Dating religious people
Have you had a rough time dating due to the fact that so many people are religious? If you have, tell me a short story about your experiences. I've often kept my Atheism a secret to date or see a woman. Have you had to hide this too? Are you now openly Atheist and only looking to date other Atheists?
6
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36 comments (26 - 36)
Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.I'm picky even at my age. I'm very leery of any woman who lives in her grandkids so much so that her grandkids can beat up my grandkids. I'm equally the same with women who have a god that can do this or maybe even beat up me. Most likely I'm not going to meet a good woman at the local atheist group coz we do not have one here. My never give up friend tells me my best chance is to meet a woman in church. Wow! If that happened and I wanted to be with someone so badly I could become converted again. Sounds like a poor plan to me.
DenoPenno
Level 9
Apr 24, 2020
1
Im dating an atheist, (which is rare to find here in the south), and would not date someone who isn't. I'm surrounded by religion with literally every other person I know, work with, family, etc. Its nice to have someone to make fun of them with you 
AshleeElizabeth
Level 2
May 24, 2020
1
I am married but before I was married it depended on how religious they were .If they went to church on a regular basis I would definitely not date them .If they were just believers and did not follow a particular religion this was acceptable.If I had cut out all believers 35 years ago my options would have probably been practically no one .A nonbeliever that does not accept a believer is no better than a believer that does not accept a nonbeliever
richiegtt
Level 8
Apr 24, 2020
1
It depends on the degree of religiosity and how it has affected their thinking. Having said that, almost always no. It is a marker of a weak-thinking and often, close-minded person. Not interested in that being the one I choose to spend time with to the exclusion of others.
Mitch07102
Level 8
Apr 24, 2020
0
Ultimately for any real depth of intellectual connection to happen, that is too big of a difference. Short term . . . sometimes a religious person will be full of pent up desire and passion. You can help them release that pressure!
Observer-Effect
Level 7
Apr 24, 2020
1
I responded to a similar post on this matter just days ago. The post, and thus my comment, were deleted.
So I will just repost it here:
Women who are nonbelievers are in high demand. It's near unanimous in this thread, and every other thread like this apparently, that most women say no emphatically. Nonbelieving women can be pretty discerning. They have options.
As nonbelieving men its usually required that we have a lot going for ourselves if we are going to put our nonbelief out front. I'm able to date pretty easily as long as I don't go into too much detail. But having a life partner, best friend, serious relationship sort of requires that.
Nonbelieving ladies have so many options, they tend to want men who see nearly everything identically as they do. Rigidity is typical, as they were flexible in past relationships where they had their kids, marriage, etc., until they could break away financially emotionally, physically. By the time they end up on a site like this, they're over it.
Limiting our options to only nonbelieving women, as nonbelieving men, can be difficult to overcome, because religious men often date/marry nonbelievers and just try to convert them. I think this may be why single men here seem open to it, while the women tend to be more adamant. I was unaware of this before I came to this site.
SCal
Level 7
Apr 24, 2020
1
Just a thought on why this may be the case. Religions tend to be quite misogynistic by nature. When a man dates a religious woman, she might be open and even welcoming to the man taking control and being dominant over her (not talking about sexually). When a non-religious woman thinks about dating a religious man, she needs to consider the real possibility that he might feel the need or desire or perceived right to dominate her (again, not sexually).
Since that skewed view of interpersonal relationships is one of the things I despise most about religion, it seems likely that I would flee from it if I see it displayed in a man I might otherwise consider dating.
Sadly, your comment matches my experience and observations regarding non-believing women. Non-believing men who are seeking a partner realistically have to be more flexible than their female counterparts or they will likely end up alone. Those men have to be open to dating women who may be believers, but are not strongly religious and are respectful of the man's non-belief. Holding out for only women who don't believe will, for most of us, be a recipe for never finding anyone. Because we will not win out over the competition from other men who are non-believers that have more going for them in other areas (looks, money, etc.).
SCal:
@TomMcGiverin Tom, that's just the nature of the life we chose. I do sympathize, though, but I won't complain. Our nonbelieving women are the cremé of the crop. It's only proper that challenge should ensue.
I used to be on match.com. My profile clearly stated that I was interested in atheist or agnostic women only! But equal amounts xtian and nonbeliever women direct msg'd me. The xtian women were typically more attractive and aggressive. I suppose because xtian men are far more willing to date nonbelieving women and then try to convert them, than we are to do the same. It waters down their pool of availsble men.
I cannot imagine inboxing a highly religious woman and attempting to build on that foundation. Since prioritizing that the lady I date be a free thinker, and not wasting time with xtian ladies, my dating life has been impacted greatly. It's not for lack of effort, though!
@BryanLV Good luck. After two years on Batch, and almost no success with the small number of non-believing women on there in my local area, I met someone who is a practicing Catholic that is compatible and respectful of my lack of belief. It helps that she is not strongly religious. If I had held out for only dating fellow non-believers, I would still be alone.
SCal:
@TomMcGiverin I had never heard of Batch. I haven't been looking so much lately while I work on some things. Now may be a good time to look into something like that.
Thank you and good luck to you as well, Tom!
@BryanLV I was referring to Match. The originator of this group asked us at the start of the group to not use the actual names of the dating sites we were using in case someone posted something that might offend them. A precaution to prevent lawsuits against Agnostic.com
SCal:
@TomMcGiverin Got it. I will govern myself accordingly.
@BryanLV I wouldn't be concerned, but we don't want cause problems for the admin., so we err on the side of caution.
"in past relationships where they had their kids, marriage, etc., until they could break away financially emotionally, physically"
This is HIGHLY dependent on when the woman became agnostic/atheism and her dating experience prior to joining this site. I know this site tends to skew older in demographics, but those of us that are younger can, and often are, without a history of marriage or kid(s) and we did not need to "break away" from any toxically religious relationships. Just saying, your generalization may apply better to older women than young women.
SCal:
@demifeministgal There is no doubt that this site skews older on the frmale side. It is somewhat of a generalization, yes, but the generalization is rooted in a reality we all share here on this site.
I do respect your well thought out opinion. Thank you for sharing. There is more for me to learn, indeed.
I was married to a Christian for 28 years and we never made it an issue. I dated a Christian for a year and it was not an issue. In the first case, she was culturally Christian and not well educated in Bible or history. In the second she had a transgender daughter and did not want to expose her daughter to church hate on the issue.
My problem is that my son was a drug addict and an alcoholic. Every non believer I have dated has not owned up to using drugs when I put it out front I am not interested in bringing that pain forward into my next relationship. But every atheist I have dated has grudgingly admitted they do use and while they like me, they would rather keep using.
So I don't feel like I can win either way.
TaylorWalston
Level 6
Apr 25, 2020
0
Not sure, but I think it would be akin to a bad acid trip....
HerbertNewsam
Level 6
Apr 24, 2020
0
Yeah that's the worst thing you can do. Do not date anyone who is attached to a religion!
NoahBurley99
Level 4
Apr 24, 2020
0
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