It depends on how much they talk about them and HOW they talk about them. If there is a huge amount of unresolved anger, or disrespect then it is a red flag. I talk about my ex because I still see him fairly frequently, the kids like to do family birthdays and holidays. We're amicable. I am not angry with him, I am pretty indifferent, I think. We spent 25 years together and have kids and grandkids, we are linked whether we like it or not.

Hearing someone rant and rave about their ex gives me good insite on what bothers them. Sometimes it's good, sometimes bad. After that, definitely small doses. It gets annoying. And never compare your ex to whomever you are dating!! That's been my experience.

As long as it's relevant.

Depends largely on the type of talking. If he has nothing nice to say about her, I figure that someday it will be me he is trashing. Conversely if he can't stop talking about great she was, I figure he is going to be going back to her someday

I do not have that problem

I would be surprised to find out I'm dating someone.

We all talk about our exes to some extent. It would depend entirely on the situation in which it comes up.

It would depend on many things: How long had we been dating? How long had it been since I dated and why? My husband had been dead 5 years before I started dating and so I expected there to be conversations around exes as a natural part of getting to know each other. There were widowers and divorcees and what they said was very telling so it paid to be attentive, in order to really know what they were looking for by dating me.

Those who can't get past talking about their ex no matter what the subject may be raising a red flag that they aren't over the relationship, but as others have said, with a long-term thing like a marriage with children, you'd need to allow a lot of slack, since nearly every experience probably involved either ex or kids.

Comparisons like "I loved the way he styed his hair, you should try it that way", or "Why don't you get your nails done, she used to" need some immediate communication around them if you like the person otherwise, because this type of thing may create resentment later on.

My advice is keep your eyes and ears open as well as your mind to know what you're getting into.

I think it depends on the context

I'll let everyone know as soon as I find someone to date.

it depends on the circumstances. from previous experience it never bothered me. but those were not more than brief mention or comparisons. so that was enough for my desires.

I guess it depends. Are they just talking about her as if they’re still in love? Then no. Are they just mentioning them as part of a story or something along that line? No big deal. Especially if they have children together. I get along with my ex just fine. Haven’t been in love with him for many years, but we were together for 20+ so...

I think it depends upon the context. If it's essentially out of the blue, and just some kind of rant, that's a red flag. Or perhaps worse, if it seems to be brought up at slightest tangential context, that's also a red flag. In both cases, it signals to me that the other person probably hasn't moved far enough beyond an ex or exes.

Certainly, there are instances when it would be acceptable, if it's directly related to the context, but even then the nature of the recollection matters as well. The only manner I can think of that would be suitable is a rather live and learn attitude.

One needs to be secure enough in one's self to not allow that to bother you. Don't tilt at windmills. Save your energy for real problems.

Oh and she's saying his willy is bigger she's straight our the door ....

This is a huge red flag for me. I refuse to date someone who isn't over an ex.

If it's right out of the gate, there just might be an issue. If it's a lot, there just might be an issue. Over time, a little at a time, it really just isn't avoidable. There are going to be happenings that draw it out. And what better way to become informed of matters that may or may not cause a degree of discomfort in a relationship that could potentially be a benefit. If I had a partner that within our relationship never found that draw as mentioned, I'd be about as worried as the one that couldn't get out of the gate without repeated mentions.

"Out Of The Illusion " Group

I hate it to be truly honest here. It sets a person up to be your grief counselor. I do not mind helping out friends that need my advice but I will not coddle this person into thinking I am needed in that respect. People can suck the life out of you with their past ex's and maybe you could write their book for them. What I am trying to get across here is this is how the drama starts and stays there, it sometimes never leaves us and dwelling too much on one person or thing leaves us stuck.

If they blather on about the Ex..fuck that..shows they're not over it..I don't have time or the patients to hold someones hand...

Not my business.

well as long as I am the one getting the sex it's ok. I'd rather we talk about him and she bangs me than talk about me and she bangs him.

It depends on the situation.

Just a sec.

I found the pork in my tamale.

nom.nom.

I don't thin'k many of us are virgins.

Speaking of the before is natural.

If the conversation comes around to it. Some people are curious about other's past, especially if they love you.

It is their past be it good or bad. The input of the past can help you develope ways of not repeating the mistakes that lover in the past had and also be used as a tool to help you do what pleases. It also gives you a window into the other person perspective, provided that you look at it with an open mind.

In my case - he lost his wife not even a year ago - so I expect him to have "moments", and want to talk about her. Though it can get a bit old at times ...