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What would you do?

I've taken a mostly hands off approach when it comes to Santa, encouraging my daughter to think it through but also respecting her right to come to her own conclusions.

When we first discussed it, she didn't believe in Santa. She was three at the time. Now she's five and she believes. I'm not worried. She's at the age of make believe and it's all good fun.

But that leaves me with a dilemma. I don't lie to her about it but what about the Santa Claus presents? She's totally expecting them to appear under the tree Christmas morning. She's leaving out notes (yes, plural) for Santa and cookies. She made sure we have milk in the fridge.

I've never said anything that's a lie but come Christmas Eve, either I'm going to be deceiving her or breaking her heart.

In case you're wondering, I'm totally going the deceiving route. She'll figure it out eventually, including the part where she realizes that mommy was Santa all along.

UpsideDownAgain 7 Dec 19
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18 comments

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0

She will ask when she is ready. I was about 6 or 7. That's when I became an atheist.

0
2

It’s all part of most children’s childhood ...along with the Tooth Fairy & the Easter Bunny...it’s all just harmless fun and kids even want to play along with the pretence long after they know the truth, I know my boys did. They usually either hear the truth from school pals or figure out Santa’s really Dad themselves! I’ve never known any lasting harm to come from what has just become a tradition at this time of the year...and no mention of baby J needed either!

1

When my oldest was 5, he asked about Santa and I told him the truth. My father was pissed, saying that I ruined his childhood.

About a week later, out of the blue, he told me that he knows why Santa is so fat. Confused, I told him to go ahead and tell me. He said Santa was so fat because Grandma, Pappaw, and me were in the suit together.

Kids will figure it out, and giving presents is not deceiving them when they have already been told the truth.

2

Is there a boy with soul so bold,
That a dime-store santa he once told,
‘Take your hand out of my pants!”

2

That's a really difficult situation, and I find myself there as well with the small humans in my life.
I go along with the deception because I know they'll learn the truth eventually.
Plus, they aren't my kids, and I do not criticize or interfere in how their parents choose to raise them.

Right now, they're enjoying the excitement and lead-up to Friday. I'm not about to be a buzzkill.

5

We did the Santa thing. My daughter made us submit handwriting samples to compare to the presents that were labeled "from Santa." My dad wrote those, so we were cleared.

Your daughter is awesome! I can only hope my child would be as diligent in trying to find me out.

0

Does she have make believe friends? Let her have santa, she'll grow out of it.

0

In time she will get it.

0

You're a fine mommy. Let children be children.
😃☕

1

Good move

bobwjr Level 10 Dec 19, 2020
0

make it funny. make sure she can see through you and that you're pulling her leg, not lying. hohoho her. wear a suit. eat the cookies and drink the milk. she'll ask questions.

g

1

Way back in the 1960s my younger brother, more loyal than I (an agnostic then, an atheist now) to our authoritarian Catholic father, had three children under ten and told me, “Santa Claus is in the dictionary!” (Don’t hold your breath until I parse that sentence.)

2

When I found out there was no Santa it had no effect on me at all. Anyone who suffered more than a minor surprise had other issues.

0

What I did when I was 5 was remember how small our chimney was and how fat Santa IS HOW I VOLUNTEERED TO SHOVEL (MY LITTLE SHOVEL) coal into our Coleman auger feeder to the furnace....cold December 1957 every 3 days the coal bin would run down to the auger so I checked every day coming home from school .... my parents already told me awful lies about my kindergarten teacher....LARRY'S TEACHER IS A NIGGER now dad now dad YOU CALL HER COLORED I call her my teacher she helps me color my drawings I love her and hate liars so December 24 we are driving to Grandma's house deliver her presents when I hear on Kioa radio: " NORTH AMERICAN AIR DEFENSE COMMAND RADAR REPORTS INCOMING REINDEER FLIGHT AND A JOLLY OLD ELF STEERING FROM HIS SLEIGH OVER LOADED WITH TOYS. . ....MY parents laughed my little sister was scared my idiot big brother giggled and I was pissed the tv radio comics in newspapers and EVERYBODY was telling me lies laughing at stupid kids during fear of Soviet rocket bombs to burn everybody in nuke fires.. I got out of that HELL and said to myself Santa LIE baby geebush LIE virgin mary LIE gawd LIE bible LIE my catholic cousins with a dead body on their crosses LIE jews LIE Korean neighbors LIE RUDOLPH red nose LIE CHARLIE BROWN lies Snoopy dog lies ALL LIES life begins every morning with bacon for breakfast baby piggies get big little chicken lay BIG EGGS Robin's lay little blue eggs no magic just cars running over my cat DEAD she is not going to heaven either

0

Don't feel bad. Going along with her belief is just a way of embracing her childhood. She will grow and appreciate your support of her dreams.

2

I believed in Santa til I was 8 and I have only great memories from those years. Xmas was magic at that age and I'm happy my parents let me have that. Sure, I was sad when I was made aware of reality but that didn't unmake all those great childhood memories.

I have no kids but if I did, I'd have let them have the Santa thing same as I did.

2

I can see your point, after reading the post I thought of a PBS commercial ending with the little girl saying, I'll figure it out.😉 My daughter turned 46 few days ago it didn't hurt her. 😁

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