Learn from your errors.
Put little investment i n online interactions.
Reveal your pain when you are far more along in your relationship.
Predators are out there so protect yourself.
Reveal to a counselor not a stranger online.

Just found this link that may interest you.
[facebook.com]

Answer every question with a question.

Unload all your baggage up front. If they can’t take it, then they can’t take you. It’s better than developing feelings and then being ghosted because of what made you, well you!!

I hope this all works out for you!!!

I just had a funny thought. You can have a bankruptcy, repossession, or foreclosure on your credit report. But then after 7–10 years, it’s wiped clean. Even creditors know old information doesn’t define who you are today — if your credit is good today, that’s what matters.

So I repeat my earlier comment: the past belongs in the past.

Unless your past mistakes rise to the level of imprisonment, you don't need to be "that" honest about past mistakes...

The past belongs in the past. Of course, it helped shape who you are today, but it doesn’t define who you are today.

I know I’m a totally different person than I was when I too was experiencing my “colorful past.” That person is a stranger to me.

So, no, there’s no reason to “spill the beans” to anyone to satisfy their curiosity. No one needs to know every single secret from your past. They need to accept who you are today or move the heck on.

The time to share would be different for each person you meet. But...your story won't scare-off the right person. I encourage you to keep up with therapy, to help find the fine line between not enough and too much as each situation to disclose arises.

Have you had the opportunity to meet him in person? I think that if you haven't , it is not good idea to answer questions related to your past life. Give yourself the opportunity to meet him in person and the time and his attitude, actions will tell you if it is worth sharing your past with him.
Keep calm and maybe you will find the person who will come into your life to put a touch of peace and sweetness. Your safety comes first and beware of scammers.

Unless it is public knowledge, why bother!!!

Seems everyone has failed in one form or another!!!

After all life is experimental is it not!!!

Success is built upon the failure of others!!!

Why expose what has made you who you are or are not!!!

LOL!!!

I've been in the exact same position and I've tried to be truthful and have learned the hard way that's not the best policy. People tend to shy away from people they think are damaged goods. I have medical issues that prevent me from doing some things I like to do and that other people like to do. Every time I try to explain to someone they need to be patient with me it's pretty much over. I agree with the previous comment that you need to wait until the person has gained your trust, but I think it has to go further than that. It's more than just trust. You have to be sure that they know you and love you well enough to deal with whatever it is you tell them and support you. I'm pretty sure no one would ask you a direct question about your abuse but if they do you need to come up with a way to deflect it. Something like "the only thing that's important is our relationship." Perhaps an agreement that each of you'll pretend you never had relationships before and it's all brand new. Assuming you have a handle on your past and don't let it affect your current relationships you shouldn't have a problem. When you're sure that you have a solid relationship with this person and they know you and you know what kind of person they are, then it's okay to tell them because they will support you.

This is a tough one, what to reveal and when is so difficult and depends on what they have revealed to you what you have in common. I think your opening paragraph is good especially about wanting to build healthy relationships. You have been clear that there are things in your past that might make this difficult but your aim is a healthy relationship and you understand that you are going to have to work at it.

Has the guy contacted you since or have you reached out to him? Maybe tell him you think you may have unloaded too much on him at once. Not knowing him and how he reacted makes it harder.

I wish you the best of luck and hope once he has time to understand he will be there.

The flipside is that if the guy doesn't ask, the woman assumes the guy does not care. Our past is what makes us who we are today. So....I think you should know going back into the dating world to be somewhat prepared.
Somewhat prepared? Yes, I don't think all of this has to or can be answered in one big gush. You will continue to sort these things out. And continually re-frame your answers to unexpected questions. There are a lot of good answers here from the previous posters. They are all over the place.....And I agree with just about every one of them.

Boundaries. Build some. If you've been abused in the past then your boundaries were smashed and you may need to talk out what are reasonable boundaries with a girl friend or professional. It's okay to say you've had problems in a particular area when you've built a bit of trust but it's a different thing to go into it in detail. That requires the development of a lot more trust.

For me that's a place and time thing I have no idea the response until that place and time exists.

Yes. Next time just say "none of your business" and if the questions are creepy, add the adjective "damned."

It depends on how you feel. I share more with some and less with others. I share more with those I like more.

I take them to the lonely clearing in the woods and show them the shallow graves.

If timing matters, then you don't have the relationship yet. When you have a relationship worth keeping then timing won't matter.