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What are your thoughts on age gaps in a relationship?

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Gonna have 'em. My 2nd wife, mother of my children, 17 yrs. younger than me, but about 2 centuries older. Didn't last.

twill Level 7 Apr 6, 2018

I think it depends on emotional age rather than physical age.

@idlopalev yeah, a lot of immature people at any age


No rules. The parties involved are the only ones with the right to decide.

Over 18 yrs, yes.

I find strongly inapropriate to get involved in the personal matters of a person older than 11-12 with anything but advise, except if called by him/her to get involved.


I've been with men 8, 12, and 15 years my senior (and I look younger than my age, too!). I have always preferred older people in my life: older (typically) = more experience = more knowledge, wisdom = more opportunity for me to learn, benefit. Age gap has never been a problem, or anything I really think about. The only time it becomes an issue is when I get the death glare (it's never the guy, only me) from women for "poaching" a man outside of my bracket. Chill, bitch: I'm not as young as I look.

Grown folks can do what they want--whether they're 18 or 88.


Have you ever seen a woman in love with a man twice her age without the man carrying a large wallet? I haven't.

I have. But it is a rare thing, I admit.

@blago84 Daddy issues usually.


My last boyfriend was 25 years younger than me but we had a lot in common. He was teaching Political Science at Tufts when we met in a singles professional group in Boston. Even though he has remarried his wife and daughter we remain friends. Before that I was in a 10 year relationship with someone 10 years younger. I have always looked younger than my age thus some my friends and relationships have been younger than me.


Well, my nesting partner is 16 years my senior and my other partner is 16 years my junior. It's for the most part, absolutely no issue for me. The partner who is younger than me is the more challenging relationship because we don't have many similar entertainment references but we are working on learning from each other. My older partner and I also learn from each other. All in all, I think it's fine if you keep an open mind and don't let it become an issue in your own mind.


I have been in relationships with people a decade older and again slept with people around 15 yrs older.. Absoloutely not a thing to me anyway. certainly some people i have met too.. All in your mind suppose and how you work.


I was in a relationship with someone 7 years younger than me. It lasted 2 years.

But the age gap had nothing to do with the breakup.

I know two couples who have been married 20+ years - both with 11 year age gaps.

Those superficial issues of age looks, etc. really are of no substance. It really has to do with whether or not you can deal with every aspect of another person on a daily basis.


I think the older you get the less it matters. I saw a stat the other day that 75% of marriages where both people are under age 25 end in divorce. When you're that young, you typically don't have enough life experience and don't really know who you are. Add onto that the fact that people change over time it's a miracle anyone stays together lol.

You get one life, date who you wanna date (as long as they're over 18 )

MrHIT Level 5 Apr 6, 2018

I don’t think age alone can be a sole determinant – or even at the top of the list – in seeking a partner. There are too many variables, and people are so different. They also have different expectations of their relationships. Or they get sick or die. My (late) husband was 11 years older than me. My last relationship was with someone twenty years younger than me. But in both cases, it was incidental to why we were together. Heck, it’s so hard to find someone you really truly love, why let age, race, birthplace, belief systems, gender - anything like that - knock people off your potential partner list?

Not sure I shared this story, but there was a gal at my school who'd just graduated college, started work and she said she was interested in me. Yeah, sure...she was 16 year younger. Well, once she was in the Peace Corp we wrote lots and my heart turned, and the next time I saw her, I was smitten. We were together three years and I lived here, she lived in Oakland, Ca. She did spend summers here with me, but after three years I wanted more, but she didn't want to move and I didn't either. And I also fell for a gal older than me. I sure would prefer someone close to retirement so we could travel before we get too old for that.

@Bizarre That's cool that you were open to those experiences, and in other circumstances it might have turned out well. It's always possible that someone close to retirement age would prefer living in another area, and you'd reach the same stalemate with them. But I think it's good to try.


Don't believe in it, I think that chemistry and good communication is the key of relationships, age is just a number.


This will sound trite, especially as my ex-fiance was so much younger than me, but age really is just a number. I've dated 40-somethings that were immature, petulant overgrown children and 20-somethings that totally had their shit together. It really is all about the person. That said, I tend to at least initially look more towards my age. But I'm not looking at all these days, so I guess it doesn't matter at the moment.


My late husband was 16 years younger and we were extremely happy for 22 years.
I’ve only dated younger men since I was about 25-30. But I don’t tend to have anything in common with people my age anyway.

Iffy Level 5 Apr 6, 2018

I’m 51 and probably at the height of my sexuality which suggests I would get on with younger men with a high sex drive. But I can’t connect with them because of my abundance of experience.
Life experience, that is


I think age shouldn't be an issue, if two adults have a deep connection with one another.


Well, I’m about to get real... my ex had a boyfriend for four years before I found out and we got divorced, he was old then, now 12ish years later she is still a relatively young woman and he has a walker, false teeth, and hearing aid... she’s a nurse maid to him... and I happen to know she’s dating someoneelse while he sits home, kinda like she did to me except I’m not elderly. Age may not matter in your forties but the difference will be amplified faster than you think. Hats off to karma.

Sounds like you dodged a bullet, life of perpetual disappointment with her.

@Condor5 no regrets, 3 great kids, we had 17 years together, the first 8 were good. Not sure if that counts as didging the bullet?

@ArdentAtheist at least you got good kids out of it, that's a huge plus, eh?


Cut your age in half & add 10 yrs. That's what I've heard.

@idlopalev lol!

@iamjc Men don't live as long as women. Women can easily outlive a man 10 yrs younger so don't hesitate to go for it. 🙂 My husband of 26 yrs & we knew each other since grammar school passed at 54, now I'm alone and prospects are slim. Most men my age expect to find women in their 30s to date, sort of optimistic unless wealthy and viagra made it so they can keep up with a young female's libido. Frickin viagra sucks. Older men over 60 act like 19 yr olds and for isn't more important than mental stimulation or sensual non sex related things. I was hot for sex when younger; mother nature wants you to reproduce but as time goes by and you age, sex urges sure slow down. Taking female hormones made from horses urine is very BAD for the animals. Horses have to be pregnant to get the urine, once the foal is born they kill the males--no use to them anymore and they impregnate the females fast. I don't do female hormones like premarin=bad.


I figure no more than 50 years' difference in age. Anything beyond that is creepy. ?

I don't think the age difference itself is too important, though it can point to important differences in life experience, maturity level, priorities, and so on, but not necessarily.


Having dated someone 17 years older than me when I was in my 20s, I liked it.

Now I'm 47. I find myself attracted to younger men or men who look boyish. My lower limit is about 34 though. I went on a really lovely date with a 34 year old at a local arboretum. I would have loved to continue to see him, but he told me he was bipolar at the end of our date and while I was sympathetic, I didn't want that in my life. I still am friends with him on FB, but he.grew his beard long and sometimes I see a wild look in his eyes, and am glad to have not pursued that.

I have been asked out by 22 year olds and I never felt right about that.

I don't want to date men much older than me now. Maybe 1-5 years tops.

Hey, what's wrong with a long beard? ? Haha!

@resserts nothing for other people. I personally find it a turn-off. I adore neatly trimmed facial hair.

Haha! I'm only teasing. ?

My experience has been kind of similar.
In my 20s/30s I was in a 15yr relationship with someone 19 years older than me.
Now I find myself primarily attracted to people younger than myself especially boyish or beardless men.
It's been an interesting development for me.


I tend to gravitate to older men. I seem to have more in common for whatever reason. That being said, age alone wouldn’t be a deal breaker for me as long as we are talking about consenting adults. I think more goes into compatibility than age. Overall I try to look at the person, not how many trips around the sun he’s made.

I’m good. How YOU doin?


I was with someone who was 18 years younger than me. We had a lot in common as far as music and things we enjoyed doing. Tha problem was we were in very different places in life. I had already been through the things she was going through. All of our friends were closer to my age than hers. I got sick, was in the hospital for a month, got out weighing 110 pounds, and for the first time l could see l looked old. It was good for about 3 years. It can be done, but there are obstacles.


So long both parties are happy about it and enjoy each other company nothing to worry

Rosh Level 7 Apr 6, 2018

It doesn’t matter.


As long as no one is taking advantage of the situation, and everyone is of age, it doesn't matter to me. I am married to a man that is the same age, but if something were to happen to him, I would be more worried about how the other person made me feel than how many candles they had on their birthday cake.


My partner is 6 years younger than me works fine.

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