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52 8

69 Visitors and no one says 'hello'

Why do so many people visit my profile and not say hello? Can you imagine that in real life. Someone sat in your front room. Looks round your house then goes without a word?? Say hi..I generally don't bite, well unless yer an absolute git.

By Amisja8
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52 comments

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1

Why I visit a profile?

To see if the person "is what I am looking for". OK? Well, let say I find a gent that fulfills most of what I want in a partner...but he lives 2,000Kms /miles away. You can bet your nose -and win- I won't say hello to that person.

DUCHESSA Level 8 Apr 15, 2018
12

Hello and welcome to the madhouse. ? I actually don't like that we're told who visited our profiles. I sometimes want to visit a profile to get a better understanding of where someone is coming from in the public discussions, or to jog my memory about other things they've commented on, but I'm hesitant to visit because I don't want to make it seem that I "rejected" anyone based on something I saw on their profile. In reality I just don't contact many people directly but, because there's a public component to the site, I think the profile visit log confuses things a little if anyone is here primarily for the public forum and isn't looking to do a lot of private messaging.

resserts Level 8 Apr 15, 2018

@AmiSue Absolutely. I'm hesitant to look at a profile for any reason because I feel like I'm going to appear as a stalker, especially if I forget who someone is and I visit their profile multiple times without realizing I've visited them before. It just feels so awkward. I know the developers are trying to keep the "dating site" aspect, and I'm guessing that's what made them inclined toward the prominent view log, but I really feel like it hinders activity overall because people feel more self-conscious.

I agree with you. I don't want people mistaking my reading their profile for my "checking them out" and wanting to connect romantically, so I often hesitate before clicking on their name/bio/profile.

10

I can't speak for anyone else, but sometimes I visit a profile to find out more about a person - usually after they've posted something - and for a variety of reasons. I may just want to read some of their other posts, find out where they're from, or get a better look at that tattoo. I may find out they're a troll, not looking for the same thing as me, into something weird or have written no profile at all. I don't always think a greeting is appropriate and you are anyway asked not to simply say "hi". Since you are UK-based, I expect a lot of visitors are American, see that, and decide not to pursue matters. Don't take it personally, I may even have been one of your visitors as I remember you commented on my TYT thread.
And a warm, and very British, "Hello". smile001.gif

Gareth Level 7 Apr 15, 2018

Yup! I especially agree with your first few thoughts.

9

Say hi to them. Works both ways lol.

Very true.

8

It's not possible (yet) to leave a note on a profile that would be publicly visible so those "hi" greetings would all come in the form of private messages. I think a lot of folks feel they are violating some ettiquette by initiating a PM without permission. So my guess is this may be part of the reason. I've had 157 visitors peek at mine and only one person has messaged me as a result. I know this because she specifically mentioned the profile. All of my other PMs were the result of post/response engagement. Hope this helps.

IAMGROOT Level 7 Apr 15, 2018

One of the parties has to initiate every PM chain without permission.
Else, how do you get permission?
Catch 22

If I see a profile that catches my attention and I want to know more, I will PM them. If ANYONE PMs me, I will ALWAYS respond with my own PM. Your mileage may vary.

7

Hello from Colorado. By the way, I'm new, too.

Teal6 Level 3 Apr 15, 2018

Hiya

7

I have addressed this issue in a post. There is no way to say "hello" without initiating a private coversation. I asked @admin to give us a way to "like" or a "hello" button when we look at a profile....or comment on the profile even with the poster retaining control of being able to delete comments if they want.

In fact Admin is developing a group of Greeter/mentors, i have been asked to be one & accepted (WTH are they thinking, right?) So, soon...

Did not know that! Ty

Ok, I don't have the compliments button disabled, so is it on my profile? I can't see it if it is.
(hint hint - hahaha)
I also went to a considerable number of other member's profiles just now and did not see any compliments buttons. Am I missing it somehow?

We're working on a popup like this for the profile page. Will try to be both a "wink" and "add to my personal list of members I like" option.

@ScienceBiker ah.. "Send Compliment" button was removed a few months ago as it wasn't used much.

6

We were semi-duped into being here for dating fellow skeptics and found out it was more of a Facebookish/Twitteresque discussion forum. Yet we look at profiles of people we think we might be attracted to or that say interesting things. Or things that anger us. And we find many of these people are hundreds to thousands of miles away.

6

Hi Jayne.
Yes I confess I visited your profile. I spotted a comment from you about being plain and ginger. I went to form my own opinion. You're not plain, and what's wrong with a passionate redhead?
Dave.

ITguy64 Level 5 Apr 15, 2018

And you visited me too! I could sort of understand you not saying hello if I had revealed I was a Yorkshireman, but I don't think my profile mentions that.

Thank you

6

The visiting is kind of saying 'hello.' Looking at people's profiles is the human digital equivalent of dogs sniffing each other's bottoms.

Hahahaha thats hilarious! I have had my bottom sniffed quite a lot it seems smile009.gif

5

I did mean this tongue in cheek really...maybe British humour doesn't translate smile003.gif

Amisja Level 8 Apr 15, 2018
5

Hello! Just now visiting though. lol

snifflz Level 7 Apr 15, 2018
5

Online communications are different than real life ones. If I message you online it's immediately a private conversation. As others have said there's no friendly greeting option, but even if there were it would be seen as a less committal intro to said private conversation.

Unless there's a chat room option where everything is real time it doesn't seems like a friendly "hi there" will really ever be common

5

After reading / answering your post I went to my profile and I found out that 278 members visited it since I joined. Guess what? No one said "Hello" to me. Should I cry and get depressed?

DUCHESSA Level 8 Apr 15, 2018

Hi there

Smile and know that so many people was interested/curious about you.

@jlynn37 Darling, I was attempting to make a point...to her. Nothing else.

5

What's wrong with 69? It's a great number and the conotations of that number can be VERY pleasant!

I am really trying not to be juvenille and type 'euuuuww' but 'euuuuww'

@Amisja Some people like it, and others don't. I happen to really like it. If you don't like it, that's OK. You do what you like and forget everyone else.

@soylentred The title. 69 visitors to her profile page gave the number.

5

Hello. I just visited your profile; I don't think I had been there before.
Most of us are friendly, but that is usually accompanied by curiosity. Please don't take offense.

tioteo Level 8 Apr 15, 2018
4

I don't mind a drive-by.

4

I look at many people's profile pages to get a feel for where they are coming from -- what their bio says, where they live, how old they are, and when they joined the site.

I might also click on somebody's profile to find posts or comments I remember them making.

My looking at a profile page/bio is not indicative of my interest in having a private conversation or wanting to date that person.

For some people, they are checking out profiles for that reason -- and that's great! But, I'm sure that's not the case for everbody.

That said, there are times I'd like to say "Hi" or "Welcome" just based on somebody's profile/joining. I see above that Admin is working on that.

So, Hi! And, Welcome! smile001.gif

BlueWave Level 8 Apr 16, 2018

Hiya xx

4

Hello!
Glad you have joined us!
I visit profiles after I read peoples comments on the posts. It doesn't mean I'm necessarily interested in them as potential partners. I usually want to put their comments in context, or see where they are from, etc,.. I'm nosey about our community thing.
Enjoy! Keep posting!

Archer Level 7 Apr 15, 2018

Oh ok

4

I don't look at profiles or could care less about age, height, color, creed or nation of Origin. I don't talk to Profiles if that makes more sense.

3

Eaye up and ecky thump lass

Sofabeast Level 7 Apr 15, 2018

Awreet smile009.gif

3

Hello. smile001.gif

Betty Level 7 Apr 15, 2018

Hiya Betty

3

Hellay.

2

You look a very nice lady here is my greeting im new here still finding how this works. Im in New Zealand the land of the long white cloud.

Veetto01 Level 2 Apr 16, 2018

My sister used to live in New Zealand but came back to UK. I live in the land of the constant grey cloud!

2

Hello!!! smile001.gif How are you? Hope you're haveing a good Monday!

My monday was reasonably good. Onwards to tuesday

2

Pardon me for the intrusion

Hi

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