I welcome it, especially early on. I watch what he says about the ex. If everything is her fault, that's a huge red flag.

I don't mind it at all. My So has some serious hallrious stories sooo. Yep.. XD

I try not to block any source of communication, as it may make it easier for the relationship to grow when you do not have to hold back the thoughts you are having. Hopefully, soon enough they will be thinking about you enough to never have the ex pass their mind

I'm all ears.

It depends on what / how is being said.

It strongly depends on how they are talking about it.
Sharing parts of personal life experience is pretty much fine. Comparing (even if positive) is not.

Actually, I think it depends. I am dating a man near my age. We both had long marriages. It would be pointless and too much work to try to pretend our ex-spouses didn't exist. A lot of mention of prior short-term dating experiences might make me react differently.

Just enough that I learn their earlier experiences, yet not so much that it's monotonous.

Depends. I don't want to hear about all the things the ex did wrong. My first question when the ex blaming starts is "what was your part?" No one is an innocent victim in a bad relationship. If they can't acknowledge the responsibility in the breakup, they're not ready to enter into a new relationship. They'll just keep making the same mistakes again and again.

It's a treasure trove of information! What did they like? What did they not like? How can I make myself the better choice? What should I avoid doing if I want this relationship to last?

Definately not on first dates don't want to know about your x mkakes me wonder if you are compairing

I'm not thrilled about it but small doses are bound to surface, so if I'm the one asking questions about the ex, then its ok. Lol

When they're crying on your shoulder about their ex, they are revealing who they really are, warts and all, so grab that bottle of wine and LISTEN UP!

It depends on the context. I dated a lady in Denver whose ex would come hang out with us. I liked him. My ex-wifes' ex came to town and stayed with us for a couple of days to see his daughter graduate, and l liked him better than l liked her. I just don't want to hear them bitch about the ex.

You have to care to be jealous

I don't mind, it is all part of who they are.

I don't mind as long as its relevant to a story or something

If im dating someone and they are divorced or just out of a long term relationship, I would want top know why. It might be something like, "They hated it whenever I murdered a hobo," That's important information.

Our past accounts for who we have become. Some has been edifying and some damaging. A person who loves who've they become and appreciates others for who they've also become has no difficulty sharing ANY life experiences, joyful, hurtful or teaching. Without the past included who are we?

When I was dating my 'late' partner I did mention a 'former' one but was told sometimes it was a little too often. So I learned a lesson. Now I have to have a balancing act as to just the right amount. Other person(s) are a part of one's life as one's friends and maybe even their children and one should not expect the other to forget their past. For me, I want to know about the other people in a persons life, that's part of a relationship. The problem arises when that relationship is used as a comparison or model or chip on one's shoulder. For me I do not want to replace any of my past partners even the great one. I want someone new. It is not fair to anyone and is unrealistic. Everyone should be judged on their own merits. BTW I would hope if I did talk too much about another in the past my 'date' would nudge me to back off.

It isn't an ex; it is his deceased wife. I don't mind at all. Those 21 years are a part of who he is. It shows me he can commit long-term, love deeply, feel emotions, and trust me enough to share. I hope her and their pictures stay up to include her in his present life. He's not living in the past, He's living with the past. I'm one fucking lucky girl! ?

From what I understand, if it's the woman talking about her ex to her new boyfriend, what she's doing is telling the new boyfriend what she doesn't want. If it's the other way around that's a no no.

Pay attention, you might learn a lot! Think of what they are saying as if you were reading a real estate ad: example, "conveniently located" =next to a 24-hour liquor store. Etc.
Nobody just landed on planet Earth....your past is what makes you who you are today
90% chance they will treat you the exact way they treated their last lover. Pay attention!

The ex and I were together over 20 years, so it would be impossible not to talk about that phase of my life. I don't rant and rave, and I don't overdo it. I don't know how you could get to know someone new and not talk about your past.

i have to say 'other'.
there can be a lot to be learned about a person from the way he/she talks about past (or present, for that matter) relationships, as well as what this person has to tell - & that i want to know.
on the other hand i get quickly bored to tears with non-adventurous life stories, especially if they are still emotionally loaded.