I run across a lot of street preachers, and so I’ve developed some answers for them.

Preacher: Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your personal savior?
Ben: Thanks, but I’m already seeing a savior at this time.

Preacher: Have you met Jesus?
Ben: Of course. I’m dating his dad.

Preacher: Jesus loves you.
Ben: Yah, but he also loves Franklin Graham, so his taste in men is pretty bad.

Preacher: Jesus sent me to you.
Ben: That makes sense. Jesus has had it out for me for years.

Preacher: Have you seen Jesus?
Ben: Yah, he’s passed out under my coffee table.

Preacher: The fool has said in his heart there is no God.
Ben: The wise tweet it.

Once upon a time, I had a conversation with a christian about god and his ability to be everywhere at the same time. So I proposed that god could be in hell as well as everywhere else. You would have thought the end of the world had been announced. How dare I suggest god go to hell!!

Did he even poop? There's no record of it in the Babble or whatever they're calling it these days.

This one's pretty obvious really. No, he held all the gas in until he eventually floated up into the clouds. He should have let it out when he discovered that he could walk on water.

Holy farts Batman! If Jesus is God, does that mean he did his Mom?

I am going to have to pay more attention to bumper stickers......

The Churches Toilet (For All The Bullshit Talked)

This may be the most profound question ever posed on this site. It requires intense and thorough discussion. LOL!

The Godfarter will make you an odor you can't refuse

I love your sense of humor. ????

Sounds like a setup to a joke.
Jesus farts.
Person in the room: Oh christ. it smells like something died (and came back to life) in here!

For entertainment I use the scan button and listen as sentences mesh up. The best where always a Christan station and something else. Things like "as he hung on the cross... Dude look like a lady"

Oh, if you really want to bake a fundamentalist Christian's noodle, asked them whether Jesus had nocturnal emissions when he was going through puberty.

Next time someone farts ask them "what would Jesus do"?

Actually all this would be a wast of time because the fear among them is so strong they will not dare ask any questions challenging their ingrained beliefs and you become the bad gal for asking!

We shouldn’t be asking them anything to question their belief system or deriding their beliefs. We should make ourselves available and demonstrating a commitment to logic and science and understanding. Period.

The Wind Of Christ blows mightily! Inhale the vapors of Christ and yours and thine shall achieve the olfactory of heaven! Praise the Lord and Give A Sacrifice!!!

My personal Jesus is an ex-tradesman who swears, drinks and you really don't want to run into him in a dark alley - he's good with a shiv. So, farting is the least of it.

He must have done some belters that made him look a bit like Marilyn Monroe in that famous scene over the grid with her dress blowing up.

In some ancient texts it is stated that when the Son of God had gas he would cast his flatulence into his disciple buddies kind of like a practical joke. #firstcenturywhoopiecushion #hole-yspirit #learntothrowyourfartfoolyourfriendsfunatparties

What kind of answers does one expect from people who have been brainwashed from infancy? They believe an INVISIBLE sky daddy answers their prayers! They can't give a solid answer, when pressed about the lies, superstitions, and just plain falsehoods in their myth book. I try to ask things like;"what time is it?", or 'which way is the fastest route to the Interstate at rush hour?" Otherwise, I refuse to engage ANY religious people, at least in person! Online, they can't see you rolling your eyes in disbelief! or making finger circles around your temples!

I don't get this website's obsession with Jesus, being as he didn't exist. Yet nobody picks on Hindus, Muslims, or any other religion.
WHO CARES???

well as an experienced farter I would say jesus could do anything in his own story so undoutedly he was the maker of all farts near and wide..