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LINK What Would Your Marriage Look Like if It Resembled Your Relationship With Jesus? | Hemant Mehta | Friendly Atheist | Patheos

Sometimes, in an effort to make a theological point, Christians just hand a mic over to Twitter so everyone can do a collective drop. So let’s all thank Creationist Eric Hovind.

Twitter was quick to explain what a relationship with a Jesus-like wife would look like. To paraphrase some of them…

She would leave and never come back.
I would nail her regularly.
The frequency of sex wouldn’t change.
I would be single.
She would always assume I know what she’s talking about.
I would get a divorce quickly.
She would always want credit for the things I did.
She would never shut up about her daddy.
I would constantly wonder about her guy friends.

What else have you got, readers?

snytiger6 9 Feb 8
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8 comments

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1

My spouse would be banished from the house.

2

I would resent that he was hanging around with a bunch of surly, family abandoning guys, with a woman of questionable behavior. Therefore I would not have married an asshole like him sans for being the Prince of Peace.

2

Hmmmm. It would be non-existent.

2

Maybe this explains why my ex had such a Martyr Complex.

1

Judging from Nicholas Epley's research at the University of Chicago, it would be terribly self centered as if she was only a reflection/projection of my idealized self. I doubt she would like that much.

2

She'd be my ex, and I'd be wondering what I ever saw in her.

5

She would serve a lot of fish and bread.
The wine would be watery.

3

I'd let him wash my feet.

You're so kind

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