note that he is your friend and keep looking

Accept it, and appreciate his honesty... sure beats leading you on, huh? X

Well chances are you aren't going to change that. So either be friends or remove yourself from the situation if it's too painful.

I value the male friends I have who don't look at me as a lust object.

Is there some kind of a rule that a man and a woman can't be just friends, if there is I missed it. One of my oldest and dearest friends is a woman I turned down having a relationship with.
If you can't be friends with someone why do you even want a relationship with them?

Stalk him, key his car, break something of his then fix it to prove your worth, shave off your eyebrows, get a motorcycle to show him how cool you are, give him ultimatums, play hard to get, fake your death, surprise him later, immasculate him, be spontaneous.

Good friends are not so easy to find, you know?
You have no choice here, none at all. Either de-escalate yourself or walk away entirely, and Do Not waste your time thinking he will change his mind if you are just cute enough, or whatever......been there, done that, attended his wedding to someone else.

To be lovers both parties need to be lovers
To be friends both parties need to friends
Every action there is a reaction principle
ex - someone met on line both like each other met up after several meeting the other party was confused and informed just want to be friends, the other was rather dissapointed as he wanted more than friends so he asked her ok lets be friends but is there still a possibility- of which she replied lets wait and see ok now this meant there is still a hope but play caution to the wind
Mean time this friend will now keep a look out of new opportunity whilst remaing as a friend here, once he finds a new soul mate the other party will leave and just be friend then.
Here the case confirm as a friend - so look else where and you will find the right person out there and the friend will remain as a friend. And as time flies good friends will stick normal friends will wander in and out but 99% friends will just popup once in a while

Someone once said, "You can't have too many friends" That person lied, even Plato defined the number of people you could be close to. If you don't like it, that means you are not happy being friends. So ... don't be unhappy. Distance yourself.

It's good to have friends. If you want more than a friend, keep looking, elsewhere.

I'm sort of in that place now but it's more like friends with benefits. I want more but should be satisfied. Honestly I'm not. I want a relationship. It's complicated. I want simplicity.

Just a thought: if you see a pattern that you don’t like, can you break it? You said “he’s a dear man”...what does that mean? I’m worried about my own patterns, one of them is looking for relationships on line!

Bleu, I've read your posts and I know you value friendship. I think this is not about him at all. This sounds like a bleu cycle, 'I've been in this place before'. If I were you, I'd take a good, long look at myself and figure out why I'm attracted to guys who don't reciprocate.

What on Earth could be negative about cultivating genuine friendships with the opposite sex that don't invove sexual intimacy?

I've even changed status of valued bonded friendship by (mutual) exclusion/discontinuance of sexual intimacy. Staying or becoming close with persons we respect, admire and come to love is a wonderful way to experience life! It also avoids the ancillary heartache of separation from many others associated/related primarily in their lives like their children, parents, siblings and other close friends.

Notions that end or non-beginning of sexual intimacy call for rejection and abandonment are just that - notions and senseless ones. Life is too short to place unrealistic demands on ourselves and others because of malignant cultural dictates. Love is life's best expression and it in no way has to be limited because of exclusivity inherent in a sexual element to a relationship.

I would hope that you would want to build from a good friendship to create a successful relationship as a couple. Perhaps he is merely saying he wants to know you better before he commits to anything more??

Be friends or be nothing. Can't do anything but go with the wind.

Since I'm a guy that works out really well for me. Otherwise it could get awkward.

Personally, I've tried being just "friends" with men, but it's never worked out.

That often means friends with benefits. If that's the case I always walk away!

I often find just wanting an excuse to not tell you how they really feel.

Be a friend.

Everyone we meet has a different level of attraction towards us - and we towards them. It's relatively rare that the feeling is mutual; so if he's a "dear person" just let it be - don't try to make it something it's not. Keep looking.

It depends if that would be OK for you. You can never have too many friends.

Men only seek the company of women they are interested in romantically. Unless of course, they are being fed, laundry being done, bills being paid, supported in some way. If he goes out of his way to be in your company and you are not doing one of those things, he is interested in the way you want him to be.
If he is not and that is your interest you need to look elsewhere.
The hard truth about men and women is, there is basically nothing interesting to men about women, except that special feeling of chemistry we get around certain ones. Nothing you want to talk about or do. I think down deep most know it.
Men seek the company of other men, not women. Unless they have a romantic interest.

Show him the basement where the bodies of all the past “just want to be friends” dudes are stored and ask him again.

Just kidding. Accept his boundaries and move on, just as you would want if the situation were reversed.