Agnostic.com

47 7

Straight,bi, or gay/lesbian folks, I have a question.

Ok so really im open to anyones answers, but im trying to keep the actuall question simple.
in general, I know there are always going to be some differences, but in general, do straight people have an issue with dating bisexual people? or do gay people? is there a different name if you are straight or gay but like bisexual people as well? I don't have a problem with it but I was talking to someone recently who was upset that the person they were interested in was bi. I guess I never thought about it, but now im curious, is that a common thing?

Byrd 7 Apr 12
Share

Enjoy being online again!

Welcome to the community of good people who base their values on evidence and appreciate civil discourse - the social network you will enjoy.

Create your free account

47 comments

Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.

2

Unfortunately, dating someone who is bisexual would be a issue with me as well. Can't quite put my finger on why.

10

I’m bi and loyal. I don’t understand how bi people would get STDs more than straight folks. Clue me in here. You’re either careful or not. Being bi doesn’t make me more promiscuous.

i apologize if i gave the impression that i thought bi folks where promiscuous. i don't think that at all, but i did wonder if that idea played a part in some people not dating a bi person. i guess i was just trying to figure out why this fellow i was talking to was so upset that the lady he liked was bi. it had never really crossed my mind that it was even an issue for some people and i was curious why they wouldnt date a bi person and also i was curious as to weather or not thats a common thing. i am straight and have dated both straight and bi dudes. only ever been in 2 serious relationships and they both ended up cheating. so i don't really think it had anything to do with being bi or not.

@Byrd No need to apologize. My bad for typing in the wrong place. ? My reply was meant to be directed at some of the commenters.

@MarlaPaine cool beans! i was worried when i posted this that it may be seen as rude or or might be taken the wrong way, i don't usually feel comfortable asking these sorts of things in general because i feel bad when someone thinks im being a jerk to them. ive always been super curious about things like religion, the idea of race, sexual preference and identity, and a bunch of other stuff that can be on the taboo side. but i just really do find all the possibilities wonderful. plus i live in a tiny town so theres not a lot of people to ask around here. thank you for helping me understand better

Small minded people equate being different as being vulnerable or pliable. Being LGBTQ doesn't make anybody weaker, stupid, vulnerable or easily taken advantage of.

7

When I was exploring I found that many, if not most, women were turned off by my bi curiosity. I have no idea why. But more interesting was that many of my gay friends were equally put off as they stated they felt I needed to make some kind of decision. I’m still baffled. Love is love.

I have heard that same thing from gay women: that I should ‘make up’ my mind. I have; I’m bisexual!

7

Some straight and gay people have issues with bi people, but I can't imagine a bi person caring about their disapproval. Don't like me? Don't date me, lol.

Regarding a different name, no. If you're a straight guy, and are into a woman who is straight or bisexual, you're straight. Straight guy into a straight or bisexual trans woman? Straight. Now, if you were a straight guy that found himself attracted to a gay or bisexual guy or trans man, then you're probably bisexual.

I don't think it's that common to dislike bisexual people. If it is, I don't take notice.

6

Recently my Mother expressed disgust at the thought of Bi men. She said she wouldn't like to think a Man's Doo-Dah had been up a bum and then up a lady's Flower Garden (her euphemisms).

I pointed out that straight couples use both exits also.

I think her mind didn’t stop spinning for a week 🙂

6

I don't really want to date bisexual women, but my reasons are entirely personal--every bisexual woman I've dated has left me to marry a guy. I don't want to go through that again.

6

I’m a straight woman and would have no problem dating a bi man. Might actually be a turn on!

I dated a bi woman and she would watch gay porn, because it really did it for her. I watched it with her a couple of times, it just didn't do anything for me. I think I can understand why, it's the straight guys fantasy of watching two women have sex

4

I am always happy when I see anyone love anyone else. There is not enough love in this world!

4

I don't mind it. I think the argument that some people make against it is that those people have an increased willingness or opportunity to cheat because they are attracted to both sexes. The other reason is that people believe bisexuals are more open to contracting an STD also. I haven't really researched it in terms of STDs, but I would think the thought that bisexual people have the propensity to cheat more is bullshit. If you are a loyal person, then you are a loyal person, period. People who cheat are going to cheat, whether they are straight, bi, or gay. I have known straight guys that have had sex with over 100 women, and I have known straight guys that would cheat ALL the time. So I doubt that bisexual people cheat more. It's not exactly something you can accurately research though. The STD theory is probably something you can research, but like I said, I haven't.

4

Sexual orientation (just like color) does not "wash off" or affect anyone really. Fears and phobias have been taught to us as children in the same way that racism was. Since I'm not going to be "dating" a man my remarks here go to a bi woman. I do not care if you are bi. It doesn't bother me. Of course, I don't want to come home and find you have run off with your girlfriend, but I think if we are insecure we always fear this as being an issue. It's not an issue with me. I'm not sure how women would handle this. To each their own.
.

4

I'm more concerned about healthy interaction with other partners than I am about gender preference. If someone has multiple partners besides me, I would be meticuolous about safe sex.

Deb57 Level 8 Apr 12, 2018
4

It doesn't bother me. my last partner batted for both teams but I was still captain. I'm straight by the way.

4

That depends. When you date someone, do you expect them to be monogamous? In that case it would only matter if they are you-sexual. But if it's an open relationship I could only hope that her other partners are at least as clean as I am. Otherwise I have no stake in the matter.

4

I consider myself mostly straight, and I have dated several bi women. In fact my current girlfriend is bi.

3

I am here because I don't believe in God, but the only thing I can know for sure is "I am not (a) god"
I cannot be all things to all people, or even to one person. Who you dream about when you are having sex with yourself is not my concern. Who you are having sex with when I am not around isn't either. All I need is a partner I can trust, and I don't mean sexual faithfulness. I need a partner who shares our goals, and keeps me honest, and open enough that I never need to be lied to.

3

As a bi man, I've noticed that there can be a prejudice towards bi people. Often straight or gay folks believe that bi people just can't quite 'pick a side' and don't entirely believe that anyone can be truly bisexual. Introduce the idea that someone may be pansexual and their heads may explode.

There is also the presumption that bi people can be more promiscious (more choice apparently) so an assumption that whatever gender they are with that they will always want a 'change of scenery'.

I think the name for anyone who is straight or gay who is also attracted to bi people isn't needed as it just means they can look beyond the sexuality (n the same way some gay folk are attracted to straight people and vice versa).

3

Personally I've never had an issue dating a bisexual woman (and no it's because I'm looking for a threesome or have some lecherous fantasy), just because a person is attracted to both genders just means they appreciate both genders. Plus if a bi woman is dating me, it means she found something in me that attracts her. But I won't knock her for having dated a woman in the past or after we stopped dating.
Love knows no gender or sex, for love is universal.

3

I dated a closet bisexual guy for over a year. He ended up leading a double life - in all of that time, I never met a single one of his friends or family. He met several of mine. Ultimately, he stalled in his coming out process, decided to erase the whole thing from history, and go back to dating women. This (being blunt) being a guy who liked a penis up his bum more than anyone I've ever met (except maybe myself.) He was a biker, and apparently there's a site called 'biker match' that's full of women eager to ride on your pillion, both literally and figuratively. When he announced that we were no longer an item, he also revealed that he had three women on there ready to start dating.

I'd date a non-closet bisexual. I'd date a closeted gay guy. But I'd be very wary of dating a 'not completely out' bisexual again. That threat of running right the way back into the closet and nailing the door shut is ever present.

3

Bisexuals are often rejected by either orientation, not always, of course. I personally would not be interested in dating a gay man as I do not feel I could reciprocate emotionally. I would call myself nominally bisexual, I am aroused by the idea of having sexual encounters with men, but am not particularly "drawn" to men. I could not describe the reasons for rejection of bi's by straight or gay persons other than the justifications I have heard, all of which were presumptuous, rude or incoherent.

3

Most persons who are bi were closeted about it. They were seen as undesireable by both the gay and straight community, as far as relatinships go, but ufually fine as far as "friends with benefits" go.

I am not immune to that bias myself, but I view sexual orientation nto by which gender(s) someoen has sex with, but by which gender(s) someone is capable of devloping or having those feelings we refer to as "falling in love' for. Most peopel have sex at least once with both genders, but they are not capable of fallign inlove with both genders. Straight peopel fall in love with the opposite gender, gays with their own gender, but bisexuals can fll in love with either gender..

The only way to work through a relationship no matter what orientation is for there to be complete honesty. Many bisexuals have found "understandign spouses". I knew of one couple who were both bisexual, but the way they made it work is tha theterosexualy they were monogamous, but he coudl see other men and she coudl see other women. Taht worked for them.

Relationships are complicated, and if partners are to be equal it requires honeesty and wrokign otu details that work for them. In my mind honest is more important than monogamy.

In the play (and movie) "Torch Song Triology" there is a line that says soemthing like, "I have yet to hear about a bisexual guy who lives with the man and sees the woman ont he side.". We may be coming past that attitude in oru culture, but it willbe a while before we can work out all the details an kinks, because there will not be any one size fits all kidne of solution, and each relatinship will have to work otu how to handle things themselves.

3

I’ve heard that straight men are turned on by the idea of two women having sex. But straight women avoid bisexual men because of the risk of being deserted (maybe with a child) by them for another man. Maybe they
feel that there is double the temptation for their man. I’m gay and be happy to date a bi man, but I avoid straight men because I’ve been taken advantage of in the past.

wait...please don't be offended, i really am just curious. so straight dudes sleep with gay dudes? but they identify as straight, not bi or gay? im so confused!

@Byrd
Me too ???

@Byrd Guys who are willing to have sex with other guys are unwilling to accept their sexuality. They're usually the "tops" who don't do anything in return for some reason but are willing to be serviced.

3

Homo or heterosexual preference for the third person might be a deciding factor. I consider myself straight, therefore I would prefer a bisexual women and a lesbian.
Both my wives considered themselves heterosexual sexual. My first wife experimented with a girlfriend in adolescent but went no where. She had a male friend from childhood who came out at an early age. I met him several times during our marriage. She once hinted that if I wanted to experiment with him it was okay with her. I turned down the opportunity not feeling comfortable but the thought was somewhat exciting. She did indicate I was not allowed to enjoy sharing a women in our bed straight, bi, or lesbian. She could be open to sexual exploration but could be frgid for months at a time too. My second wife was into her sexuality both quantity and quality, as I was. She stated, "I could get off by a bitch eating my pussy but I don't want any of that lesbian shit". She like my first wife, admitted she might get excited to see me "punked in the ass" were her words I remember. The thought of having another male in our bed enjoying my wife whether gay, bi or straight was an exciting fantasy but similarly I was against it. Not because monogamy is necessarily a hindrance but concerned about the complicated dynamics that comes with it. Several comments mentioned monogamy as a limiting factor to experimentation. Curious about these agnostics, is their feeling of monogamy related the potential in dynamic changes, as I just now mentioned or closer to something more moral or ethical?
Thanks for tolerating my openess.

3

Perhaps the most memorable, in terms of casual sexual encounter, experiences was one afternoon in 1979. She was a breathtakingly beautiful young woman; a coworker who'd just turned 21 that week. She was also, by my understanding and her own admission, a lesbian.

At my age, 32, as also a different person, I nevertheless flirted with her constantly. She was the book keeper and I asked her one evening about getting an 'advance' on pay. She told me to come by the office (also her quarters) next morning. (a restaurant where she also kept track of our checks at night)

I showed up, she had me wait while she crossed the driveway into the restaurant and returned with a bottle of wine in a bucket, two glasses and asked a four word question that still causes ripples up my spine. "You wanna fool around?"

No more info., I'm not a porn writer.

At the time, I knew it would be a cherished memory for the rest of life. So far, so good, at 71.

3

I don't have a problem with anyone's sexuality. As long as it is consensual and legal, have sex with anyone you find attractive. Personally, I identify as gay. But I have had 'relationships' with str8 AND bi men (and obviously gay men.) Was it love? Probably not. Was it satifying? Absolutely. Would I do it again? Definitely. #ToEachTheirOwn

3

I am straight and monogamous. If I was interested in someone bi-sexual/don't know if that would happen/would have to be monogamous as well.

3

No problem here. I have dated bi-sexual women on numerous occasions. Free to chose, love and live is my motto.

Write Comment
You can include a link to this post in your posts and comments by including the text q:56297
Agnostic does not evaluate or guarantee the accuracy of any content. Read full disclaimer.