a badge of honor.

@AtheistInNC It's not a badge of honor. It's just offensive and embarrassing that he would use our hallowed major as a shield for his own ignorance.

Not to mention ironic. He was hoisted with his own petard, as Hamlet might say...in Act 3, Scene 4.

1

I live in an area with many spanish place names. If people don't pronounce them close to correctly, no one knows what theyre talking about. Sorry but not sorry if it bruises their egos, or if its not good form or something. If a person can't be bothered to try i will say something.

1

Your p.s. explains it all. You just did not like this somebitch! 🙂

@DenoPenno

You got that right. I wrote a post about him:

Overweight man rejects overweight women. What's up with that?

1

I feel it depends on one's relationship to the person who mispronounced the word. If you don't know the person or bearly know them as on a first date or agnostic.com it probably is best you remain silent, lest they be insulted, hurt or offended. I agree. If it's someone you know very well, perhaps your spouse of many years, or a good friend, if you are sure of your correction, and you do it in a matter-of-fact or otherwise innocuous way, it should be OK, especially if you're right - and the other person isn't unusually sensitive. To do it in a manner to show how smart you are and with an air of 'I'm better than you' - of course is a no no - but just honestly and innocently, I think is OK.

1

To me it just sounds rude, and now on the lighter side, have you ever been checked for like, electromagnetic fields or pheromones or something that attracts morons? 🤔🤣 I honestly wish you the best of luck on your search.🌞

1

I always thought it was "peaked". Like saying my interest is like at the top of the mountain.

Word Level 8 Nov 28, 2019

@blahblah

Exactly.

"Piqued, "peaked" and "peeked" are pronounced the same in English.

1

To me this kind of "event" tells me a lot about the person.

When this "event" or moment occurs I'm not worried about being right or looking wrong or saying I don't know, I care about behavior and mentality. That's why even if I know I'm right, instead of correcting people, I ask them if I'm correctly doing or saying it. Yes, it is to protect their feelings; I make them aware that there maybe something wrong with what they are doing but placing the "shame" of being wrong on myself. But I also do all of this to see what they will do or say next.

If they say they think I'm not correct and they are right, I accept their claim and let it go. I don't correct them. Usually, if they are honest and good, they look it up later on their own, and let me know I was correct later. I thank them, appreciate their honesty. All is good. They did the right thing.

If the person still continues making the error, that tells me how inquisitive and careful and honest they choose NOT to be. It's a choice, not a trait. It also tells me they will claim to be right even if they don't know if they are right...and that is someone to distrust and avoid. They will lie to your face just to appear right. Best to avoid that kind of mentality in a close relationship that needs trust and honesty to work.

If the person is naturally inquisitive and doesn't care about being or looking wrong then we both use the oppourtunity to look up the correct way, and learn together. Those are the people I choose to be friends or more with. We can be honest, admit when we are wrong or don't know, and care for each other feelings to our own.

1

How many people can pronounce Puyallup?

@PondartIncbendog

I can.

1

there is a large poverty of the mother tongue.... being Canadian and being familiar with francais I hear things that make me cringe often...

blzjz Level 7 Nov 28, 2019
1

I don't correct grammar or misspeaking, except one time. My ex-GF kept using the r-word.

It was one or two times but numerous times.

Edit: I originally replied on my phone. I am correcting this post on my desktop.

1

I hate when people do that. It's so denigrating. I'm glad it had a happy ending. Sometimes it feels good to be right!

1

It really depends on the situation, and who I'm dealing with.
With the small humans, I do it all the time. Especially with grammar and
pronunciation.

With adults, I tend to let it go. Most of those I hear doing it wouldn't change
how they're doing what they're doing anyway.

If I'm saying something incorrectly, I'd rather know. I don't like speaking incorrectly.

0

There's no such thing as a correct pronunciation or incorrect pronunciation. Language is something made by people and constantly changing, which means any person can be changing it at any time.

The vowel sound that is used by most native French speakers for "pique" is a sound that is not used by most English speakers. It is neither "pick" nor "peek". It's kind of in between.

0

Short fat troll lawyer, explains everything 😄
I've met a few ladies who've done that also.

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