I think if you truly love eachother you can work around sexual incompatibility. Finding new things, experimenting, figuring it out. Ultimately if you cant, try swinging. That way you both can find what you're wanting, and still keep your relationship strong. I personally don't like the idea of my so sleeping with someone else, but knowing my sexual issues, it wouldn't be entirely off the table, as long as there was a long time of trust and ground rules involved. Being someone who is not the most sexual in nature, I'd prefer finding someone else who has sexual disfunction as well and can get by with maybe twice a month instead of frequently. If, however, we are deeply in love and he just can't get by on once or twice every few weeks, then we will have to sit down and talk about it. I'm mostly up front with my potentials that I am sexually disfunctional and that I am willing to later in the relationship look at ways to get around it.

I think it is important... Emotional and intellectual intimacy are awesome but pure physical attraction is essential for the trifecta.

For me, if any romantic relationship has any chance of working, sexual compatibility is vital.
Without it, what the hell is the point? You're just friends.

Got to be compatible

It's important...honestly i can be physically attracted to a woman but if i don't actually have an emotional connection too i don't perform so it could be more mental than physical but then that would still mean there's a compatibility issue

You are saying "sexual compatibility" but you are describing unsatisfactory (to you) performance. If your partner is unable to satisfy you via intercourse, but is willing and able to do so in other ways, wouldn't that work? Maybe a clearer definition of what you feel compatibility is would be helpful. =]

Well, after finally having a partner who matched me sexually..mild S&M, gender role switching, fantasy games, dominating and being dominated, costumes, constant play for hours almost daily, I have zero wish to have cis hetero "rabbit sex"-quick as possible, with orgasm as the goal. SO boring I'd rather be single or live platonically.

But I'd like a dance and hiking partner, and since I'm demisexual I can take sex or leave it.

I have no interest in being a "bride of christ" to a mortal man. You can be BFFs but for a one on one romantic relationship to work there has to be sexual compatability otherwise there is frustration, resentment, one party feeling pressured and things going to shit. If neither of you are interested in sex that's fine but if one is and the other can't come to the party there's a problem, either you ditch the one on one part or you ditch the relationship or change its nature.

Warning as you get older it gets worse, they talk the talk but in many cases they can't walk the walk.

I think you have to have a similar level of interest as your partner. I've been with people who I was much more interested in sexually than they were interested in me. I've also had the opposite. Neither situation is fun for either person.

I have discontinued pursuit of relationships due to sexual incompatibility. I feel comfortable in that because I try to be very open about sex with any partner I have. I want to learn her needs and desires, and also try to be clear about what I enjoy. If we are not compatible, it is not because we did not discuss.
I have also had sex drive become an issue. If one person needs a lot and the other does not want very much, that is hard to work through without swinging or an open relationship.
No matter what issues you have, the key is to communicate and to be honest about whether they are deal breakers. Trying to push through serious issues without addressing them is a recipe for resentment and disaster.

Sorry to hear you had those kinds of experiences. I might be on the younger end here so I might not be able to speak for the older guys (I'm 34) but if I'm into someone then sex is never an issue like I can go multiple times in a day for a pretty long period, sorry if that's TMI there. Just saying if it came ro it I would be poping the little blue pill like a pezz dispenser. Sexual compatibility is very important to me as you can see. Wishing you the best and I'm sure there are guys out there your age that can keep up with you and their um yeah you know lol

Be careful what you wish for.
I didn't hit my prime until 40. married to young to a starfish.
Next relationship was great while it lasted, the girl believed she must have been a nympho maniac as no guy could keep up with her. It was awesome.
Sadly, ladies my age now say they have other interests, sex is only ocassional at best, they just are not that interested. I know medication is part of the reason for some. I coudl not go into a relationship with someone who was not compatible in this regards. Though if the relationship was good in other ways, I would no doubt stay if things fell apart n bed. I get offers from younger ladies who voice complaints such as yours, but I am age conscious and prefer someone within about 5 years of my age, either way.
I will expand that for a very active older lady, or a very intelligent younger one, but not my much.

You have not mentioned what efforts were made to remedy their issues with medication. I'm assuming you were fair to them by at least talking about using meds. If they turned that down then I think you did all you should have.

Both parties need to be on the same page for sure. Be clear with your expectations, what you don't like and want/need.

Oh me too for sure. the amount of woman with hangups about there body or that wants me to do everything. I don't think I've ever had sexual compatibility as it goes. I don't want a woman to have sex with me because she feels like that's what she should do to please me and I don't for sure want woman who fakes orgasms either. I would rather they just said they didn't feel like it right now which is a fair comment. why fake it when you can experience more orgasms ad or put up with something you don't feel like. I don't need sexual relief from a woman as I have a right hand and enjoy that too. I have a problem it seems with intercourse and that is I have trouble coming and there's no literature on what to do about that. there is on trying not to come too quickly. I thought I would be every women's dream to have a stiff cock for hours as long as they don't mind taking charge too but oh no. I like change and being spontaneous. what does "I don't like sex in the morning even mean"I might be strange but I like sex when I'm fucking horny. the other unusual thing is I still get a boner at the drop of a hat which can be a pain in the ass lol but seriously it can. I'm quite a highly sexed person even at 57 so its monkey smashing time every morning just about on average. I don't need a woman but id love to have one to indulge with. it sounds like I'm bullshitting and excuse the pun, blowing my own trumpet but it couldn't be further than the truth. personally, I've found my sexual libido to be a bit of a curse really.

Very.

Very important to me!

To clarify from some of the comments. After I divorced I swore I would never lose passion in a relationship. It’s not that I’m not understanding or not willing to work through issues but I have realized that I think this is important for a true lasting relationship.

I think it's very important for the two of you to at least be on the same page. No one should live a life of frustration. I was married 35 years and the first 6 or 7 were great. Then she got to the point, she didn't like being touched . It got to the point that we were having sex about once a month and might even get skipped a month here and there. About that time, I thought about looking for a girlfriend just for sex. I thought about it but never did. We finally told our doctor about it. Her hormones were out of whack and he prescribed her some pills. About a week later, I thought she was going to kill me. She couldn't get enough and she had already weened me down to where I was almost shut down. After a couple weeks she settled down and from then to about a month before she passed, we had an appointment twice a week that we both always looked forward to. It actually does get better all the time when all is working right. Twice a week was just the right amount to be in good shape to get full enjoyment next time. Any longer time and it can be over too fast and any shorter, you might have to put too much work into it to enjoy it right. I know it always worked great for us. It's easy to look forward to when it's always good for both of you. Proper timing like this helps keep it alway getting better. If it don't work out once in a while, it's natural. All it takes is thinking about the wrong thing at the wrong time and a guy can be done. If I think for a second that my partner isn't enjoying herself, it's done. I've not been with any other women but sex with the wife was always good but anything breaking the mood was usually instant doomsday. When we were younger and first married,we would be playing and the phone would ring. We wouldn't answer it but then, there would come my mom's voice leaving a message. Good thing I was younger then. That would be harder to recover from these days. It's not normal, I don't think, to not enjoy sex. If you aren't, ask your doctor and he might be able to help . It turned my wife into a new woman and kept us both very happy. I would have been divorced many years ago had she not got help. She was a much nicer person when she was haveing good sex too. Good for the cardiovascular system too. If you are not interested in ever having sex, you should be with someone that is the same way. So the main thing is that the two of you are in sync.

My ex-wife came to look on sex as an obligation... something she was doing to please me, not because she enjoyed it. Worse than that was the fact that she had no need for physical intimacy of any kind beyond a ritual goodnight kiss. So needless to say, I think having a mutual desire is something that's one hundred percent neccesary.
I realize everyone is different, in my case I get energy from my partner, so if I know I'm wanted that just feeds my libido and it's a continuous thing. That's how I define "compatible" with me- someone with equal or near-equal desire and who enjoys physical closeness, whether that means sex or just touch and showing affection physically.

I agree it is important!

If the sex isn't there, then you're just room mates or friends. I've had that, and it pretty quickly makes me feel dead inside.

Sexual compatibility is... a premium for me. If one in the couple want to do it once a week and the other once a month, there might be problems. If one is naughty, kinky, loves role play but the other doesn't... Either they have to open up the relationship or one will most likely be unfaithful. Because, whether we like it or not, sex is an important part of any couple's life. When sex is not good, it's just like financial problems, work problems, alcohol... If will affect the relationship.

It's wonderful to have intimacy in ones life. I like some kink in my sex life, kind of keeps it fun.

How important? Crucial.