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Dating while separated

Technically, I am still married but me and Ms Robinson live miles apart from each other and neither of us have been pushing for a divorce. My question is, is it wrong me to want to date while we are going through separation?

marcelr12 4 Apr 17
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52 comments (26 - 50)

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2

If you both want to carry on sperately can't see an issue.. Maybe both sign a solicitors letter absolving you both to go do your things in agreement .. so nobody can pull charges on the other party !!

2

I’m in the same boat. My wife /X and I are separated and waiting on the papers to clear . I dated and she has been seeing her dude . It’s kind of exhausting and if you meet some you vibe with ,even though you both know what’s up it can get complicated. I met this beautiful woman and we were dating but it started to get stressful so we pulled back and established a very good friendship that I’m pleased with. It’s natural to want to get out and run when you have been in a dysfunctional relationship, but I would caution you to be very honest with yourself and any ladies you encounter about what’s going on. Most times people have their own agenda. If you are a good dude no matter the situation, a lady is gonna home in on that ,and no matter what is said or understood ; problems arise.

2

You are still MARRIED, an dealbreaker for the majority of women.

My advice: Before dating, get divorced and work on yourself. Take responsibility for your part in the demise of your marriage. Let go of anger and resentment.

I believe people (including me) are clinically cuckoo for a year after their divorce. Crazy-making behavior results: "Now I want you; now I don't." I refuse to be the rebound girlfriend.

"Have you had a loving, long-term relationship since your divorce?" I ask divorced men. If the answer is no, I move on.

2

If you are ready to date, I think it's fine. Be honest and upfront. Some may have an issue, some may understand, some might be in the same boat! Good luck to you!

2

I'm legally separated and we no barely speak or live in the same city. However, he has hopes of reconciliation even though he periodically dates. Knowing this, I would not seriously date anyone, knowing the potential drama this could cause for all parties involved. I just haven't filed because I'm lazy and cheap. I do go out to dinner or meet up with people for coffee and things like that, but that's about it. And I'm upfront about my situation.

I don't know your situation and if you have kids, property, etc...but you should probably check the laws in your state. In some states, if you can prove adultery, the other party might have to pay alimony.

Lani Level 5 Apr 17, 2018
2

It depends on what you want from dating. Would you want to date someone who is only separated?

2

I was legally separated for two years. She had my blessing to pursue whatever she wanted. We were in different countries. An Ocean between us. When I left for Germany, she knew I was not coming back. Children were told, I visited for holidays but it was not for reconciliation. Time to talk. No Surprises. You need to talk and find out what she wants.

2

If you have any hopes of reconciliation, don’t even consider it unless you discuss it. That’s a surefire way to send the message you’re not overly interested in saving the relationship. Obviously no advice can be given without knowing circumstances, but it has to come down to figuring out what you really want. It’s natural to want the company of those you’re attracted to. You just have to weigh priorities.

What he said.

1

My husband and I are separated as of this month. I have no intention of dating any time soon, but if I so desired, as long as I am honest about my status with a potential dates, I don't think there's an issue. If my husband wanted to save the marriage, he would have made an effort. At this point, it's a countdown to the 180 days for me to be able to file for divorce. How i spend those days is not anyone's decision but mine.

1

Nah...stay safe, have fun

1

When you say separated, do you mean legally separated, or merely physically separated? Ultimately, if the relationship is over (by mutual agreement) and you just haven't split up legally, no, it's not wrong in my opinion.

1

Depends,
How long has the Seperation gone on?
Any chance at reconciliation?
Are you holding on or is she?
Do you have baggage or bad habits that you need to deal with?

I think it is always good to take time to reflect and work on you so that you can be better prepared for the next relationship (fewer mistakes, know what you want, can live with, what are deal breakers, etc. etc. Just take some time whether that is 2 weeks or 12 months. Good Luck!

1

As long as you and Ms. Robinson both agree to see other people legally you might be allright. If you are worried about legal repercussions I'd consult with your lawyer.

1

You are still married.

1

Hmmm.... friends with benefits. Sorry your separated and getting a divorce. Having fun and great sex while getting a divorce can numb the other pain. I guess you got to do what feels right for you.

1

I don't care if you're still living with your wife and still having relations with her. As long as you are up front with all parties and no one minds, it's no one else's business. Just be your honest self. Good luck

0

Do what's right for you. Just be honest with anyone you're dating.

I separated from my ex over 5 years ago, but we never got around to sorting out the paperwork. I've only ever encountered one guy who had a massive problem with it, and it turned out he had a massive problem with women, full stop. He had issues. Reckoned he didn't even talk to women because they were not worthy of his time.

Men are probably less bothered overall. You'll probably find more women knocking you back because you're still married on paper.

0

If reconciliation is not in the picture, ever, then go for it.

Irene Level 4 Apr 21, 2018
0

Generally men take longer to get over a relationship & I do not date a man until he has been divorced for at least 2 yrs because we all need to heal before moving on....

WhoMe Level 4 Apr 21, 2018
0

How long have you been separated? How often do you see each other? What's it like when you do see each other? Is your ex wife dating? Would you care if she was/is?
Imo you should only date when your last partner is old news

0

That's eomething you have to answer for yourself.

0

Marriage is a biblical and legal contract. Why would you care if you're an atheist? Are you afraid that some deity will be angry with you because you cheated? Just how deep is the Christian philosophy embedded in us? Do what you need to do if you're getting a divorce anyway.

I would argue that it's also a humanistic moral obligation. Maybe he's just concerned with respecting his wife as a human. Doing the right thing by both of them. He states specifically that neither of them are pushing for a divorce. Clearly he is conflicted.

@kusch64 He could still be committed respectfully without the handcuffs of marriage. Why so pressured?

0

Personally I didn't, because of the circumstances of my divorce, and I was asking for alimony. As long as it's not going to cause you legal problems down the road, I don't see any reason why you shouldn't.

0

No, I did, it was well known to the girl I was dating. In my case we were mentally divorced, took 3 years to finalize, what with kids, assets and general unreasonableness.

0

No not at all, I was seperated for many years but not divorced when I began seeing people again.

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